National First Love Day: who was our first love?

Today is National First Love Day! A first love is the first person you truly fell in love with. The first one that gave you the first “butterflies in the stomach” feeling. The first date. The first spark. The one you talked to day or night. It was the person who truly saw a future with. It is also the first and one of the hardest heartbreaks. For some, their first loves were many, many years ago. The person they look back on with bittersweet fondness. For others, they are still with their first loves. What is first love? Why should we celebrate those first loves? How can we celebrate? If you are with your first love or not, today is the day to celebrate that first love! 

According to George Bernard Shaw, “first love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.”  A first love is more than a crush, more than an infatuation. A crush is usually a brief but intense infatuation for someone who is usually unattainable. A first love is different. A first love is usually someone’s first serious relationship. And for some, it is their first lesson in heartbreak. Maya Angelou describes the loss of a first love as “so painful that it borders on the ludicrous.” You never forget your first love as little things may come up that remind you of them. That song from high school on the radio takes you back to your first day with them or the first kiss with them. For some, the first loves are their only loves. It is estimated that 25% of marriages are with a first love. I know many who married, and are still married, to their first loves, including myself. 

Why celebrate National First Love Day? First, it is a trip down memory lane to the best of times. First loves are usually the beginning of new things, a rite of passage that often takes us across the bridge from childhood into adulthood. In Deana Carter’s song Strawberry Wine (1995), a woman looks back on the summer of her first love.: “I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child/When one restless summer we found love growing wild.” Second, first loves are often a lesson learned. For those whose first loves became their first heartbreak, it shapes and informs us for the next time we fall in love. Lastly, first love are memories and stories we can share. The experiences that make us who we are today, whether they were happy, sad or even funny, should be shared. They can inform others about what to look for in a relationship, what to avoid and what they could possibly have to look forward to. 

How do we celebrate National First Love Day? Here are a few suggestions. First, create a playlist or play a song that reminds you of your first love. For me, one song is the first song my husband and I danced to while we were dating, Bryan Adams’ 2002 song, Here I am. Whenever I hear it, I am taken back to that first dance. Second, go on a date. And if you can recreate your first date. Many first dates involve dinner and a movie. Go to the restaurant where you had dinner. Watch the movie you watched that night. Lastly, stay home and watch a romantic movie. There are a lot of choices when it comes to romantic movies. From rom-com to melodramas, there’s a movie for everyone. From the popular Love, Actually (2003) to the classic Ghost (1990) to my favorites The Wedding Singer (1998) and The Notebook (2004), there’s a movie for everyone. 

In conclusion, National First Love Day is a trip down memory lane. First loves are powerful and important experiences in our lives. They are usually marked with personal growth with significant impact on who we are. Some of us may move on to other loves but that first love is always present and special. They are important experiences in our lives. Others marry their first loves and some are even still married to them. Whether your first love is a distant memory or the love of your life, first loves should be celebrated. Celebrate every first in that relationship. The first date. The first kiss. The first “I love you”. And even the first break-up. The memory of a first love is something that time cannot take away. 

The Memory of Butterflies: life and it's difficult choices

The Memory of Butterflies by Grace Greene is a moving story of family, secrets and forgiveness. To keep the family secrets hidden, a young mother lies, but when her secrets are forced to be revealed, it could end up destroying everything and everyone she loves. Hannah Cooper’s daughter, Ellen, is leaving for college soon. The change is bittersweet as she desires her daughter to have the opportunities she was forced to give up but she also isn’t eager for life alone. As Ellen prepares for her senior year and college, Hannah rebuilds the family home that was destroyed in a fire and returns to her roots in Cooper’s Hollow along the beautiful and rustic Cub Creek in Virginia. With the help of her longtime friend, Roger Westray, Hannah begins shifting through the ashes. Soon the secrets she fought hard to keep hidden rise from the ashes and when one rumor circulates, Hannah is forced to reveal her secrets. Can they survive the earth shattering truth? 

