Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Finding F*ck Yes: one woman's journey with sexuality and a chronic illness


Finding F*ck Yes: A Memoir of Orgasms and Insulin by Clare Marie Edgeman is an unabashed, in your face honesty about sex and one woman’s journey to enjoy sex and dealing with the constraints of Type 1 diabetes. From her nerdy teenager years in rural Montana to her traveling across Europe before settling in New York City, Ms. Edgeman writes a vulnerable memoir in which she holds nothing back. She describes herself as a “strong, independent, curvy, diabetic slut” as she finds dates on various dating apps and hooks up through friends and acquaintances. Finding F*ck Yes can be described as Sex and the City for millennials or even, as someone else put it, Eat, Pray, Love, meets Sex and the City, as it is her journey to self-discovery, self-knowledge and becoming comfortable with every aspect of her life from her body image, her Type 1 diabetes and her sexual desires.



When I was asked to review Finding F*ck Yes, I was intrigued by the premise as I have never seen a book about sexuality and a chronic illness. And it starts that way, but at one point for several chapters, she does not mention her Type 1 diabetes. After a while, the book became formulaic as she goes from one lover to another. I liked that she is comfortable with her promiscuity and she does not try to convince other women to follow her example. I have never been or could ever be promiscuous. I am proud and comfortable, and quite satisfied with having only one partner just as she is proud and comfortable with her “sluttiness.” And I think Ms. Edgeman’s point of her memoir is for women to be comfortable with their lifestyle as they chose to live it regardless of how others may think. The descriptions of her sexual encounters do get graphic and some were very cringey that I skimmed through it. So, if you have delicate sensibilities, this book is not for you. I applaud and appreciate her honesty as she pulls no punches. This book is not for everyone and I would recommend it for those women who may be struggling with their body image and how it may affect their sexuality. With writing Finding F*ck Yes: A Memoir of Orgasms & Insulin, Ms. Edgeman puts forth “a reflection of our society, a meditation on self-worth, a treatise on how we treat women who love sex, and a challenge of how we view women who are not thin.” And to some degree, I feel Ms. Edgeman accomplishes her goal.

Finding F*ck Yes:
A Memoir of Orgasms and Insulin
is available in paperback and eBook

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