National Read a Book Day: the benefits and joy of reading

Today is National Read a Book Day, which is celebrated every year on September 6th. As an avid bookworm, many of you know that I love books. I fell in love with reading in the seventh grade when I was introduced to The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and I began to read for pleasure as well as for my assignments. The origin behind National Read a Book Day is a bit of a mystery but whoever came up with the idea had an amazing idea. Some people reading is a favorite pastime, while for others it is a chore but overall there are many benefits to reading. I will share a few of my favorite reads as well as tips to observe National Read a Book Day. 

The benefits of reading are both for the physical body as well as your mental well-being. First, MRI scans have shown that reading creates and strengthens the sophisticated network of circuits and signals in the brain (Stanborough, 2019). Second, reading has been shown to reduce stress. Reading for a little as 30 minutes a day has been shown to lower blood pressure, heart rate and psychological distress (Stanborough, 2019). Third, reading has been shown to help prepare your brain for a good night’s rest. Doctors at the Mayo Clinic suggest reading as a regular part of your nightly routine (Stanborugh, 2019). For an individual’s mental well-being, first, reading helps increase your ability to empathize with others. Studies have shown that people who read literary fiction have a heightened ability to understand the feelings and beliefs of others (Stanborough, 2019). Second, reading helps build one’s vocabulary. Studies have shown that children who are exposed to reading at an young age develop larger vocabulary. Third, reading helps prevent age-related cognitive decline. “A 2013 study conducted by Rush University Medical Center found that people who’ve engaged in mentally stimulating activities all their lives were less likely to develop the plaques, lesions, and tau-protein tangles” associated with dementia (Stanborough, 2019). 

With all these benefits, many people ask, what should I read? Anything! Anything you enjoy. Anything that you find relaxing will provide these benefits. If you like humor, read it! If you enjoy sci-fi or fantasy, read it! The point is to engage your brain and enjoyment is a part of that engagement. There are many lists out there that claim books one must read before they die or to be considered educated. I’ve tried to read some of the books there and even as an avid reader, it was a struggle. Until I came across someone who stated that life’s too short to read books that bore you, so read for enjoyment. I mentioned The Outsiders above, here are a few of my other favorites from the classics to modern publications.

My favorite classics:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird (1960) by Harper Lee

2. Jane Eyre (1847) by Charlotte Bronte

3. Fahrenheit 451 (1953) by Ray Bradbury

4. The Chronicles of Narnia series (1950-1956) by CS Lewis

5. Bridge to Terabithia (1977) by Katherine Paterson

My favorite modern publications:

1. The Kite Runner (2003) by Khaled Hosseini 

2. The Harry Potter series (1997-2007) by J.K. Rowling

3. Tales of the Scavenger’s Daughters series (2013-2015) and it’s prequel, The Palest Ink (2015) by Kay Bratt

4. Hurricane Summer (2021) by Asha Bromfield

5. The Color of Heaven (2013) by Julianne MacLean

Now, how to observe National Read a Book Day? Simply, sit back, relax and read a book. Celebrate with a new book you’ve been meaning to read or select an old favorite. Reading doesn’t even have to be a traditional book, especially if you are trying to encourage your children to read. Comic books and graphic novels are a great source of entertainment with a complex storyline and amazing art work. Manga books, Japanese comic or graphic novels,  have grown in popularity among young adults, with their unique style of art and storytelling. Dr. Laura Jimenez of Brown University has found that comic, graphic novels and manga “provide an entry point for struggling readers, challenge gifted readers, and help more students learn” (Maxwell, 2018) and may even lead young adults to become readers of traditional books as well as comics. You can also visit a local library or a local bookstore by yourself or take your family. Have your children pick out a book to read as a family. Still unsure what to read? Librarians and bookstore staff are great sources for recommendations as well as Amazon, Goodreads and other online sources. With the growing popularity and convenience of eBooks, books can now go with us wherever we go! 

In conclusion, I love reading. I spend many hours of my day reading and writing reviews for others to hopefully pick up and enjoy as well. Reading may be a solitary activity but it can open a wide community of fellow readers. Reading has great benefits for our bodies and our minds. With so many choices and so many genres, everyone can find books they will enjoy. Whether it is a traditional book, comic books or an eBook, reading is reading. It engages the mind, reduces stress and can help us build a better community as we learn to empathize with others. Remember, reading as little as 30 minutes a day can bring these benefits. Pick up your favorite book, sit back and immerse yourself in a different world for a while. Happy National Read a Book Day! 

