Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Friday, May 19, 2023

Reluctantly Home: sometimes going home reveals a new perspective

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark is a story of dealing with the past in order to face the future. Pip Appleby seemingly had it all. It all ends when a tragic accident occurs and she is haunted by the accident. She retreats to her family’s farm and struggles to find her path again. When she discovers the diary of actress Evelyn Mountcastle in a box of old books, Pip is pulled into Evelyn’s words. As she reads, she discovers parallels between her life and Evelyn’s and she becomes intrigued by Evelyn and tries to discover more information about her. When their paths cross in real life, they begin to reveal secrets that they have been hiding about their respective stories. As they reveal their secrets, can they discover a way to forgive themselves for the past and find a possible future? 

Reluctantly Home is my second book by Imogen Clark and I expected an emotional book and it delivered. Considering the question of how does one move forward from a tragedy? How does one move on from your role in an accident? Pip struggles with these questions. While her head is telling her she is not at fault, her heart struggles accepting that truth. She is also dealing with the dual identities she has created for herself and how she can feel whole again. The story is a slow build as Pip drags her feet about her future. When she reaches out to Evelyn, she finds a perspective she hadn’t seen before or maybe didn’t want to see. I enjoyed Pip’s growth as she realized who she truly is and who she wants to be in the future. I recommend Reluctantly Home


Reluctantly Home is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook. 


Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Invisible: a hard hitting story of personal and spiritual growth

Invisible is the first book in the Mendocino Village series by Ginny L. Yttrup. In a small town of Mendocino in Northern California, three women find their lives intertwined and challenge the hurts they hide behind. Ellyn DeMoss is a chef, cafe owner and an overweight woman. While she sees the good in others, she only sees the worst in herself. When Dr Miles Becker, the handsome widower, shows interest in her, she simply cannot believe it. Who would be attracted to an overweight woman? Sabina Jackson is hiding in Mendocino. She left her husband and young adult daughters behind in Georgia as she comes to heal, or so she says. Heal from what? Twila is a young woman with a troubled past. She is coming out of hiding and working on gaining back all she has lost. Can she figure out the triggers that keep her from reaching her goals? 

Invisible is a hard hitting story of personal hurts, grief, guilt and struggles. At the beginning, I could tell this story would be a doozy! This story blew me away! I immediately related with Ellyn as a woman who felt unlovable and unattractive to men. She had a horrible inner voice that fueled her self-loathing. Sabina is a woman running, overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and unsure how to move forward. Twila is a young woman who identifies where she has gone wrong and yet still struggles moving forward. This story is filled with God moments, faith and spiritual growth that holds powerful messages for readers. We are all made in His Image for His divine purpose and we are greatly and fiercely loved! My heart broke for these women and I cheered as they made strives toward a brighter future. I highly, highly recommend Invisible


Invisible is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook


Friday, March 10, 2023

The Goodbye Storm: the topsy turvy road of grief

The Goodbye Storm by Danielle Stewart is the first book in the Rough Waters series. A story of grief, guilt and finding the strength to move forward. On an icy road and a dark night, two cars collided and lives were changed forever. Grief is a beast that is not easily chased off as Autumn Chase knows all too well. Since losing her beloved husband, Charlie, in a car accident, she has been hiding from the world. Noah Key lost his wife in that same accident. As an emergency room doctor, he has been on the opposite side of devastating news, however, nothing prepares him to hear that news himself. Noah devotes himself to working just enough hours to forget that his wife is gone, hoping that work and exhaustion will keep him from remembering. As life goes on around them, can Autumn and Noah learn to survive the storm? Or will they be destroyed by it? 

