Raising a child is a very important responsibility. Parents
are very important figures in a child’s development. Not just physically so
they grow up healthy; but also, mentally and emotionally so they grow up to be
mature and responsible adults who pass on the same lessons to future
generations. Parents shape the future with every action, reaction or even
inaction. The decision to have children should not be made lightly as it is a
huge life altering event in your life. The Bible has a lot to say about parents
and child. Discipline is an important part of parenting and often the most
controversial. What exactly does the Bible say about discipline? What are my
thoughts on parenting? Should everyone become parents?
Parents shape the future. Parents shape the world’s future
by the way they shape their children’s values. When you show and teach your
children to love and cherish the people in their lives, to help those in need
and live responsibly and rightly, children will grow up to do the same. We need
to steer children toward Christ by our example, our words and our acts of
kindness. However, on the flip side, if you teach your child it is okay to
cheat, lie and even hurt those around them, they will repeat those actions. In
Genesis 26:7-11, Isaac lied about Rebekah being his sister just like his
father, Abraham, lied and presented his wife, Sarah, as his sister. Not just
once but twice (Genesis 12:10-14 and 20:1-4)! Our actions affect our children.
Exodus 34:7 states that the punishment of sins will affect the third and fourth
generations. This means that the consequences of sins will be felt and spread
to future generations. When parents teach the sins of greed, selfishness and
other destructive behaviors, the cycle continues into future generations.
Parents are responsible to teach their children about God, teaching His Word.
We are to teach them about God in everything we do and everywhere you go. Psalm
22:30-31 says “Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about
the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn-for he has
done it.” If we want our children to know the Lord, we must teach them. We
cannot leave it to the church, and Sunday school teachers. Just like with their
education in school, everything starts and continues with parents. Church,
Sunday school teachers and education teachers are only added to the team to
instruct children; however, parents are the first and most important teachers.
Parenting is an awesome and scary responsibility. Discipline
is an important responsibility in parenting as it is used to mold and shape our
children. It is also one of the most difficult tasks to do and follow through. The
Bible has a great example: King David. 2 Samuel 14:33 demonstrates David’s
halfhearted approach to parenting led to sad situations. David didn’t punish
Ammon for his sin against Tamar nor did he decisively deal with Absalom’s
murder of Ammon. This indecision would lead to David’s undoing and turmoil in
the kingdom following his reign. However, some parents take it to extreme and
are too strict that they stifle their children. Many people quote Proverbs 13:
24 “He who spares the rod hates his son” to justify corporal punishment.
However, they forget or ignore the second part, “but he who loves him is
careful to disciple him.” Parents need to exercise their authority with caution
and grace. Actions speak louder than words. Children learn values, morals, and
priorities by observing how their parents act and react every day. The “Do as I
say and not as I do” cliché doesn’t work. They cannot and should not be beaten
into behaving. Sometimes, despite our best effort, our children will choose the
wrong path. For example, in 1 Samuel 8:1-3, As an old man, Samuel appointed his
sons as judges; however, these men were corrupt and did not serve as their
father did. The Bible does not tell us if it was Samuel’s parenting that led to
the men’s corrupt behaviors. However, it is an example to us parents, that when
your children are grown, we must realize that our control and influence over
them can dwindle. All we can do is pray that they return to God and the path we
tried to teach them.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have always dreamed
of having children. I dreamed of my children and even had their names picked
out before I even close to being married. My journey to motherhood has been a
rocky one and despite my desires to be a mother, I was not prepared for the
demands a child has on you physically, emotionally and mentally. However, I
learned quickly, and I take my job as a mother very seriously. I’m lucky that I
have a husband who is equally committed to his job as a father that we are
often on the same page when it comes to the demands of parenthood. Even though
I grew up around babies and young children and my husband was even used to
being around young children, it is very different when it’s your own child. You
find yourself filling with doubt at every decision. Breastfeeding or formula?
Vaccinations or not? This diaper or that one? Is the baby too warm? Too cold?
Preschool or not? Is my child ready for school? Will she fall behind? Am I
doing enough to prepare her for the challenges she will face in the future? Parenting
is more than just putting food on the table, providing clothes and shoes. When
people think of children, they think of the physical provisions. How many of
you had a parenting class in high school when you carried around a sack of flour
or the doll that cried like a real baby? What did it teach you? It taught you
the physical demands of a child. But people often forget or are unprepared for
the emotional and psychological needs of a child. This is where the high school
programs fail too. Parenting is also being there when the child needs
encouragement, instruction and celebration. It is taking an interest in what
your child likes and helping her understand why something is inappropriate.
When I was searching for images to include in this post, I
came across a quote from Jessica Valenti, an American feminist, from her book, Why
Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness (2012).
She says, “The cultural insistence that parenting is the ‘most important’ job
in the world is a smart way to satiate unappreciated women without doing a damn
thing for them.” At first, I was angry at this quote. Parenting is a very
important job in the world! However, as I thought about it, I realized that she
is right. The key word is “most.” While parenting is an important job, it is not
the only job a woman can do. All jobs are important in our world, no one job is
more important than another. I also realize that when most people think of
parents, an image of a mother flashes in their minds. How many products are
marketed to women as the parental decision makers? “Choosy moms choose Jif?”
Diaper commercials? The Luvs marketing campaign comes to mind. Fathers are
often pushed aside when it comes to parenting. And while most fathers gladly
take a sideline to raising their children, there are a growing number of men
who realize their role as parents and are fighting against the tradition.
Raising children is not just the job of the mother. It was designed to be a job
for two people. While there are times, I am the main one in charge of certain
tasks, for the most part, my husband and I are truly parenting partners. I may
make it sound too perfect and I don’t mean to. There are days when I get
frustrated and overwhelmed. I’ve learned that I need to say, “hey I need your
help!” That is a lesson many mothers need to learn. Asking for help doesn’t
mean you are a bad mother. It helps your children learn that it is okay to ask
for and receive help when it is needed.
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