Reference

Maxwell, Lucas (August 2, 2018). A Friendly Reminder that Comic Books Still Count as Reading. Bookriot.com. https://bookriot.com/comic-books-count-as-reading/. Retrieved September 2, 2021. 

Stanborough, Rebecca Joy (October 15, 2019). Benefits of Reading Books: How It Can Positively Affect Your Life. Heathline.com. https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-reading-books. Retrieved September 1, 2021. 

The Importance of Fathers

As today is Father’s Day, I want to talk about the importance of fathers. The image of a father is the superhero. The man who provides both physical and emotional security. The man who fixes things and scares the monsters away. There are many instances when men don’t think their presence is needed. And there are women who think they don’t need a man to raise a child. When it comes to a child’s physical and emotional well-being, a mom and a dad are needed. Anyone can be a father but a real father takes effort and commitment. Fathers are just as important as mothers for a child’s emotional well-being and will impact their future selves. Most parenting studies have focused on mothers, but slowly, studies have looked at the role a father plays in the lives of their children. It is not just a fatherly presence. Studies have shown that it is the father’s engagement that plays a greater role. Because a physically present father is not enough. He must be engaged and active in his children’s lives. 

Researchers have studied The Father Effect, the benefits of a paternal presence. A consistent correlation has been seen between a father's engaged presence and a lack of aggression in kids across socioeconomic status (Krisch, 2021). With an engaged father, kids are less likely to drop out of school, less likely to engage in criminal behavior, less likely to have sex at a young age, and tend to avoid high risk behaviors with fewer psychological problems throughout their lives (Krisch, 2021). Studies have shown when a father is affectionate and supportive, a child grows up with a greater cognitive and social development. Their overall sense of well-being and self-confidence is greatly affected by their father’s engagement in their lives. The importance of a father’s presence is quality over quantity. It is not the amount of time spent but how the time is spent. An hour a day playing a child’s favorite video games is better than hours mindlessly watching tv together. Father involvement even during pregnancy has shown to have an effect on the father and child relationship for a lifetime. When a father is engaged in preparation, labor coaching, etc that engagement will remain going forward (Krisch, 2021). A father who commits to a care of a baby will often further that commitment as the child grows. 

Fathers are different parents than mothers in many ways. First, fathers parent and discipline differently (Stanton, 2004). The style from each parent helps create a healthy and proper balance between rules and relationships. Fathers usually stress justice, fairness and duty in the form of rules while mothers tend to stress sympathy, care and help in the form of relationship. By enforcing the rules, fathers prepare their children for the reality and harshness of the world. Children learn consequences for their actions. Second, fathers play differently. Most fathers will engage in more exciting styles of play like roughhousing with their kids while mothers will engage in more gentle styles like peek-a-boo or hide and seek. By rough housing, children learn what behaviors are unacceptable such as biting and kicking, as well as self-control when they are told “enough is enough” and to settle down (Stanton, 2004). Third, fathers build confidence to try new things. Fathers are usually ones to encourage kids to push the limits while mothers are usually the ones to urge caution. Fathers are usually the ones who teach children how to ride bikes and mothers are the ones who fix the boo-boos when they fall down.  

Another important aspect that fathers teach their children is the relational patterns. Fathers help set the bar for relationships with others. The relational patterns a father sets with his children will influence how they will relate to others whether it is friends, co-workers, and romantic partners. When children see their father engage in a strong and loving relationship with their mother, they will search for those qualities and treatment in their own relationships. A famous quote says “A father is a daughter’s first love. A man who will set the standard by which she will judge all men.” This statement has been proven true time and time again. If a father forges a good, strong relationship with his daughter, she will in turn look for those qualities in her future romantic relationships. He will teach her how to love and be loved. All positive and negative attributes will influence a daughter. She will look for the positive attributes and avoid the negatives ones in relationships. In contrast, a son will learn what it is to be a man. He will learn how to be a provider, a leader and a father. He will learn how to function in the workplace and the world in general through the example of his father. 