Once again, Grace Greene writes a story with a tough subject with realism and heart. There is no clear heroine or villain. Sometimes with life’s choices, there are no winners or losers. You feel for Hannah as she is faced with difficult choices as a young woman and now as a mother who raised her daughter alone. It's easy to see the “should have done” choices but what would you have done in Hannah’s shoes? As one character points out, “Life doesn’t always lend itself to clear, easy choices.” There is one particular scene near the end that had me crying my eyes out as Hannah finally faces the pain she has been pushing aside for so long and the realization that she needs to stop hiding, to stop running and face what may come. The reactions and emotions portrayed by the characters are very realistic. It was a fast read. I finished it in a few hours as I couldn’t put it down. I recommend The Memory of Butterflies. 

The Memory of Butterflies is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook. 

The Spectacular: not so spectacular

The Spectacular by Zoe Whittall is the story of three generations of women who strive for real freedom in sexuality, gender identity and their ambivalence toward motherhood. It’s 1997 and Melissa “Missy” Wood is a cellist in an indie rock band on tour across America. At 22 years old, she gets on stage and plays the song about her absent mother that made the band famous. As the only girl in the band, she is determined to party just as hard, maybe even harder, as everyone else. She loves the idea of leaving a guy in every town. Meanwhile, her mother, Carola Neligan aka Juniper, has resurfaced after a sex scandal at the yoga center when she has been living. She sees Missy, for the first time in years,  on the cover of a magazine cover. Missy decides to crash at her grandmother Ruth’s house and Ruth decides enough is enough. Mother and daughter need to find a way to understand one another. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Ms Whittall’s The Best Kind of People (2016) and looked forward to reading The Spectacular. Advertised as a “sharply observed novel” that “captures three very different women who each struggle to build an authentic life,” The Spectacular sets out to explore what it means to be a woman. Does it include the desire to be a mother? It is assumed that women naturally want to be moms. What happens when a woman feels she doesn’t want kids...ever? Should others dictate to women to keep the motherhood option open? As a woman who has always known I wanted children and have faced the challenges of motherhood head on, I was curious about the premise. Right off the bat, I was put off by Missy’s vulgarity and childishness. It was hard to sympathize with Carola. Ruth’s story was interesting but far too short. It wasn’t the story I was expecting and I am certainly not the audience for this story. I do not recommend The Spectacular. 

The Spectacular is available in hardcover, eBook, and audiobook

No God But One: an in depth examination of Christianity and Islam

No God but One: Allah or Jesus? A Former Muslim Investigates the Evidence for Islam and Christianity by Nabeel Qureshi is an in depth, analytical examination of Christianity and Islam. Mr. Qureshi sets out to examine Island and Christianity in detail, exploring areas of crucial conflict and seeking relevant evidence. In this book, he provides a through and careful comparison of the evidence for Islam and for Christianity and addresses the important questions regarding the two religions. How do they differ? Are the differences significant? Can we be confident that either Christianity or Islam is true? And most importantly, is it worth sacrificing everything? Sharing stories from his life and ministry, Mr. Qureshi casts new light on current events and explores pivotal events in the histories of both religions as he compares and contrasts the two religions. Both Islam and Christianity teach that there is no God but one. But who is it? Allah or Jesus? Who deserves to be worshiped? 

I was first introduced to Nabeel Qureshi in the documentary, American Gospel (2018) and I immediately was curious about his journey from Islam to Christianity. Mr. Qureshi shared his journey of faith in the New York Times bestselling Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus (2014), which I have not read yet. However, in No God But One, the reader gets a sense of his journey to faith as he examines Islam and Christianity to their bare bones and answers the hard questions. No God but One is a great resource that is gripping, thought-provoking and challenging while being respectful and insightful. I read the eBook edition which has bonus content of a Q&A with Nabeel Qureshi as well as access to videos in which Mr. Qureshi answers some of the common questions about Islam and Christianity. No God but One is an amazing, in-depth examination between Islam and Christianity. I highly, highly recommend No God but One. 

No God but One is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook. 

