Scars are the results of the biological process of wound
repair in the skin and other tissues. Some scars are unsightly and there are
countless of oils, ointments and medical procedures to remove them. Some of us
carry psychological scars. The emotional scars that no one sees and yet the
person who bears them feels their presence every day of their lives. Recently,
I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds called “The Slave of Duty” where in
the end, David Rossi responds to a colleague’s comment that one doesn’t survive
without a few scars. He says, “Scars remind us where we’ve been. They don’t
have to dictate where we’re going.” I greatly admire the people who are able to
take their scars and become greater than they were before.
The people who survive use their scars to remind themselves
of the battles they’ve gone through, to remind themselves how far they’ve come.
Carly Simon once said that “a really strong woman accepts the war she went through
and is ennobled by her scars.” Meaning? A survivor is proud of his or her scars
and said “yes I lived through this and here I am.” I can think of countless of
men and women who despite their scars stood up and said I’m not going to let
this slow me down. J.R. Martinez was a U.S. Army infantryman in Iraq when he
suffered severe burns to 34% of his body. This fire left him severely burned
and disfigured but did it stop him? No, he went on to become a motivational
speaker, actor and he won Season 13 of Dancing with the Stars. Another
inspirational survivor is Amy Purdy. She lost both legs below the knee due to
an infection stemming from Neisseria meningitis. She would also lose both
kidneys and received a transplant from her father. She would later win a Bronze
medal in snowboarding at the 2014 Sochi Olympics and win 2nd place
in Season 18 of Dancing with the Stars. These two people could have just sat
down and played the pity party but they knew they were meant for something
greater.
I have my own scars. Scars that are physical as well as
emotional. I share the story behind each scar as a testament that your scars do
not have to dictate the life you lead. I may not be living high on the hog with
no worries or stress but I live. Each morning, I thank the Lord for another
beautiful day. I take care of my daughter and marvel on how fast she is
growing. I take care of my home and prepare meals for my family. I spend time
with them and enjoy the moments we have together before life intervenes again.
As M.L. Stedmen writes in her book,
The
Light between Oceans, “Scars are just another kind of memory.” A painful
memory, yes but a memory all the same. We can chose how those memories will
play out in our lives. Will we stand up and say, “despite these scars, I’m
going to live my life to the fullest?” Or will we say, “I can’t because I’ve
been too scarred?” I hope that it’s the latter because, as author Rodney A
Winters writes “scars are not signs of weakness, they are signs of survival and
endurance.” Let your scars be your motivation to rise above your past, to rise
above the pain and hurt and become something greater than you were before.
