Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Reflections on turning 35

Tomorrow I turn 35. It’s not a milestone birthday but I find myself laughing when I remember being a teenager thinking 30’s and 40’s were so far off. Now, I’m five years from 40. Not that I’m afraid of turning 40, age is just a number. You remain youthful by allowing yourself to live youthful moments. Youthful moments takes the stress of adult responsibility away and hides it for a moment. I think certain birthdays cause you to stop and look back. To see how different you are from your youth or even how much you are the same. I look back on my life and think about what regrets I may have and what I look forward to in the future. I think everyone has regrets. The difference is some people hold on to their regrets and allow them to weigh them down, while others see their regrets as lessons learned for the future. Do I have regrets? 

  • I regret childhood friends I let slip out of my life. I wish I could find them and apologize for doing them wrong. Maybe one day, I will. I pray that they forgive me and that they are healthy and happy. 
  • I regret not sticking up for myself when times called for it. It’s a lesson I’ve definitely learned now and I’m not afraid to stand up. Many people may not like what I have to say but I’m tired of keeping quiet when something upsets me or irks me. 

And no:
  • I don’t regret my college education. I enjoyed school and learned a lot. I may not be working in career in my fields but I use the information I learned every day. 
  • I don’t regret changing my career goals. If I had stuck to my original career plan, I wouldn’t have moved to Ontario in 2005, I wouldn’t have met my husband and gotten married and we wouldn’t have our daughter. If my life went a different path, I wouldn’t have the two most important people in my life 

My life is good. I’ve always dreamed of being a wife, mother and author. 2 out of 3 isn’t bad and I’m working on #3. I still have a lot to look forward to and I eagerly await those days. I may not be rich, I may not have a fancy house or car but I have a great family loves me unconditionally and we have great adventures together. I have great friends who care deeply for me as I celebrate and struggle through the moments of my life. I have a great hobby that allows me to reach people from across the country and around the world. I’ve met great new people who have read my blog and liked what they read. Every now and then I think of what could have been, then I remember everything I wouldn’t gain if my path was different. I’m looking forward to my birthday and many birthdays after. Life is good.