What does it mean to honor your parents?

What does it truly mean to “honor thy mother and thy father” as stated in Exodus 20:12? Honor is to regard in high respect or esteem. For a young child, obeying your parents is a part of honoring them. When a child listens to, heeds, and submits to his or her parents’ authority, it is honoring them. However, how do you honor your parents when you become an adult? There are some people who interpret this verse as a means that children can never disobey a parent. A child must always do what a parent says even as an adult. Many will fail to seek the out the meaning in the original language in which the command was given. I will discuss common misinterpretations of the commandment as well as the Hebrew word used in the commandment. I will also discuss how to honor parents who are less than honorable.

According to the Matthew Henry Commentary, to honor thy mother and thy father is to “esteem them, shown in our conduct; obedience to their lawful commands.” Essentially, the commentary is stating that children are to come when they are called, do what you are bidden, refrain from what they forbid you, and submit to their counsels and corrections. However, is there a situation in which a child does not need to honor their parents with obedience? Yes! If a parent ever asks a child to do something which contradicts God’s law, the child must obey God’s law first rather than his parents. Acts 5:29 states “But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.” In the case of a child disobeying a parent in reverence to God is Jonathan. His father, King Saul, was determined to kill David, God’s anointed king of Israel. And Jonathan knew this was wrong and prevented his father from succeeding (1 Samuel 20:30-34).

In order to examine what God means when He commands that we honor our parents, we must first look at the Hebrew word in the text. In Hebrew, the word, kabed, is used in commandment. It is defined as be heavy, weighty, grievous, hard, rich, glorious, burdensome suggesting a sense of “giving weight to.” The nuance here is important, according to Walter Brueggemann, professor at Columbia Theological Seminary, “the command does not advocate obeying or being subordinate but treating parents with appropriate seriousness” (ProYouth Pages). According to Rabbi Nachum Amsel, honor is a poor translation of the word, kabed. The translation should be dignity. Therefore, we are commanded to dignify our parents and help them keep their dignity. Dignity is defined as the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect and a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect. To maintain a parent’s dignity is to respect them in a manner which doesn’t diminish their own sense of pride or self-respect.

We are even commanded to honor parents as adults as well even when parents act less than honorably. How do we do that? First, honoring your parents does not mean that you always obey or must tolerate abuse from them or maintain a close relationship with them. 2 Corinthians 6:14 states “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” In essence, if a close relationship with your parents weighs you down, you do not need to do so in order to honor them. Second, you must show them simple respect as your respect. No name calling or mockery. For instances, if you were in a discussion with your parents and you disagree on the topic. Honoring your parents would be to say, “I disagree with that statement” and explain why. Not honoring your parents would be to say “Well, you’re an uninformed moron. You didn’t go to school so what can you possible say about that.” Third, you are to still love them. Matthew 5:44-47 states “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” Loving those who are unworthy of your love, even as your parents, carries a far greater reward than loving those who love you.

Therefore, honoring your parents does not mean that you are under their authority for your entire life. To honor your parents to help maintain their dignity with respect. To treat them as you would want to be treated. It doesn’t mean you have to do as they say. You can take their advice with a little more weight than others or not. Loving someone who is unworthy of such an emotion is hard. God commands us to do use because the hate doesn’t hurt the person, it hurts you. It eats at you and hardens your heart. Honoring your parents is about respect and dignity. Honoring is not calling your parents’ names or mocking them in anyway. Does that mean you can’t disagree? No; however, do so respectfully. Parents are given high regard in the Bible and we should regard them in life too. However, that regard does not mean you have to grovel at their feet. 

Resources:

Amsel, Rabbi Nachum (retrieved 2/2/2017): How to show respect for a parent: A Jewish View http://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/how-to-show-respect-for-a-parent-a-jewish-view/

ProYouth Pages (retrieved 2/2/2017): Taking the Fifth: Common Misuse of the Fifth Commandment http://www.proyouthpages.com/5thcommandment.html

People to be Loved: where some Christians are getting it wrong

People to be loved by Preston Sprinkle is a pastor’s search to the truth about homosexuality in the Bible. He investigates the verses which are commonly used to condemn homosexuality as well as the cultural and historical settings the verses were written in. Mr. Sprinkle goes through each verse in the Bible which mentions homosexuality and breaks it down through the original language, the cultural settings in which it was written and makes a decision if the verse condemns homosexuality or not. Through the Old Testament verse and the New Testament verses, he makes the decision that homosexuality is a sin. However, it is a sin just as lying, murder, and many other acts are. Mr. Sprinkle is very clear that just because homosexuality is a sin does not mean that Christians can condemn the LGBT community as abominations. While he spends a great deal of time discussing homosexuality in terms of the verse, he also takes more time to discuss why the LGBT community are still people who deserve to be shown Christ’s love.