Finding Home: a laid back, relaxing romance

Finding Home by Tammy L Grace is the first book in the Hometown Harbor series. Sam Collins has been devastated. After discovering her husband’s infidelities after 25 years of marriage, she is desperate for a do-over, a fresh start. Along with her dog, Sam moves from the hustle and bustle of Seattle to the quiet and quaint island community of the San Juan Islands. There she buys a bookstore and coffee shop. She soon needs a carpenter for the renovations. Jeff Cooper, a retired fireman turned handyman, answers the call. As he works on her projects, and she gets to know the community, he can’t resist falling for her. And Sam feels the same pull toward Jeff but she’s afraid to risk another relationship. Just when she thinks the past cannot cause any more pain, she is confronted with information that brings it all back. With the love and support of her new community, can she take the chance for the family and home she has been longing for? 

Finding Home is a sweet, heartwarming story of love, friendship, family and second chances with inspiration of healing from old wounds and new possibilities. The story is filled with great characters that made me smile and laugh, especially Jeff and his siblings, who also live on the island. The sibling banter back and forth was entertaining. I enjoyed all the characters and the small town feel as the community opens their arms to Sam and her dog. I also enjoyed Ms. Grace’s descriptions of the island and the town. She gives nice descriptions without being overly descriptive. I could easily picture this community and its residents. My only complaint is that everything seems to happen so fast. The conflicts that arose seem to be resolved quickly and everything is okay again. Maybe they aren’t really resolved and they will be carried over to the other books in the series. I look forward to finding out. If you are looking for a laid-back, relaxing read, I recommend Finding Home. 

Finding Home is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook

The Living and the Lost: not just another WWII story!

The Living and the Lost by Ellen Feldman is the story of love, survival and forgiveness. Meike “Millie” Mosbach and her brother, David, managed to escape to the United States just before the Kristallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass, leaving their parents and little sister in Berlin. Once in America, Millie attends Bryn Mawr and David enlists in the army and trains in intelligence. Now they are both back in Berlin, haunted by the ghosts of the life they knew and the devastation from the war. They are hoping against hope that they will find their family. Millie works for the army in the office responsible for rooting out the most dedicated Nazis from publishing. She is consumed with anger at her former country and its citizens. David works trying to help displaced people rebuild while operating secret nighttime activities. Living and working in war-torn Berlin, a latter day Wild West, where danger seems to be around every corner. Millie must come to terms with a decision she made as a girl in a moment of panic. Will she discover what happened to her parents and little sister? Will she be able to come to terms with her life now?  

I read Ms. Feldman’s Paris Never Leaves You last year and I grabbed the chance to read her newest book. The Living and the Lost is a different type of story as she deals with the occupation after the war as many World War II stories tend to focus on the war itself and leaves the aftermath as an afterthought. As I read, I was torn. It is very emotionally, in depth, touching on topics that many of us don’t think about. As the story progressed, I couldn’t help but find connections to the events of the world today and I found myself asking what would I do if I were Millie? The Living and the Lost is not a book to be read lightly. It deals with heavy topics and I had to put it down a few times in order to process what I just read. However, the desire to find out what happens kept drawing me back. I like that the story ended with no clear cut answers as to the whys as life doesn’t always give us answers to our satisfaction. I enjoyed that Ms. Feldman tackled the events in the aftermath of the war and the tensions and prejudices that were present. I recommend The Living and the Lost. 

The Living and the Lost is available in hardcover, paperback, eBook, and audiobook

National Read a Book Day: the benefits and joy of reading

Today is National Read a Book Day, which is celebrated every year on September 6th. As an avid bookworm, many of you know that I love books. I fell in love with reading in the seventh grade when I was introduced to The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and I began to read for pleasure as well as for my assignments. The origin behind National Read a Book Day is a bit of a mystery but whoever came up with the idea had an amazing idea. Some people reading is a favorite pastime, while for others it is a chore but overall there are many benefits to reading. I will share a few of my favorite reads as well as tips to observe National Read a Book Day. 

