Sunday, May 14, 2017

To those for whom Mother's Day is a difficult day

Today is Mother’s Day, a day to celebrate the woman who has been the most influential in our lives. While many people of happily buying gifts and mushy cards for their moms, there are a great deal more who feel the weight of today. This post is for them. This is for the women who must hide their pain as they watch everyone’s joy and celebration. I feel your pain. I know your pain. You are not alone. I see you and you are in my prayers. Many people think that becoming a mother and even being a mother is something that just happens. I know the heartache and the struggles that some don’t think about.  

To the mothers who struggle with pregnancy loss: I know this day can be the hardest. And I know that nothing I say can ease your pain. It doesn’t matter if you have a child or you don’t, any loss of a child makes this day is a reminder that all of your children are not here. While the thought may be in your head all year around, this day can bring the thought to the forefront more often, I know. It’s okay to be sad and grieve for the child or children who aren’t here to celebrate you as their mom. I pray that the Lord draw you closer today and may you feel the love of the day. Because you are a mother. Your child may not have drawn breathe or lived to see this day; however, you still held them under your heart or in your arms for their time on earth. You still had hopes and dreams for life with this child. It’s okay to cry. If I could, I would hug each one of you and cry along with you.

To the mothers who may not have their children due to circumstances beyond their control: I can’t begin to understand the sorrow you feel with this day. Not all moms don’t have custody of their children because they did something wrong. Sometimes it’s just in the best interest of the child. At the time you may the best decision you could. To know that your child(ren) are out there somewhere and not with you. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, for comfort, for strength. I can only pray that the Lord gives you the comfort that your children are safe and loved. They miss you and think of you often. And may one day they will be with you again. I know there is no getting back the days or years without your children and the hope of seeing them again one day may be of little comfort, I hope you find it in your heart and mind to understand that you did nothing wrong. You were trying to be the best mother to your children. Unfortunately, this cold, cruel world was against you.  

To the individuals who mothers are no longer here: the loss of a parent is one of the hardest goodbye we will face in life, especially a mother. When your mother is a strong positive influence and force in your life, her absence can be felt the deepest on Mother’s Day. When your mom was your confidant and a source of comfort and advice and everything a mother should be, Mother’s Day makes her loss an even deeper hole in your life. Remember your mom with fondness, remember the good days and happy times. “When you speak of her, speak not with tears, for thoughts of her should not be sad. Let memories of the times you shared give you comfort, for her life was rich because of you” (author unknown). May the memories of your mom bring joy and laughter through your tears for our mom never truly leave us. Their love leaves a deep impression on our hearts.

To the individuals who may not have the greatest relationship with their mother: this day can be hard too. The greeting cards gush with love over a mom’s love, a mom’s care and influence. Cards thanking moms for being the reason you are such a great person today. However, this may not be a positive thing. I know many people who are great people despite their mother’s treatment of them growing up. When your mother isn’t a positive influence in your life, it makes the meaning of Mother’s Day very hard. I know people whose mothers act and believe that their children are here to serve them throughout their lives and never really see them for the adults they are today. The wound is deep when it’s your mom who doesn’t see you as a strong, successful person, living life and taking care of things as successful adults do. Nothing you do may be good enough for her, but you can be proud of your accomplishments.

In closing, I want to leave you with words of comfort. When Mother’s Day is a day mixed with sadness among the joy and celebration. To the mothers of loss and those who have lost their moms, “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal” (from a Headstone in Ireland). To the mothers whose children cannot be with them, may you feel your child’s love across the miles. To the individuals with not so good relationships with their moms, I know it’s hard when the woman who is supposed to love you doesn’t act like it. To everyone who hurts on Mother’s Day, Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” May you feel the Lord’s comfort today and always.