Have you ever had a conversation start with “Now don’t get
mad” and you or someone is immediately on the defensive because what is about to said will probably make you or them mad? Our emotions are natural and God
given feelings. To tell someone, “don’t get mad” is denying them their natural
feelings. However, our emotions can get us in trouble if we don’t learn how to
manage them and deal with them in an appropriate manner. Your emotions are what
make you human. Emotions can build and build until they can’t be held in
anymore and there are wrong ways to express anger.
First, do not bottle up your emotions. Allow yourself to be
angry, to feel sad. Your emotions are a part of you and are a part of what
makes you human. Jesus expressed his emotions freely. He expresses his emotions
freely. He wept and grieved at the death of his friend (John 11:35). He showed
his anger at people’s disbelief and stubborn hearts and turned that anger to
heal a man before their very eyes (Mark 3:5a). He expressed his anger at the
men exploited people’s attempts to worship at the temple (Matthew 21:2, Mark
11:12-19, Luke 19:45-48 and John 2:14-15). The Lord understands the emotions
you are feeling. Come to him in prayer and expressing your emotions. Tell him
how angry you are, He understands. Tell him how sad, hurt, depressed you are,
He knows.
Second, denying yourself to feel any emotions, especially
negative emotions can lead to sinful behavior. Just like a soda bottle that has
been shaken too much, eventually the pressure will become too much and you will
explode. You may say or do something that you will regret. You may hurt others
with your words or actions in a way you never meant to. Job openly grieved for
the loss of his family (Job 1:20-22) and says “Therefore, I will not keep
silent; I speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the
bitterness of my soul” (Job 7:11). Keeping emotions locked in can lead to a
bitter and angry spirit.
Third, there are many examples in the Bible of how anger is
expressed in the wrong way and lives ruined when anger is not managed properly.
Cain, jealous that his brother’s offering was honored by God, turned his anger
toward his brother and kills him (Genesis 4:1-8). The result? He is condemned
to walk the earth as a restless wanderer (Genesis 4:12). Sarah mistreats Hagar
out of jealousy and anger. Hagar was able to get pregnant when Sarah could not (Genesis
16:6). Sarah was angry at herself and her infertility and took it out on her
maidservant who was just following orders. Haman, angry at Mordecai for not
kneeing in his honor, plots to kill the Jews (Esther 3:5-6). The result? Haman
ends up tangled in his own web and is hanged on the very gallows he prepared
for Mordecai (Esther 7:10). Anger can be very dangerous when we place on anger
against someone else.
In conclusion, do not hide your emotions. Emotions are a
part of what makes you human. It is not sinful or inappropriate to express
them. Express them in a way which is healthy and safe. For me, I pray and cried
out to God. Sometimes simply saying through my tears, “Please, God.” I also
write. I write about my anger, my fears, my sorrows and my joy. Talk about your
emotions to a trust friend or relative. Believe me, when you give your emotions
a voice, the negative emotions lose their power and hold on you and you’re able
to think clearly. Be careful to direct your emotions at the right person. Deep
breathes, think before saying or doing anything. You have the right to feel
your emotions; however, your emotions do not have the right to own you.
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