The benefits of reading are both for the physical body as well as your mental well-being. First, MRI scans have shown that reading creates and strengthens the sophisticated network of circuits and signals in the brain (Stanborough, 2019). Second, reading has been shown to reduce stress. Reading for a little as 30 minutes a day has been shown to lower blood pressure, heart rate and psychological distress (Stanborough, 2019). Third, reading has been shown to help prepare your brain for a good night’s rest. Doctors at the Mayo Clinic suggest reading as a regular part of your nightly routine (Stanborugh, 2019). For an individual’s mental well-being, first, reading helps increase your ability to empathize with others. Studies have shown that people who read literary fiction have a heightened ability to understand the feelings and beliefs of others (Stanborough, 2019). Second, reading helps build one’s vocabulary. Studies have shown that children who are exposed to reading at an young age develop larger vocabulary. Third, reading helps prevent age-related cognitive decline. “A 2013 study conducted by Rush University Medical Center found that people who’ve engaged in mentally stimulating activities all their lives were less likely to develop the plaques, lesions, and tau-protein tangles” associated with dementia (Stanborough, 2019). 

With all these benefits, many people ask, what should I read? Anything! Anything you enjoy. Anything that you find relaxing will provide these benefits. If you like humor, read it! If you enjoy sci-fi or fantasy, read it! The point is to engage your brain and enjoyment is a part of that engagement. There are many lists out there that claim books one must read before they die or to be considered educated. I’ve tried to read some of the books there and even as an avid reader, it was a struggle. Until I came across someone who stated that life’s too short to read books that bore you, so read for enjoyment. I mentioned The Outsiders above, here are a few of my other favorites from the classics to modern publications.

My favorite classics:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird (1960) by Harper Lee

2. Jane Eyre (1847) by Charlotte Bronte

3. Fahrenheit 451 (1953) by Ray Bradbury

4. The Chronicles of Narnia series (1950-1956) by CS Lewis

5. Bridge to Terabithia (1977) by Katherine Paterson

My favorite modern publications:

1. The Kite Runner (2003) by Khaled Hosseini 

2. The Harry Potter series (1997-2007) by J.K. Rowling

3. Tales of the Scavenger’s Daughters series (2013-2015) and it’s prequel, The Palest Ink (2015) by Kay Bratt

4. Hurricane Summer (2021) by Asha Bromfield

5. The Color of Heaven (2013) by Julianne MacLean

Now, how to observe National Read a Book Day? Simply, sit back, relax and read a book. Celebrate with a new book you’ve been meaning to read or select an old favorite. Reading doesn’t even have to be a traditional book, especially if you are trying to encourage your children to read. Comic books and graphic novels are a great source of entertainment with a complex storyline and amazing art work. Manga books, Japanese comic or graphic novels,  have grown in popularity among young adults, with their unique style of art and storytelling. Dr. Laura Jimenez of Brown University has found that comic, graphic novels and manga “provide an entry point for struggling readers, challenge gifted readers, and help more students learn” (Maxwell, 2018) and may even lead young adults to become readers of traditional books as well as comics. You can also visit a local library or a local bookstore by yourself or take your family. Have your children pick out a book to read as a family. Still unsure what to read? Librarians and bookstore staff are great sources for recommendations as well as Amazon, Goodreads and other online sources. With the growing popularity and convenience of eBooks, books can now go with us wherever we go! 

In conclusion, I love reading. I spend many hours of my day reading and writing reviews for others to hopefully pick up and enjoy as well. Reading may be a solitary activity but it can open a wide community of fellow readers. Reading has great benefits for our bodies and our minds. With so many choices and so many genres, everyone can find books they will enjoy. Whether it is a traditional book, comic books or an eBook, reading is reading. It engages the mind, reduces stress and can help us build a better community as we learn to empathize with others. Remember, reading as little as 30 minutes a day can bring these benefits. Pick up your favorite book, sit back and immerse yourself in a different world for a while. Happy National Read a Book Day! 

Reference

Maxwell, Lucas (August 2, 2018). A Friendly Reminder that Comic Books Still Count as Reading. Bookriot.com. https://bookriot.com/comic-books-count-as-reading/. Retrieved September 2, 2021. 

Stanborough, Rebecca Joy (October 15, 2019). Benefits of Reading Books: How It Can Positively Affect Your Life. Heathline.com. https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-reading-books. Retrieved September 1, 2021.