In conclusion, fathers are more than just sperm donors. They are very important to their children’s physical and emotional well-being. The Father Effect demonstrates the importance of a father’s engaged presence in their children’s lives. From enforcing rules and teaching consequences to teaching positive relational patterns, a father is an important figure. A father’s absence is a wound that very few can fill. A mother cannot replace a father, no matter how much she wants to or how hard she tries. In her book, Dear fathers of the fatherless children (2019), Charlena E. Jackson writes “Fathers of the fatherless children, open your eyes and know your presence is very critical. Be your son’s hero and let him know he can conquer the world. Be your daughter's first knight in shining armor. Be a part of your son’s and daughter’s success instead of their pain.” To those who are the positive, engaged father in their children’s lives, Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for taking your role as a father seriously. You are your children’s hero in more ways than you can possibly know. 

 

References

Jackson, Charlena E. (November 27, 2019). Dear fathers of the fatherless children. Divergent S.P.E.E.D. ISBN-13: 978-1734070415. 

Kirsch, Joshua A (May 11, 2021). The Science of Dad and the ‘Father Effect.’ Fatherly. https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/science-benefits-of-fatherhood-dads-father-effect/. Retrieved June 18, 2021. 

Stanton, Glenn T. (January 1, 2004). The Involved Father. Focus on the Family. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/the-involved-father/. Retrieved June 18, 2021. 

Being childlike vs being childish: what's the difference?

What is the difference between childlike and childish? Is it okay for an adult to be childlike but not okay to be childish? When I was researching this topic, I found that many people use the terms interchangeably. While both essentially mean the same thing: “resembling or suggesting a child,” each have very different connotations. For an adult, to be childlike is having the good qualities of a child: innocent wonder and curiosity, trusting, being unfeigned (genuine/sincere) or pure. While being childish is to act with the negative behaviors associated with a child: immaturity and puerile (silly/trivial) behaviors. What does it mean to be childlike? What does it mean to be childish? What are the benefits to be childlike?

Many Christians believe that the Bible calls believers to have a childlike faith. There is no verse which exact says this; however, there are a few verses which imply it but not in the way most Christians believe. Matthew 18:3-4 “And he said, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.’” In this situation, the disciples had become preoccupied with the organization of the ministry and lost sight of its divine purpose. Instead of focusing on their position of service, they were seeking positions of advantages. Jesus illustrates that we are to be childlike with humble and sincere hearts rather than childish and arguing over petty issues. Mark 10:14-15 is another verse which Jesus tells his disciples that a childlike attitude is needed. We need to trust God with a child simplicity and receptivity. I believe God calls us to trust him like a child would trust a loving parent. We are to mature in our faith, to learn more, to understand more but we need to retain that childlike trust.

To some, being like a child is to be childish. One of the most quoted verses for this idea is 1 Corinthians 13:11 in which Paul says “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish ways behind me.” Does Paul mean to stop enjoying things children enjoy like toys and movies? No, he doesn’t. What he is saying is that we need to stop doing childish things. We must leave behind childish manners and habits. Childish thoughts and reasonings are often weak, inconclusive, shortsighted and immature. Childish adults will often have severe emotional escalations like tantrums and pouting. They will place blame on others rather than themselves. They will lie to get out of trouble and can resort to name calling when they don’t get their way. Sometimes when we get hurt, it is easy to resort to being childish and lash out. However, it takes great control to respond with maturity. Unfortunately, there are individuals who do not possess that control and maturity especially when they feel attacked and unable to defend themselves. I see this immaturity in many of the political disagreements in the world today.

I see benefits to being childlike and enjoying things that children enjoy. First, as a parent, it can help me spend time with my daughters if I enjoy what they enjoy. If I watch and enjoy My Little Pony or any Disney film with my daughter, I can have conservations with her about what happened. I can help establish memories she can look back fondly on when she is grown up and has children of her own. Second, being able to enjoy childlike things is a way to destress and enjoy life. Getting lost in a Disney movie or a children’s adventure book allows adults to forget the cold, cruel world that awaits them. The escapism is important for our mental health. It is one of the reasons why I prefer to watch movies which entertain me rather than be thought provoking. While I enjoy thought provoking films, I need to be in the mental capacity to handle the topic. Life is hard enough, we need an escape every now and then. Third, it’s fun. Being able to let loose and be a kid again is very freeing. It allows us to laugh and be carefree.

