My Thoughts on Toxic Christians: Part 2

This is Part 2 of My Thoughts on Toxic Christians. If you missed Part 1, you can read it here: http://observationsfromasimplelife.blogspot.com/2015/08/my-thoughts-on-toxic-christians-part-1.html?spref=fb

6. The “Culture is Evil and Scary” Christian: When a person rants against culture, they are usually talking about the life outside of the Christian church and activities. However, culture is itself is not evil. Culture is simply the behaviors, beliefs, values, and symbols that are accepted and passed on from one generation to the next. There is culture all around us: our region of the country, our cities/towns, our families, schools, age groups, and even our churches. I find the Christians who fear culture often will try to protect themselves by living in a corruption free bubble. I agree with Mr. Powell that this belief can be toxic because it can lead to isolation and is how most cults are formed when the outside world is shut out. Christians are called to go out into the world and spread the gospel. How can we do that if we shut ourselves away?

7. The “I love Jesus but not the church” Christians: In the defense of the Christians who say “but not the church,” they are usually referring to a particular congregation that they feel wronged by even disenchanted with. I have left churches in which I felt did not have a place for me or I had outgrown or simply did not feel comfortable being a part of. And it’s not that this Christian wants isolation, they want to a part of a church but feels he or she does not fit in or welcome either through their own faulty perspective or the actions of others. When my husband first become a Christian, he was fired up and wanted to get involved. However, he was told he was not ready to serve. How can you tell a person who wants to help he can’t? It’s not that he wanted to lead a sermon. This is the kind of attitude I’m talking about. While I do believe that having a church to worship and fellowship is important, I feel it is only a fraction of a Christian’s life, not the entirety.

8. The “God doesn’t work that way” Christian: I used to be a very black-n-white Christian, influenced by the church I was attending at the time. When I begin to study the Bible on my own, I realized that there are a lot of shades of grey simply because life is not so clean cut as we want it to be. People cannot fathom the greatness, the bigness, and the powerfulness of God. We try to understand Him in ways that our brain can handle. One of the hardest questions to answer is why. For example, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that God allowed me to suffer two pregnancy losses because He saw a role that I needed to fill. I know many people who don’t like to think that God allows the death of a child. While the losses were painful and traumatic for me, I wouldn’t be able to fill that role had I not suffered the loss of two of my children. I now have another purpose in life to help others.

9.  The “Love to Pick a Fight” Christian: These Christians usually argue or discuss doctrine. Doctrine which is often man’s interpretation of the Bible. Sometimes it’s right and sometimes it’s wrong. I’ve learned that some people who argue loudly about doctrine don’t really understand it and want to try and prove that they do. For example, many years ago, I was on my way to a College Bible weekend and during the drive up, the discussion turned to Calvinism. At the time, I had never heard of Calvinism and I asked for more detail. The blank look I got from the person who was debating the loudest was very telling. He stumbled with his words before telling me that I wouldn’t understand. At the time, I was very insulted that he couldn’t take the time to give me the basics. However it was only much later when I encountered another person discussing Calvinism, did I realize that that young man didn’t truly understand what he was talking about but he wanted to sound like he did.

10. The “You can’t talk about that in church” Christian: I caught myself doing this at church a few weeks ago. The worship band was playing a song that isn’t a typical worship song. I leaned over to my husband and said, “I can’t believe they’re playing this song in church.” What I was really concerned about wasn’t the content of the song (which fit the theme of the day’s sermon) but who the song is associated with. The person who usually uses this protest to the topics discussed in sermons is more because the topics which makes them uncomfortable. Also, sometimes when a topic makes you feel uncomfortable because it speaks to you more deeply then you want. When Jesus taught, he wasn’t concerned with making people comfortable. He wanted to shake them awake from their old ways. To open their eyes to the sin in their lives. He made many enemies this way but He also gained many followers who were set free from the chains that society had put them in.

In conclusion, bottom line Christians are still humans. They still suffer the shortcomings and failure that all humans do. Just because someone is Christian does not mean they are perfect. It means they are a follower of Christ. That they strive to live their lives as He did. Sometimes they will succeed, sometimes they will fail. Remember just because someone is a Christian, as a Christian, you or I are not obligated to like them or hang out with them or have any deeper relationship. We are commanded by our Lord and Savior to love them as a child of God. To pray for them that the Lord will help them change their toxic ways. We are not to exclude them from fellowship. We must be better examples of Christ. 