Danielle Stewart knows how to write emotionally charged stories and The Goodbye Storm is no exception. The Goodbye Storm gives a peek into the raging storm that is grief for those who haven’t yet experienced it and gives comfort to those who have. Grief is a highly personal experience as demonstrated by Autumn’s and Noah’s reactions to the deaths of their spouses and both struggles with this new normal. While Noah shuts everyone out, Autumn risks hurt again by opening up to new people and discovers a necessary support system she didn’t know she needed. I enjoyed all the characters, especially Jamie and Travis. My heart broke for Autumn as she experiences the topsy turvy road that is grief as well as for Noah, as he spirals out of control. It is an emotional story with an emotional ending. Definitely a tear jerker and I look forward to reading the rest of the series. I highly recommend The Goodbye Storm


The Goodbye Storm is available in paperback and eBook


Sunday, December 4, 2022

The Season of Silver Linings: wrapping up the Sweet Lake series

The Season of Silver Linings  is the third book in the Sweet Lake series by Christine Nolfi. Jada Brooks is the pastry chef at the Wayfair Inn that her friends, Linnie and Cat, have brought from the brink and restored it to its former glory. While Linnie is focused on her upcoming wedding and Cat is basking in the glow of newly wedded bliss, Jada focuses on her role at the inn. She has a love/hate relationship with Philip Kettering, a widower with a six-year-old daughter. That love/hate relationship turns into a blooming romance as they decide to take a chance on love. But she has one secret, a secret that could tear them apart once and for all. When a guest checks into the inn, asking very curious questions, Jada is forced to confront the past she would rather forget. 

I have enjoyed the Sweet Lake series; however, The Season of Silver Linings was not my favorite of the series. Although I enjoyed Jada and Philip and their romance, I didn’t care for Philip’s daughter, Fancy. Fancy is a very precocious, bossy, and at times, annoying six year old. Then there are the Sirens with their hearts in the right place; but their actions would be very frustrating. There was a bit of a mystery as to who the guest with the curious questions was; however, it was a mystery that came clear to me before it was clear to the characters. I appreciate that Ms Nolfi handles difficult topics with heart and great care. In The Season of Silver Linings, the topics of mental illness, suicide and the effects on relationships are explored. Overall, I did enjoy and recommend The Season of Silver Linings along with the first two books. 


The Season of Silver Linings is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook


Books 1 and 2: Sweet Lake and The Comfort of Secrets

are available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook


Sunday, May 22, 2022

The Ghostwriter: where there is one last story to tell

The Ghostwriter by A.R. Torre is a story of a world famous, bestselling romance author with a deep and haunting secret. Four years ago, Helena Parks lied. She lied in front of the police, her friends and family, and told a story. Her best one yet because they all believed her. With fifteen bestsellers and millions of fans, she shouldn’t be surprised. After a terminal diagnosis, Helena has one last story to tell. The one she has been keeping secret all these years. It will have a jaw-dropping twist that no one will see coming. But she needs help. She enlists a ghostwriter. Another bestselling author, Marka Vantly. The two authors have been fierce competitors and rivals for many years. Helena feels that Marka is the only writer with the ability to capture the darkness. She may already be dying physically, but this story will be the one to kill her soul. 

From the back cover synopsis, A.R. Torre warns readers that this book “is not a romance” as A.R. Torre also writes romances under the name Alessandra Torre. It is described as suspenseful with dark secrets and wow, does it deliver! From the very beginning, Helena tells readers that they don’t know the whole story, no one really does. She is determined to reveal the truth after her death and she does it in the firm of one last book. She enlists her rival, Marka, and the two begin the process of writing her last story. The most painful and darkest story yet. Helena is a woman filled with grief, pain and guilt. She has created a harsh and eccentric façade in order to protect her secret. I enjoyed the development of her relationship with Marka. This story kept me guessing and I was on the edge of my seat until the end! I highly recommend The Ghostwriter


The Ghostwriter is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook. 




Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Side Trip: when a road trip becomes life changing

Side Trip by Kerry Lonsdale is a story of . With her deceased sister’s Route 66 bucket list in hand, Joy Evers sets out from California on a cross-country road trip to meet up with her fiancé in New York. She’s determined to check off each item as she goes. During a stop in a Ludlow diner, she meets Dylan. Dylan Westfield is a singer-songwriter on a trip of his own. Unfortunately, his car has broken down. They strike a deal. She’ll drive him to New York and he’ll pay for gas. They have three rules: no exchanging of last names, what happens on the road, stays on the road, and if one of them wants a side trip, they both must agree. They find they are complete opposites. Joy is energetic. Dylan is moody. Joy believes in love at first sight and Dylan thinks love is a complicated mess. Soon, they realize that they are both hiding secrets and their motivations. Will they find the peace they hope to find on the road? Will they be able to leave the events of the road trip behind? 