In conclusion, being childlike is okay. We are called to have a childlike trust with God. even a benefit to us as we live this hard life. It can help us be better parents to our children, to escape the harshness of life and have fun. While it is easy to resort back to childish ways, it takes maturity to turn away from childish behaviors. We only get one life. I feel if someone gets enjoyment from childlike things, there is nothing wrong with it. It is when someone behave childish is when individuals create problems in their lives. So be childlike not childish.

Collecting: more than just gathering stuff

Collection is the act or process of accumulating something. Items from very inexpensive to extravagant. People collect many different things. My husband and I are collectors. It is one of the many things we have in common. For many of our friends and even his co-workers do not understand the drive behind collecting. The desire to collect can originate in many different ways. For many collectors, it falls into three categories, childhood memories and connections. It is the thrill of the hunt for new items. Or the special meaning or symbolism in the subject of the collection. There are many benefits to the brain when someone has a collection.

For many collectors, the joy of collecting stems from their childhood memories. My husband who primarily collects Star Wars action figures and memorabilia. It first began when he was 4 or 5 years ago when someone gave him a Ewok playset and the Cantina playset. However. The bulk of his collection started when he was 17. It’s the memory of getting those playsets as a child which drives his love of collecting. Many of my collection started when I was a teenager. My Coca-Cola collection started when I bought a Coca-Cola bottle with the Argentinean flag on it. It was 1994 World Cup and I thought it was cool. The one bottle turned into a lifetime collection. I’ve also been a long time collector of Precious Memories figurines. I collect pieces which are cute or have a special meaning for me at the time. For instance, one of my favorite pieces is called “Together is the nicest place to be” and it features a couple relaxing on the couch. It was given to me by my husband early in our marriage and it symbolizes exacting how I feel. It does matter what we are doing or where we are, when my husband and I are together is where I want to be.

Another source of joy of collecting is the thrill of the hunt. This is particularly true for my husband. There is a local hobby show called Frank and Sons. It is a large warehouse with individual booths inside where collectors can browse a wide range of collectibles for sale or even trade. Usually when a particular action figure is difficult to find in local retail stores, my husband can go to Frank and Sons and find it. He will look over the piece with a very critical eye, looking for flaws. There could be flaws in the paint, in the sculpting, or in the packaging. He’ll look over the figure while considering the asking price and make a decision about his counteroffer. He is also really good at bargaining with the seller. After a little back and forth, he and the seller will come to a deal which sometimes includes another figure for a lower price. The thrill of looking for the piece, finding the piece and then negotiating a price and the satisfaction when the piece is included in the collection is the satisfaction that comes with collecting.

For some collectors the items they collect have a special meaning or symbolism in their lives. The meaning or symbolism could be what the animal represents or it could have a connection to a loved one who has passed. I have many collections which has special meaning or symbolism to me. I recently started collect owls. In one year, I have quite a collection already. Owls symbolize wisdom and knowledge. I’ve always loved learning. I continue to teach myself new things all the time, so the owl seems to fit my personality. I have also thought owls to beautiful creatures. I’ve also collected wolves since high school. Wolves are another beautiful and majestic creature. Wolves symbolize a strong knowledge and instincts about oneself. Like with owls, I have felt a strong connection with wolves.  I also collect certain animals to represent my children especially my children who have passed. If you’ve read my blog before you know that I lost three children to miscarriage or premature birth. Each animal has a special connection to my children so that I can carry a piece of them with me. It doesn’t matter if anyone else doesn’t understand the symbolism, I do and it is a comfort.

There are many benefits to the brain when someone collects items as a hobby. First, collecting builds observational skills. A collector becomes more cognizant for details and becomes a better finder and seeker for items. For example, my husband’s ability to find the tiniest flaw on an action figure has helped him develop the ability to construct the display case at work which is appealing and inviting. Second, collecting improves organizational skills and enhances pattern recognition. A collection is often organized by shape, size, genre, series, and so on. Organizing the collection into categories enhances the ability to recognize common characteristics and detect gaps or flaws in a pattern. Again, this has helped my husband finds any flaws in a display. Third, collecting may forge a commitment to a good cause. For example, a person who collects elephant figurines may become aware of the elephants’ plight in the wild and make moves to help preserve and advocate preservation of the elephants. Lastly, when collectors are kids, the act of collecting could lead to a future career. For instance, if a child collects rocks, he or she might grow up to be a geologist. Or a child who loves animals and collects plush toys or figurines, may grow up to be a vet or a zoologist or a marine biologist.

