Ask me about my uterus: one woman's journey to seek answers for her pain

Ask Me about My Uterus: A Quest to Make Doctor’s Believe in Women’s Pain by Abby Norman is her own journey through a painful past to deal with a painful medical condition which many doctors do not fully understand. As a young college student, Ms. Norman began to experience painful, stabbing cramps that would keep her bed ridden for days. She is finally diagnosed with endometriosis, a condition which isn’t fully understood even with today’s medical technology and knowledge. Ms. Norman discusses the journey of women’s medical knowledge through the ages and even in psychology as it was thought that women’s pains and conditions were caused by hysteria originating in the uterus. Does she ever get the answers she’s looking for? What can doctors learn by listening more closely to their female patients?

I originally chose this book because I know many women who suffer from conditions with no real explanations or solutions, who still struggle to find answers. I expected this book to be so much more than it was. I thought she would focus on her journey for answers and help other women reading her story to fight for their answers. However, she tended to focus more on her troubled and horrific childhood. There are a few statements Ms. Norman makes which I don’t agree with or question the age of such knowledge. At one point, she makes the claim that women are more likely to be given sedatives after surgery and men are given painkillers. I’m not sure where she got this information, as she doesn’t give any references that I saw, but this has not been my experience with surgery at all. However, it is a disturbing thought to think about if it is true for even one female patient in pain. I recommend Ask Me about My Uterus: A Quest to Make Doctor’s Believe in Women’s Pain as a tool, inspiration to help women confront their doctors to listen more closely.

Ask me about My Uterus:

A Quest to Make Doctor’s Believer in Woman’s Pain

is available in hardcover and eBook

Collecting: more than just gathering stuff

Collection is the act or process of accumulating something. Items from very inexpensive to extravagant. People collect many different things. My husband and I are collectors. It is one of the many things we have in common. For many of our friends and even his co-workers do not understand the drive behind collecting. The desire to collect can originate in many different ways. For many collectors, it falls into three categories, childhood memories and connections. It is the thrill of the hunt for new items. Or the special meaning or symbolism in the subject of the collection. There are many benefits to the brain when someone has a collection.

For many collectors, the joy of collecting stems from their childhood memories. My husband who primarily collects Star Wars action figures and memorabilia. It first began when he was 4 or 5 years ago when someone gave him a Ewok playset and the Cantina playset. However. The bulk of his collection started when he was 17. It’s the memory of getting those playsets as a child which drives his love of collecting. Many of my collection started when I was a teenager. My Coca-Cola collection started when I bought a Coca-Cola bottle with the Argentinean flag on it. It was 1994 World Cup and I thought it was cool. The one bottle turned into a lifetime collection. I’ve also been a long time collector of Precious Memories figurines. I collect pieces which are cute or have a special meaning for me at the time. For instance, one of my favorite pieces is called “Together is the nicest place to be” and it features a couple relaxing on the couch. It was given to me by my husband early in our marriage and it symbolizes exacting how I feel. It does matter what we are doing or where we are, when my husband and I are together is where I want to be.

Another source of joy of collecting is the thrill of the hunt. This is particularly true for my husband. There is a local hobby show called Frank and Sons. It is a large warehouse with individual booths inside where collectors can browse a wide range of collectibles for sale or even trade. Usually when a particular action figure is difficult to find in local retail stores, my husband can go to Frank and Sons and find it. He will look over the piece with a very critical eye, looking for flaws. There could be flaws in the paint, in the sculpting, or in the packaging. He’ll look over the figure while considering the asking price and make a decision about his counteroffer. He is also really good at bargaining with the seller. After a little back and forth, he and the seller will come to a deal which sometimes includes another figure for a lower price. The thrill of looking for the piece, finding the piece and then negotiating a price and the satisfaction when the piece is included in the collection is the satisfaction that comes with collecting.

For some collectors the items they collect have a special meaning or symbolism in their lives. The meaning or symbolism could be what the animal represents or it could have a connection to a loved one who has passed. I have many collections which has special meaning or symbolism to me. I recently started collect owls. In one year, I have quite a collection already. Owls symbolize wisdom and knowledge. I’ve always loved learning. I continue to teach myself new things all the time, so the owl seems to fit my personality. I have also thought owls to beautiful creatures. I’ve also collected wolves since high school. Wolves are another beautiful and majestic creature. Wolves symbolize a strong knowledge and instincts about oneself. Like with owls, I have felt a strong connection with wolves.  I also collect certain animals to represent my children especially my children who have passed. If you’ve read my blog before you know that I lost three children to miscarriage or premature birth. Each animal has a special connection to my children so that I can carry a piece of them with me. It doesn’t matter if anyone else doesn’t understand the symbolism, I do and it is a comfort.

There are many benefits to the brain when someone collects items as a hobby. First, collecting builds observational skills. A collector becomes more cognizant for details and becomes a better finder and seeker for items. For example, my husband’s ability to find the tiniest flaw on an action figure has helped him develop the ability to construct the display case at work which is appealing and inviting. Second, collecting improves organizational skills and enhances pattern recognition. A collection is often organized by shape, size, genre, series, and so on. Organizing the collection into categories enhances the ability to recognize common characteristics and detect gaps or flaws in a pattern. Again, this has helped my husband finds any flaws in a display. Third, collecting may forge a commitment to a good cause. For example, a person who collects elephant figurines may become aware of the elephants’ plight in the wild and make moves to help preserve and advocate preservation of the elephants. Lastly, when collectors are kids, the act of collecting could lead to a future career. For instance, if a child collects rocks, he or she might grow up to be a geologist. Or a child who loves animals and collects plush toys or figurines, may grow up to be a vet or a zoologist or a marine biologist.