I love Kerry Lonsdale’s books and I heard great things about Side Trip. From the very beginning, I was hooked on Joy’s mission to complete the trip her sister never could. Dylan’s mission was a bit more of a mystery. I enjoyed the back and forth between Joy and Dylan’s perspectives as well as the “Before” chapter which occurs on the road and the “After” chapters when the trip is over and their lives go on as planned. Or does it? Can Joy and Dylan really leave what happens on the road, on the road? I didn’t really have an emotional reaction until the second to last chapter when the reader finds out what happens for Joy and Dylan. I feel the last chapter and the epilogue were unnecessary and undid the emotional impact of that one chapter. The secret Joy was hiding was all too easy to figure out as it has been done before. Overall, I did enjoy the story, especially the spontaneous moments on the road. I do recommend Side Trip as a fun road trip story.

 

Side Trip is available in paperback, eBook, audiobook. 


Saturday, September 21, 2019

Land of Silence: a fictionalized story of one woman's journey to Jesus and ultimate healing


Land of Silence by Tessa Afshar is the story of Elianna, a young girl torn apart by guilt. When her younger brother, the pride and joy of her family, dies while under her care, Elianna seeks forgiveness by working in her father’s textile trade and caring for her grieving parents and younger sister. She finds herself in the sole charge of the business, her talent for design brings amazing success; however, despite her success and work ethic, she doesn’t receive the forgiveness she seeks. As her world unravels, she breaks off her engagement with a man she loves, sacrificing her feelings so that he can find a wife worth of him. Illness strikes, leaving her at the misery of doctors with different cures but to no avail. Soon she is isolating from everyone and everything she loves as Jewish law dictates. Soon whispers of a man who heals sweeps through the land. Can this Jesus be the answer to her healing? Can she finally find the life she always dreamed of?


Land of Silence is a fictionalized story of the woman who suffered from a bleeding issue. Her encounter with Jesus is told in Matthew 9:20-22; Mark 5:25-34, and Luke 8:43-48. All we know of her is what happens during her encounter with Jesus but what lead her to this state of desperation? A bleeding issue would have put her on the fringes of Jewish society as bleeding made her unclean. What happened to her after she is healed by Jesus? Ms. Afshar writes an amazing story of guilt, struggles, redemption and freedom that forgiveness can bring. At times you will sympathize with Elianna and other times you want to shake her and tell her to stop being so stubborn. I liked that everything about her changed after her encounter with Jesus. Her demeanor, her attitude and her outlook on her life and her future changed. I highly recommend Land of Silence.

Land of Silence
is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Stars in the Grass: a story of life after a tragedy

Stars in the Grass by Ann Marie Stewart is the story of nine year old Abby McAndrews and her family. While on vacation in the summer of 1970, the family suffers a devastating loss which lives the family scrambling to learn to live in this new life. Her mother, Renee, seems determine to grieve and move on. Her father, John, seems stuck in that moment and refuses to return to his life and job as before. Her older brother, Matt, begins down a destructive path. And Abby is trying to makes sense of everything around her as well as process her own grief and sense of guilt. Told in a year’s time, the family goes through the holidays and community events trying to live life as before. With each passing day, the family tensions grow more and more until the threat of explosion is imminent. Can the family come together and heal? Or will they be torn apart by their grief?


Stars in the Grass is a story of grief and healing. Even though it takes place in 1970/1971, the story could easily happen today. The different responses to grief are very real and the pain seems to leap off the page straight to the reader’s heart. The reader will ache with the Renee, John, Matt and Abby as they try to make sense of what happen. The reader will cry tears of sadness with the family and they will laugh with them as they seem to come to grips with their new reality. I recommend Stars in the Grass as a story of grief and healing in the face of unspeakable tragedy and how those around you can help you heal.

Stars in the Grass
is available today
on Amazon in paperback and on Kindle
and

on Barnes and Noble in paperback and on Nook

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Emotional Eating: recognizing it and moving forward

Emotional eating is the tendency to eat in times of stress, anxiety, anger or sadness in order to deal with the situation. With emotional eating, an individual will suppress emotions with food instead of facing them. In recent months, I have taken a closer look at my eating habits. I realize now that I am an emotional eater. I tend to eat or not eat based on my emotions. If I’m angry or anxious or depressed, I don’t eat. I overeat when I feel guilty for eating the wrong foods. I also look for food when I’m bored. With this revelation, I was curious to discover more about emotional eating and what I can do to fight it.