As a Christian, I believe that homosexuality is a sin; however, I have never treated members of the LGBT community with condemnation and fear. I know many people who are homosexual and I have treated them with nothing but kindness and respect. While reading People to be Loved, I felt Mr. Sprinkle was trying hard to find verses which approved of homosexuality. However, as I read I realized that he was not. He was asking the Christian community to love and respect homosexuals. As he writes “Love doesn’t mean affirming one’s behavior” and “Love means accepting one’s humanity without affirming everything they do.” Affirming means to agree. I can love my friends and family without agreeing with their life choices whatever that may be. I believe this is Mr. Sprinkle’s purpose for this book. Love each other, recognize each other’s humanity and leave everything else to Christ. I recommend People to be Loved for anyone who may question what the Bible really says about homosexuality.

People to be Loved

Is available at major booksellers

Honor those who have served on Veterans Day

November 11^th is Veterans Day, a day when we honor and remember those who fought for our freedoms. The purpose of Veterans Day is to honor America’s veterans for their service, patriotism and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good of the American people. A fun fact that I discover is the Marine Corps birthday is celebrated on November 10 (1775) and since the birthday and Veterans Day are a day after one another, the Marine Corps customarily observes both occasions with a 96 hour liberty period.

Veterans Day originated as Armistice Day to honor World War I veterans. November 11^th was chosen to remember the temporary cease fire between the Allied Nations and Germany on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. November 11, 1918 has been called the end of World War I with the Treaty of Versailles officially ending the war on June 28, 1919. On the one year anniversary of the armistice, President Wilson proclaimed November 11^th as the first commemoration of Armistice Day. Congress would make November 11^th a legal holiday on May 13, 1938. By 1954, after World War II required the greatest mobilization of U.S. armed forces and after Americans fought in Korea, the 83^rd Congress amended the Act of 1938 changing it from Armistice Day to Veterans Day, in honor of veterans of all American wars. October 8, 1954, President Eisenhower proclaimed the first Veterans Day.

There are many veterans in my life who served this country with honor. I wish I could name you all, I want to focus on two veterans who means the world to me and to my husband. First, my grandfather Ken Bedard. He was born Charles Kenneth Bedard on March 11, 1922 in Boston, Massachusetts. After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, he, along with many young men of his generation, answered the call to serve. He joined the U.S. Navy and was assigned to the U.S.S. Kitkun Bay (CVE 71). He served proudly until the end of the war when he left the Navy, met and married my grandma Ruby and begin their lives together in Southern California. Although he never openly talked about his experience in the war, I knew that he held this country in high esteem and did not tolerate any disrespect to the American flag or America’s service men and women.

Another veteran who is very important in my family is my late father-in-law, Joe Y. Lara. Joe was born November 5, 1930 in Los Angeles, California. He joined the U.S. Army after his father’s death in 1946 in order to help support his siblings and would lie about his age in order to enlist. He would be sent to Korea and would be a member of the airborne division. He would serve ten years in the Army before returning home to Los Angeles. He would teach his son the love of this country as well as respecting and honoring her veterans. No matter where we are, if my husband sees a military uniform or something that identifies the individual as a vet, he will take a moment to thank them for their service. This habit I know he will teach our children.

In conclusion, our veterans are very important to us. They volunteer to go to war around the world. They are away from family and friends, often missing life moments that we take for granted all that we can enjoy our life with the freedom that we have. Some veterans come back wounded. Many wounds we can see and many wounds we cannot. On this Veterans Day and every day, if you see a veteran, make an effort to say thanks because regardless of your opinions on war, they sacrificed a lot to ensure your freedoms.

To all the veterans, we thank you for your service and sacrifice. 

My memories of the Tohono O'odham Indian Reservation

I have long admired the Native American community. In college, I took a literature class and an ethnic class which focused on the amazing people. I have a family legend which says that I have Native American blood on both my paternal and maternal sides (I’m still looking for proof). The family stories of my connection to the Native American people helped fuel my desire to know the different cultures and understand their way of life.

When I took the ethnic studies course, my professor organized a weekend field trip to the Tohono O’odham Reservation in southern Arizona. The Tohono O’odham people are the second largest in the nation and were called the Papago Indians by European settlers (it means “bean eaters”) and it is a name which they have rejected and I can understand why. The experience I had on the reservation has stayed with me all these years and what struck me the most is the story of the Man in the Maze.

