Rizpah: one mother's grief and unfailing vigilance

Losing a child is a parent’s worst nightmare. It seems to be against the natural order of things for a child to die before a parent. And most parents are always prepared to go first. It doesn’t always work that way. Rizpah was a concubine of King Saul and mother of two sons. She would face a parent's worst nightmare. What many would think would destroy any mother, Rizpah displayed great courage and loyalty after the death of her sons. She couldn’t stop the political games that would take their lives but she was determined to protect them after death. What were the events that led to her sons’ deaths? What were her motivations for her vigil? What lessons can we take away from her story? Her brief story is told in 2 Samuel 21:1-14. 

She watches from a hill as seven men are executed. Among the dead are her two sons. Executed for their father’s crimes. Their bodies left to rot on the hillside. Her grief is intensified as her sons are “ritually slaughtered in a shocking episode that is part human sacrifice and part sanctioned execution” (Smith and McCreary). Rizpah prepares to sit and wait. Why were these men executed? In Joshua 9:16-20, Joshua had promised peace with the Gibeonites but King Saul did not keep that promise as he had many murdered. Possibly in an attempt to annihilate them. The Gibeonites asked King David for seven of Saul’s male offspring as retribution (2 Samuel 21:6). They asked the men be killed and exposed before the Lord. David agreed. Scriptures don’t say if these men shared in Saul’s guilt, their own guilt may have been as Saul’s male descendants. Rizpah began her vigil. She sits for several months from the month of Nissan (March/April) to Tishrei  (September/October), only moving to keep the scavenger animals from the bodies. Her vigil moves King David who collected the bones of these men as well as the bones of Saul and his son Jonathan and saw that they were given a proper burial. 

Losing a child is a unique sorrow. There is nothing that can compare to this grief. The love of a grieving mother is a force to be reckoned with. A force so powerful that nothing can stand in its way. Rizpah is an example of a mother’s love and devotion. She would spend six months by her sons’ side. She would fight off the birds and other animals from defiling her sons’ bodies. Did she even question the wisdom of her actions? Did she think anyone would care? Or did she only think that her sons’ were there and so would she? When I think of Rizpah never leaving her sons’ side, I think of another mother who is a portrait of motherly devotion. In the 1989 movie, Steel Magnolias, M'Lynn Eatenton (played by Sally Field) never leaves her daughter’s side, as she lay comatose.  She is also the last to leave the gravesite after the funeral. Rizpah also serves as an example of a shmirah. In Jewish tradition, shmirah is a guardian who stays with a body from the time of death to the time of burial (Katz, 2016). Psalms would be read and prayers offered as the body is prepared for burial. Rizpah serving as a shimirah shows us that bodies are not just a pile of bones and flesh when they die. They are still people. They are still someone’s parent, child, a loved one worthy of care. 

Grief is a strange journey that many of us are not prepared for. Grief for a child is the loneliest and most bleak journey one hopes to never take. Through Rizpah’s silent grieving, we see a powerful testimony to a mother’s pain, love and courage (Smith and McCreary). Her consistency and tenacity to never give up is a testament to the power of a mother’s love. It is also a lesson that God can turn our most painful moments into our greatest triumphs (Smith and McCreary). As Rizpah grieved her sons, her devotion moved King David to do the right thing for these men and give them a proper burial. She is an image of grief with grace and dignity. She may have received pity as people observed her on that hillside for six months. Maybe she received ridicule as well. It most likely didn’t matter to Rizpah. What mattered was her sons were there and needed protection. For many bereaved parents, grief is a pendulum that swings from intense fresh feelings to almost feeling normal again with no warning when it would swing again. It is a constant balancing act of grief and happiness. Did Rizpah ever feel happy again? We don’t know. As quietly as she entered this story, she left to live out her life, hopefully in peace that she fought for her sons in death the way she couldn’t fight in life. 

Rizpah’s story is one of grief and determination to protect one’s children. It is devastating for a parent when a child dies. It does not matter if that child was young or an adult on his or her own, it is a loss that parents aren’t prepared for. For six months, Rizpah stood vigil at her sons’ bodies, fighting for them the way she couldn’t fight in life.. Her dedication moves King David to give the men a proper burial. Despite the political motivations behind their deaths, they were still someone’s loved one. Rizpah’s story is a reminder of that especially today of political discord. When someone who is disliked has died, the ugly and cruel comments fly and people will forget that despite someone’s political commentary, they had loved ones who are mourning their loss. 

References

Katz, Ariana (December 12, 2016) Rizpah, Guardian of the Dead. Death and the Maiden. https://deadmaidens.com/2016/12/12/rizpah-guardian-of-the-dead/ Retrieved January 24, 2022. 

Smith, Rev. Terry Ann, Ph.D and McCreary, Rev. Micah L, Ph.D. (no date). Rizpah: Tragedy into Triumph. Faithward. https://www.faithward.org/rizpah-turning-tragedy-into-triumph/. Retrieved January 24, 2022.