First, recognize the difference between emotional eating and physical hunger. Emotional eating has a sudden onset while physical hunger is gradual. Emotional eating tends to crave certain foods, like sweets, and with physical hunger any food sounds good. Mindless eating is a clue to emotional eating and awareness with physical hunger. After emotional eating, there is no satisfaction once full and physical hunger, there is satisfaction. Emotional eating is often inside your head instead of your stomach. And most important, after emotional eating, there is often string sense of guilt, shame and regret. My biggest time for emotional eating is the idea of food is often inside my head. I’ll wake up at night with the thought that I am hungry. Often times I can fight it. I get up, go to the bathroom, get a drink of water and lay down again and fall asleep. Other times the thought is like a song that wouldn’t end. For instance, last night I woke up with the overwhelming desire to have a piece of cake that my sister baked for my mom’s birthday. The cake wasn’t gluten free and I knew the consequences if I ate it. Ate it anyway I did. This morning I woke up sick to my stomach. Due to the gluten or my guilt and shame? I think it was both.


Second, recognize the triggers which can bring on emotional eating. Stress is a big trigger for many emotional eaters. The need to temporarily silence emotions is another trigger. The need to avoid feelings of anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, resentment and shame. Eating can be used to hide boredom or loneliness. Have you ever been home with nothing to do and you go to the kitchen thinking “I must be hungry.” And you eat simply to give you something to do? Emotional eating also can be from childhood habits. This is my biggest trigger. Growing up in a single-parent family, we didn’t have a lot of treats. So candy, chips and other treats were uncommon. When these treats were in the house or I was somewhere these were available, I hoarded. I ate mindlessly because I didn’t know when I would have them again. Instead of savoring the chance to have such treats, I gorged myself to the point that I would become sick and eventually overweight. You may eat to avoid conflict or conversation. Triggers can be one or all of the above. One method to figure out what your triggers are is to keep a food diary. Write down when you eat, how much you eat, what you eat, how hungry you were and what your feelings or moods were when you ate. Whatever one’s triggers may be, recognizing them is the next step to avoid eating because of them.


Once one has recognized the difference between emotional eating and physical and recognizes the triggers which brings on emotional eating, the next step is to figure out ways to combat the urge for emotional eating. In my research, stress management techniques such as yoga, meditation and deep breathing have helped calm urges. You can give yourself a hunger check: “Am I really hungry? Or am I bored, tired, etc.?” For me, if I’m not willing to fix food, then I am not hungry. If I’m looking for something to grab and eat, then I’m not really hungry. Having a great support systems through friends, family or even a support group is a great way to combat the urges. Having someone to call or reach out to in times of loneliness or depression can help relieve the urge to eat to suppress those emotions. Find an activity that you fill your time if boredom is a trigger or an outlet to relive the urge. A few examples could be exercise, crafts, in my case reading and writing. It is important not to derive yourself. Allow yourself a treat once in a while but focus on healthy eating habits. It is also important to forgive yourself for setbacks. Pick yourself up, brush it off and start fresh. You could even write down what to avoid in the future to keep a certain setback from happening again.


In conclusion, there are many great resources out there to help with emotional eating. I only touched on a few methods to combat emotional eating. The Mayo Clinic website is a great resources and your doctor can probably direct you to some support groups or other methods in your area. Bottom line is you are your greatest enemy as well as your greatest cheerleader. Your inner monologue will help or hurt you if you are listening. Being able to change those thoughts, get help and support when you need it and don’t allow failure to defeat you. You will falter sometimes. The important things is learn from the experience, pick yourself up and start over. For me, I realize that avoiding emotional eating is going to be a lifelong commitment. However, I know that I am not alone in my struggle and I will get better.

Resources:

Normal Eating: an online support group http://normaleating.com/supportgroup.php

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

One Chance, One Moment: a story of romance, drama and mystery

One Chance, One Moment by Judith Kohner is book one in The Mandy   is the story of Amanda Fields, a nurse who is hired to rehabilitate Garry Danzlo, a famous musician after he was in a horrific accident.