In conclusion, if you were to ask any collector regardless of what they collect, their answers might be similar. They find joy and happiness in collecting. It would be joy from childhood or happiness in gathering items of meaning. It is the thrill of finding a particular item to complete a set and the subject of the collection may have special meaning or symbolism to the individual. Collecting benefits the brain and enhances abilities in other areas of life. Collecting enhances someone’s life in ways that benefits them. In my opinion, everyone collects something, some just don’t realize it.  

P.S. the pictures featuring my husband's collection is only a small fraction of his entire collection

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: a memoir of a different type of childhood

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls is a memoir about her childhood and life with her parents. Her parents, Rex and Rose Mary Walls, were dreamers who set out to have a life beyond the dictates of society. Ms. Walls retells the adventures and missteps of her childhood.

The book opens with adult Jeannette seeing her homeless mother on the street, rummaging though the trash. Hoping that she’s not spotting, she runs back to her safe apartment. Ashamed that she ran from her mother, she opens up on how her mother ended up on the street. The Walls’ family’s life as they lived in various places of the southwest and eventually a small town in coal country of West Virginia. The Walls children go through various injuries that would seem extreme to anyone else but to her parents, they were battle scars of life and they would learn and survive. The family had the habit of picking up and leaving in the middle of the night. They lived like nomads, moving from place to place, only leaving when they got caught or were in danger of getting caught. Caught for what? Jeannette’s dad always told fantastical stories about why they had to run, mostly in entertain the children.

The Glass Castle is her father’s impossible dream. His dream of a big house in the desert with glass ceiling and walls with solar panels. Her father always had a “get rich quick” schemes. Her parents’ relationship was volatile fueled by alcohol and disappointment. As the children grow and learn to see their parents’ lives and lies for what they were. They find the strength within themselves to better themselves. Eventually all the children would make it to New York City. There, they would graduate high school, college and begins their careers. All the while their parents live their lives as they always have, on the edge of society, taking with little giving and making promises that cannot be delivered.

I enjoyed reading The Glass Castle, although there were sometimes I thought this can’t be possible but then I’ve heard stranger stories. Jeannette Walls’ story is told with brutal honest and love. As you read, you see the world through the wonderment of a 3 year old eyes to the critical eye of an adult. You get that the parents’ loved their children and they did their best in their education and their care. They just couldn’t or didn’t want to live the conventional life that everyone else did.

“Life is a drama full of tragedy and comedy. 

You should learn to enjoy the comic episodes a little more” 

–Rose Mary Walls

The House at Sugar Beach: a review

Recently, I was given a book, “The House at Sugar Beach” by Helene Cooper. Ms. Cooper was born in Liberia and was raised there until the military coup in 1980. The book is her memoir of her childhood and life after leaving Liberia after the coup.
Her story starts in 1973 when her father, John Cooper Jr. built a “22 room behemoth” house in Sugar Beach, a community on the Atlantic Coast, 11 miles outside of Monrovia. Her family are descendants of Congo people, the freed American slaves who chose to return to Africa and found Liberia in 1822. According to Ms. Cooper, “Congo” is a derogatory term from the native Liberia and the Congo people called the natives “County People.” Her family tree is deep in Liberia’s history on both sides as well as its government officials. Her family had wealth and prestige while most of the country lived in third world conditions.
When Ms. Cooper was 11 years old, her family took in a foster daughter as a companion for her. Eunice was native Liberian from the Bassa group. Ms. Cooper goes into great details about her childhood and growing up in Liberia. She also gives a great deal of the history of Liberia. The details gives the reader an understanding about the rising tensions between the Congo and the native peoples.
April 14, 1979, the first battle in the rising of the natives. It was a small skirmish but it showed the evidence that tempers were rising. The Country people were fighting for change. President Tolbert began to implement a plan that was trying to make Liberia self-sufficient and less dependent on foreign goods. The result was prices and inflation skyrocketing. The government sponsored ads to tell the people it was all okay. It didn’t work and riots broke out. One year almost to the day of the first battle, a group of native Liberians stormed the Executive Mansion, killing the president and put is wife and children under house arrest.  Ms. Cooper’s mother would take her and her little sister, Marlene, to the U.S. Life began in the U.S. in Tennessee where Ms. Cooper struggled to fit in with anyone. To the Black community, she wasn’t black enough. She would soon move to North Carolina to be with her father as her mother moves back to Liberia in order to collect rents due to the family. There Ms. Cooper found her niche and joined the school newspaper. She decided on a career in journalism and would attended the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill.
As she began her journalism career, she began to realize the depths of despair that her home country had fallen. Coup after coup overthrew the previous government and the country sunk lower and lower. She thought about all the people she left behind especially her foster sister, Eunice. She makes it her mission to go back to Liberia and find Eunice.
Ms. Cooper’s memoir is a fast read about a young girl who would learn world politics when most children aren’t aware there is a world outside their hometown. She gives great insight into a country I knew little about. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested learning about a country and a young girl who grew up there.