The First Time I Said Goodbye: a mother-daughter journey to the past to renew the present

The First Time I Said Goodbye by Claire Allan is a story of loss, renewal, and forgiveness. The story opens as Annabel Jackson says goodbye to her beloved father after a long battle with cancer. She is devasted as her mother, Stella, is stoic. Stella asks Annabel to join to on a trip to her hometown of Derry, Ireland, a place she has not been to in forty years. Reluctantly, Annabel agrees, wondering why her mother wants to return to Ireland after so many years. Once there, she learns her mother has an ulterior motive for coming to Ireland and the unfinished business she must deal with now. Annabel quickly learns more about her mother than she ever knew before. As she learns about her mother as a young woman, Annabel begins questioning her own life including her relationship with her long-time boyfriend, Craig. Will she be able to see Stella as the woman she is and not just as her mother? Will she finally listen to her heart and follow the desires she has long put aside?

The First Time I Said Goodbye is a story of a mother and daughter, who in their own loss, find a way to connect in ways they never connected before. With the storyline switching between the summer of 2010 and the years of 1959-1962, we see Stella as a young woman in love who makes a fateful decision which brought her Ireland again. It was not what I expected when I picked up the book. I have read reunion stories before and thought it would be more a romance than a mother-daughter story. I enjoyed it as many children never truly see their parents as the individuals they were before children, with hopes and dreams and dealing with decisions of the past. One of my favorite moments in the story is when Stella’s mother Kathleen tells her “When Life says give up, Hope whispers ‘Try it one more time.’” This is essentially the theme of the story: to try one more time. One factor I did not like is that the story slowly builds up to a lover’s reunion only to be rushed at the end and it felt unsatisfying. However, I do recommend The First Time I Said Goodbye for its beautiful setting and the characters’ personal journeys.

The First Time I Said Goodbye

is available in paperback and eBook