The Man in the Maze is a symbol of life, happiness and sadness. It represents a person’s journey through life. The twists and turns are the choices in life. With each turn, a person gains more understanding and strength. When a person reaches the middle of the maze, he or she has reach his or her goal/dream. The figure in the picture represents I’itoi, the mischievous creator god who resides in a cave below the peak of Baboquivari.

The above picture is one I took of Baboquivari. Out of respect of the Tohono O’odham people, we stayed a distance away as the site is sacred to them. I recently discovered that the Tohono O’odham is fighting to preserve the mountain as a sacred site because the mountain has become a favorite for hikers and rock climbers and many of these individuals do not respect the mountain for what it is and have defaced the mountain. It saddens me to see a sacred site treated with such disrespect. How would you feel when something you hold dear was mistreated by those who do not know or do not care? I'm sure you'd be furious. 

I suppose what I admire most about the Native Americans is their respect for nature and all living things. They see life in a way that so many have forgotten or simply do not care. I know that some Native Americans may look at me, a white woman, and wonder why does she care? I don’t know if I can really explain it. I just feel a connection and a desire to understand. I know that history has darken the relationship between Native Americans and the rest of the country. My hope is that I can learn and then teach my children all the voices of American history, starting with the Native Americans. 

My Christian view on homosexuality and homosexual marriage

                I write this opinion with great trepidation because I know once it’s out there, I can’t take it back. That being said, I can’t keep it to myself any longer. This thought has been rolling in my head for a while now and I've been trying to figure out how to write it down. Many of you know that I am a Christian. I have been since I was 17 years old and with each passing day my faith in my Lord Jesus Christ grows stronger. He has shown me that He is in control and provides my family with our needs. Lately, I've been reading that the Christians have no right to claim that homosexuality is a sin that the New Testament does not talk about homosexuality.  The Bible speaks very clearly about homosexuality. It is wrong. I don’t understand why the uproar about Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty when he was asked a very specific question about sin and he quoted the Bible. Why does the world ask these questions of a Christian knowing full well what their response will be and then call them intolerant? A similar incident happened to Kirk Cameron on the Piers Morgan show.

I will address three arguments that I have read that Christians are wrong about homosexuality and the Bible. First, the Bible does not condemn homosexuality. This is false. There are quite a number of verses that speak against sexual immorality. Due to the sheer number of verses which deal with sexual immorality in general, I am referencing the verses which speak of homosexuality specifically.

• ·         Romans 1:25-27 “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their woman exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”
• ·         Leviticus 18:22 “Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.”
• ·         1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers not men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor the drunkard nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
• ·         1 Corinthians 7:2 “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”

These verses are very clear DO Not. Sex is to be between a man and a woman within the bond of marriages. That is how God created us and any other way is a sin.

                Second, I've read that a few gay advocates that cited that Jesus never spoke against homosexuality and in turn homosexual marriage. But he did. Matthew 19:3-6 sets the scene between Jesus and the Pharisees, who are trying to test Jesus. The Pharisees ask “It is lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” (verse 3). Jesus then replied, “Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and  said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (verses 4-6).  Therefore, marriage is between a man and a woman.

Third, Christians are using the Bible to justify hatred against homosexuals. Unfortunately, this one is true. It pains me to see that Christians are using God’s words to justify their own hatred and it’s been used in the wrong way for centuries. The Bible does not give Christians license to discriminate or vilify anyone. There are countless verses in which God is telling us to love our neighbors and the Christians are not to judge one another:

·         Hebrews 13:1 “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters”

·         James 4:12 “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you –who are you to judge your neighbor?”

·         John 8:7 “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let any of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’”

·         Matthew 7:12 “So, in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

·         Galatians 5:14 “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

·         Matthew 7:1-5 “Do not judge others, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye?”

Sin is sin, regardless of type. God hates it all and as a sinner, I must worry about my own soul and my righteousness with God. I am commanded to follow Him and teach His teachings to my children and the world. Being Christian doesn't make me perfect, far from it. However, I will not support something in which the Bible clearly speaks against. I don’t understand how Christians will say murder is wrong because it says so in the Bible but will say that homosexuality is natural when the Bible clearly speaks that it is not. Believers do not have the option to pick and choose the verses we chose to believe. I know some who would call themselves Christian who quote the nice verses and yet ignore the hard time, gut wrenching, take your breath away verses. I must follow the commands given to me by God. God has clearly forbidden homosexuality. We all have to answer for the decisions we've made in this life. I still think homosexuality is wrong but that doesn't give me the right to condemn homosexuals. I have known several gay people in my life. Some were classmates, co-workers and even second mothers. Even though I do not agree with their lifestyle, I do not wish harm to come to them in any way. I am commanded to treat them as I would want to be treated. So, I will treat them with respect and dignity.