During that past seven months, I have been involved in a grief support group online which focuses on parents who have lost child either through pregnancy complications or childhood deaths. While the group support have meant a great deal for me, there is one thing that bothers me. Many of the members hate the statement, “everything happens for a reason.” They hate the statement so much that they get angry when they hear someone say it. I fully believe that everything does happens for a reason. I believe it for three reasons: God’s will, consequences or results of a decision and the nature of the world we live in.
In Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 tells us that there is a time for everything. God has a plan for all people and that we all must experience the cycles of life. The good and the bad. A time for life and death (verse 2) and a time to mourn and a time to dance (verse 4). I'm sure when people hear verses 1-8, they hear The Byrds playing in their head. I know I do. Many people would say then your babies were meant to die. Maybe they were because verse 11 says “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” We cannot see into the future or comprehend everything that God sees or understand. I fully believe with all my heart that the losses of my babies has strengthen my faith and trust in Jesus Christ, has brought my husband and me together and made us stronger and helped us appreciate the blessings that God has given us.
Judges 16 tells the story of Samson and Delilah. Samson, whose strength was greater than any man before, falls madly in love with Delilah and trusts her with his biggest secret. By telling her this secret, it led to his capture and his eventual death. The story illustrates that all our decisions have consequences for good or bad. God allowed Samson’s decision to follow its natural course and he suffered greatly for it. God does this in our lives today. Every decision will results in something. If we follow God’s plan and will, He will bless us but if we go against His plan and will, we will suffer the consequences of such a decision. We’re short on cash because we didn’t budget. We are having a fight with our loved ones because we decided to tell a secret or a lie. We worked hard at work and received a promotion. Bad decisions will yield bad results and good decisions will yield good results. Sometimes our situations are simply the results of past decisions.
Sometimes the events in our lives happen because of the fallen world we live in. Homes and businesses will be lost in a horrific storm. Certain weather patterns will form storms. There is no way to stop them or ease the damage they will cause. Earthquakes can occur at any moment and there is no way to predict them. We live in a fallen world and there is good and evil all around us. We can hope for the best but prepare for the worst. In life, there are no guarantees. There are no guarantees that everyone will live to see a ripe old age. God tells us in Job 14:5-7 that before we were even born, our days are numbered but God also tells us in Jeremiah 1:5 that before we were formed in the womb, He knew us and He has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11). I believe that God has a plan when he took my babies back to Him. I may not fully understand why but I fully trust Him that He will reveal it to me in time.
In conclusion, I believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a season for everything. Decisions will yield good or bad results. This is a fallen world. My babies’ lives were cut short by our standards. But by God’s they lived as they were determined to. I realize now that if my first baby was born, my beautiful Abby wouldn’t be here now. I also realize that if Ziva had lived, I probably would not have started my blog and actively writing again. I don’t know the reasons why but I do know that God has a plan and I will trust Him with every breath. It may hurt to think that there’s a reason for everything but to me, something happening without a reason is even worst.