In conclusion, if you were to ask any collector regardless of what they collect, their answers might be similar. They find joy and happiness in collecting. It would be joy from childhood or happiness in gathering items of meaning. It is the thrill of finding a particular item to complete a set and the subject of the collection may have special meaning or symbolism to the individual. Collecting benefits the brain and enhances abilities in other areas of life. Collecting enhances someone’s life in ways that benefits them. In my opinion, everyone collects something, some just don’t realize it.  

P.S. the pictures featuring my husband's collection is only a small fraction of his entire collection

Is it the game or the parenting?

                Like most children of the 1980s, I grew up playing video games. We had the Nintendo NES and we played the now classic games: Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda, and Duck Hunt just to name of few. With the rise in school shootings, video games have come under fire for their source of violence. Video games have been studied since the 1980s and no concrete evidence has come to light that points directly to video games as the source of the rise in violence. Many lawmakers including Senator Diane Feinstein are pushing for the video game industry to voluntarily avoid glorifying guns and gun violence and if they are unwilling to so do, Congress is ready to take action (Huffington Post 4/4/2013). I don’t advocated banning video games because when you do so, you just create a black market for it and when someone wants the banned item, they will get it. We saw that with the Cold War when East Germany banned Western music, East German still were listening to it. Prohibition is another example of banning an item does not get rid of the desire for the item.

                Unfortunately, the evidence that points to video games as the increase in violence is correlational at best. One study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research stated that when accounting for pre-existing emotional, family and social issues, any aggression-increasing effects of playing violent video games had disappeared. Another study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence stated that current findings did not support the popular belief that violent video games increase aggression in youths. Federal crime statistics actually show that serious violent crimes among youths have decreased since 1996 while video game sales have increased. It would be hard to find a young man who did not play games at all. According to the Entertainment Software Association (ESA) in 2011, the average gamer is 30 years old with 12 years playing experience. 82% of gamers are 18 and older, 42% are women 18 and older and 29% are over 50. The majority of gamers aren’t youths at all, they are adults!

                The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) has a rating system similar to the film ratings which notify the consumer of the maturity level based on the content:

·         Early Childhood (EC): young children

·         Everyone (E): minimal cartoon, fantasy or mild violence and or infrequent use of mild language

·         Everyone 10+ (E 10+): same as Everyone rating but more suitable for players 10 and older

·         Teen (T): violence, suggestive themes, crude humor, minimal blood, simulated gambling and or infrequent use of strong language, suitable for 13 and older

·         Mature (M): intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content and or strong language, suitable for 17 and older)

·         Adults Only (AO): prolonged scenes of intense violence, graphic sexual content and or gambling with real currency, restricted to those 18 and older.

However, the ratings only work when parents pay attention to or even care about the content. I’ve seen many children who have games that their parents gave them that they probably shouldn’t have. But if the parents allow them to play the game, who am I to tell them that they can’t have it?

                In the book, Everything Bad Is Good for You, Steven Johnson challenges the popular belief that video games are a mind-numbing addiction. According to Johnson, video games demand more from players than most traditional board games. Players have to determine objectives and how to achieve them, learn the controls and navigating and eventually mastering a highly complex system with countless variables. I know personally that many games especially role playing games (RPGs) are very complex. I’ve started many and only finished a few. My brother, who is an avid player, will take months to finish one game because of all the extra side journeys a character can take outside of the main quest. He will often play the game again, changing even one decision will alter the game play and change the course the character will experience. RPGs requires strong analytical ability, strong flexibility and adaptability and strong patience and focus. Johnson also challenges the popular perception that video games give instant gratification when in fact because many RPGs take so long to complete, it may actually delay gratification. Some RPGs I’ve seen are actually designed to never truly be over because of the different quests one can take.

                Bottom line is parents need to be aware of what their children are being exposed to whether it’s video games, television, music, etc. And if they don’t approve or they see the type of effect the exposure has, restrict their access. I know it’s easier said than done but better to attempt to do something than face the questions later. I can think of a few examples where my mom didn’t approve of what was on T.V. and restricted it but we still watched it when she was gone. It is easier today than it was 30 years ago to set parental controls to ensure that children follow their parents’ viewing restrictions. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen where evil will always exists and we need to be diligent. No solution is going to completely solve the problems, Individuals who have predisposition for violence will find other outlets and enact violence on others. Video games have been in American home since 1975 with the popularity of Atari and I think they are here to stay.