The story opens on the day of Garry’s father’s funeral. Garry is conflicted by his father because Jonathan Danzlo left his family when Garry was a child and before his sister, Melissa was born. Unable to deal with his guilt and sorrow, Garry takes off and gets into a terrible accident. After four months, Garry is still bedridden and has fired the latest nurse hired for his care. He is depressed that his career is over and his guilt about his father’s death. Amanda Fields is recovering from her husband’s murder as well as being accused of the crime. She is approached by Garry’s sister to help Garry and Amanda takes the job for a change of scenery and she needs the money to get her life back on track. Soon the attraction between the two becomes apparent but standing in their way is Garry’s selfish and conniving girlfriend, Daphne and Eddie, Amanda’s friend who is a little more sinister than Amanda seems to realize.


I loved the flirty development of the romance between Garry and Amanda. I love the teasing attraction that left the reader eagerly waiting for more, hoping for the moment when Garry and Amanda will finally admit their attraction and make that more toward a romantic relationship. I enjoyed all the characters who had a part to play in the development of the story. Daphne is a great character to hate and despise. You will cheer when she finally gets put in her place. This book has drama, romance, and mystery. I highly recommend this book and can’t wait to finish the series.

One Chance, One Moment by Judith Kohner is available

On Amazon on the Kindle for $3.95 and in paperback for $14.95

Monday, April 21, 2014

"Maine" by J. Courtney Sullivan: a review


“Maine” by J. Courtney Sullivan is the story of the Kelleher women who gather together one summer in Maine. Each woman brings with them past family issues and current family secrets. Each chapter is told from the prospective of one of the Kelleher women: Alice, Kathleen, Maggie and Ann Marie.
            Alice is the matriarch of the Kelleher. She is an old school Irish Catholic with old prejudices and deep secrets of guilt and pain. Alice hides her guilt with alcohol instead of revealing the pain and regret that she carries with her. Her alcohol problem contributes to her inability to loving raise her children. She refuses to take reasonability for her actions which has caused pain for her children. Her husband, Daniel, was the glue that kept the family together and since his death the family seems further and further apart.
            Kathleen is Alice’s oldest daughter who is divorced and a recovering alcoholic. She has deep hatred toward her mother about family incidents. Kathleen has faced her own alcoholic demons and has done well to move on with her life. She is considered the black sheep of the family. The one who got divorced, moved in with her boyfriend and started a worm fertilizer farm in California. Despite being very successful, the family makes fun her new endeavor.
            Maggie is Kathleen’s daughter. A young woman who is writer for a magazine and is working on her first novel. She is pregnant and has yet to tell anyone. She is the typical oldest child of a divorce family. She has learned to be the peacemaker and wants to get to the bottom of every conflict despite the family’s desires to brush it under the rug. She struggles with the realization that she will be raising her child on her own and she drives into the preparation with determination and excitement.
            Ann Marie is Alice’s daughter-in-law, married to Alice’s only son and favorite child, Patrick. Ann Marie is the daughter Alice always wanted. She, too, had secrets of her own and desires that go beyond her husband and the life they now have. She has found success building dollhouses which her husband does not take seriously even when she gets a very big surprise about one of her dollhouses.
            The story begins with Alice cleaning out the beach house in Cape Neddick, Maine. She is remembering how she and her husband had acquired the beach property and built their home there. Each chapter deals with a segment of the woman’s past as a part of the family and away from the family. Slowly, each chapter reveals a bit of the secret that Alice refuses to tell anyone. Although the reader does find out Alice’s deep secret, the characters do not. I can’t reveal too much because it will give away the surprises in the book. As each secret is revealed, the bitterness and guilt of Alice will become clearer.

            I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The characters and their various issues felt real and don’t resolve in a nice little bow. I find myself relating the Maggie because I, too, am the oldest child in a divorced family and I took on many of the roles that Maggie does. I was the peacemaker and tried to make everyone happy so there was peace in our house. I highly recommend “Maine” by J. Courtney Sullivan. It keeps your attention without being overly dramatic and it’s true to real life problems and family issues.