My thoughts on Toxic Christians: part 1

I recently came across an article “10 Toxic Christians in the Church Today” by Frank Powell.  You can read the full article here: http://www.faithit.com/10-toxic-christians-in-the-church-today/ Toxic is defined as harmful. People who are often referred to as toxic can be destructive in our lives. What happens when toxic people are also Christians? I would like to give my thoughts on this article. While the author has some valid points, I feel I need to address a few of his labels. His labels focus on personality traits that you can see in everyone and just because certain people are Christians doesn’t mean that the personality traits change. I feel his label as “Toxic Christians” leads to the belief that these types of people are not true Christians.

1. The “Always Cynical” Christian: This person is always distrusting or hates in anything which is non-Christian. I’ve seen many Christians do this and what I found is that sometimes they are not giving their opinion why something is bad, they are merely repeating someone else’s opinion. I often asked “have you read that book?” or “have you seen that TV show or movie?” If they answer no, then you cannot really hate something if you don’t know what it’s about. I’ve come to realize that just because something is labeled “Christian” does not make it automatically good and Biblically correct just like something non-Christian is not automatically evil. You cannot judge a book by its cover. I remember when I worked in a Christian bookstore and a customer rejected Lord of the Rings because it had wizards and magic despite the fact it was written by an author who was Christian. From this experience and others, I’ve learned to explore and research someone or something before forming my opinion and I will not rely solely on any one person’s opinion as my own.

2. The “Back Row” Christian: According to Mr. Powell, this is the Christian who keeps God at arm’s length and his or her life isn’t informed by God. My question is how do you know if someone is keeping God at arm’s length? And how do you know if his or her life isn’t informed by God? Just because you do not see their involvement in your church’s outreaches, does not mean they are not doing one on their own. They may feed the homeless, mentor to those in need without your knowledge and without recognition. In Matthew 6:3, Jesus says “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know that your right hand is doing.” Do so without acknowledge or personal glory. Just because you think this “Back Row” Christian isn’t contributing to your church does not mean he or she is not contributing to the Church.

3. The “World is Caving In” Christian: These people can be annoying with all talk of doom and gloom but this in not exclusive to Christians. You see it every day in the news. Mr. Powell states that “the phrase “do not fear” appears hundreds of times in the Bible.” In my research, I’ve been able to find the phrase appears approximately 110 times. However, fear does not mean a lack of faith. Fear is a natural emotion that God has given us. It is what we do with our fear that matters. Do we run and hide? Or do we trudge on despite our doubts and our fears with faith on our Lord’s promise? I fear many things and many times in my life, it does not mean that I have any less faith in God. Jesus felt fear. In the Garden of Gethsemane. Matthew 26:38 says he was “troubled” and Mark 14:33 says he was “deeply distressed.” He worried and fear what was to come because the time had arrived. Did He walk away from this fear? He prayed that God could find another way but He knew there wasn’t one.  Fear does not make you a bad or “toxic” Christian, it makes you human.

4. The “Follow the Rules” Christian: This is one I agree with Mr. Powell on. I know many people like this and sometimes they push away great people because of this attitude. It makes people feel as if they do not belong. However, the “rules” they are often following are the rules the church has made. It is the doctrine that a group of people created using the Bible as their guide. The some rules are correct and others not so much. The thing about humans is that sometimes we are going to fail and despite our best efforts. Some Christians forget that we are still human. Christ only gave his followers two commandments to follow: 1) to love the Lord God with all our heart, soul and mind and 2) to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:35-40). As long as we focus on these two commandments, all other rules should fall into place.

5. The “Political” Christian: I hate politics to begin with. I’ve tried to be largely engaged in the political debates and questions in our world, I just…well, it’s not that I don’t care. It’s more because there is so much going on that my brain cannot wrap around everything.  I get stressed out when it comes to politics. I really dislike elections years. I know that God is in control. I am a dutiful citizen of the United States, I research all candidates and propositions on the ballot before I vote. Does that mean that a Christian who is passionate and active in the political process bad? I don’t think so. I think God gives certain people the energy and the know-how to be active in the political realm. I think churches needs someone who can easily understand what is going on in order to help others understand and make an informed decision. 

to be continued...