A letter to an old friend

Dear friend,

I miss you. There I said it. You may not believe it, but I do. I don’t know if you miss me. I hope that you do but I don’t know for sure. I feel as if a part of my heart has been ripped out and there’s a void in my life. A void that will be slow to heal and hard to fill. It’s been a year since we last spoke and I realized now, and honestly have known for a while, that we will probably never speak again. The one day, many months ago, we ran into each other, I hesitated for a moment, smiling, waiting for you to turn around. But you never did and that hurt. It should have been a clue to what would come. I made the hard decision a few months ago to unfriend you on Facebook. It wasn’t something I wanted to do, and I avoided doing it for a long time. But when you went silent and I realized how much it hurt to see your name on my friends list, I felt I had to do it.

The last year has been a wild ride for my family and me. We’ve had so many changes and new changes are coming and it hurts that I cannot share them with you. Last year, I was starting to take back control over my life and establishing boundaries with various people and learning to recognize the boundaries of others. When I confronted you with information I had learned, my intention was not to stop communication or our friendship. I thought our friendship would continue. However, when I tried to reestablish communication, you didn’t respond, and I was stunned into silence. With the emotional upheaval at the time, I focused on what needed to be done at the time and give you more time, since I thought that’s what you needed and wanted. I thought it was just a bump in the road. While I thought I was firm but gentle, I apologize, if I wasn’t. I never expected to end our friendship. I thought it would blow over and we could move on with our friendship being stronger for it.

I know no one likes to be called out on their mistakes. I’ve had time to think and I realize that I made mistakes too. I realize that somethings that I said and did were harsh and very unlike me. I don’t know why I did it and I wish I could take it back.  And I’m sorry if I had laid too much on you. I found a kindred spirit in so many things. We both were bookworms. We both lost a child in sudden and tragic circumstances. I found a sounding board who I could vocalize my frustrations, concerns, and thoughts. I never expected or wanted you to solve my problems, as they were mine to solve. I just needed someone to listen. You helped me reach a decision that has only led to good things for me and my family. And for that I thank you. But I didn’t need saving. I needed a friend. A friend I thought that, despite our differences, could still be a feature in each other’s lives. There are days and moments when I want to reach for the phone and message you, to tell you the funny story that happened. But I stopped myself. Not wanting to get hurt again if you didn’t respond. I have learned a great deal from the whole situation.

When I look at our pictures, I smile for I am grateful you were in my life for a time. I will cherish the gifts you have given me and the memories we have shared. Despite everything, I still love you, I still want to see you well and happy. I pray that you achieve all you hope and dream for your life. And I want to be friends again. Although I realize that it may not be in the cards. You may have just been a chapter in my life’s journey. I do miss talking with you. There are little things every day that I remind me of you, that make me think of you. And I say a little prayer that you are doing well. I still look for you at certain places. I prepare myself for the day we might run into each other. Although we live in different areas, it’s a small world that we could run into each other one day.

As I write this letter, I don’t know if you’ll even read it, let alone respond. I hope you will, but I am preparing myself if you don’t. If you take anything away from this letter, I want you to know that I love you. You had a great impact on my life. I know that in the short time we were friends, you helped me see that my family and I needed a change and encouraged us as we moved forward with those changes. I wish we could still be friends. Please know that my friendship is still offered to you, even after everything that has passed. We may not be able to be the friends we were before; but maybe we can be friends in new ways. Although I don’t anticipate you ever doing so, but, if you ever want to reach out, know that that door is always open. You can reach me through Messenger, text, call, email; whatever method you want to use, I will be at the other end.

Love always,

Me

How to Train Your Dragon Hidden World movie review

How to Train Your Dragons Hidden World opened in the US on February 22, 2019 to rave reviews. I loved the other films in the trilogy and was eager to see this one. Unfortunately, I was unable to see it in theaters. The Blu-ray and DVD were released on May 21 and I was determined to buy it. Hidden World is the last film in this trilogy, and we must say goodbye to this beautiful world and these outlandish but lovable characters. Always visually stunning with great characters, great moments and send off worthy of this wonderful series.

The film opens one year after the events of How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014), Hiccup (played by Jay Baruchel) and his friends continue to rescue captured dragons. He brings them back to Berk where he has created a dragon-human utopia. Unfortunately, his place has resulted in an overpopulation of dragons. The villagers urge Hiccup to marry Astrid (played by America Ferrera) and take a larger role as chief. Unwilling to take that next step, Hiccup is determined to keep the dragons with them. He wants to find the Hidden World, a place his late father told him about as a child. Meanwhile, a white female Fury (dubbed Light Fury by Astrid) is discovered by Toothless. Unknown to Hiccup, the Light Fury is being used as bait by the infamous dragon hunter, Grimmel (played by F. Murray Abraham) in order to capture Toothless. As Hiccup searches for the Hidden World, he must decide whether to free Toothless and the other dragons or spend a lifetime fighting those who want to hurt them.

I loved this film. First, I love the characters. They have grown with each film; however still struggle with their insecurities/weaknesses. Hiccup is a great example. The boy would couldn’t or wouldn’t kill a dragon has grown in a man who hasn’t quite figured out his role as chief. He’s reluctant to marry Astrid, not because he doesn’t want to because he fears his dragon riding days are over. With the help of Astrid (who is my favorite character), he realizes that its time to say goodbye. Second, I like that the movie features a moral or lesson that we don’t have to be alone to solve our problems. We find strength, encouragement and solutions as we lean on others for support, advice and help. That we are better together as a partnership or a team than we are alone. Valka, Hiccup’s mother (played by Cate Blanchett) tells Astrid, “He thinks he has to lead alone.” Being a great leader means having a great team around him or her. Third, I love the theme that in life, sometimes we must lose who or what we love. In a flashback scene, Stoick (played by Gerard Butler) gives his son this lesson. “With love comes loss, son. It’s part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, its all worth it. There’s no greater gift than love.”

There were a few things I didn’t like. First, I was told and expecting a huge emotional response with the goodbyes in the film. While it was bittersweet to see Hiccup and Toothless say goodbye, it was not the emotional impact I was expecting. Maybe because I knew it was coming? Maybe because it wasn’t the goodbye, I thought it would be to warrant an emotional response? I’ve read reviews where people said they left the theater in tears and I saw nothing that was as a tearjerker. It was definitely not the emotional impact that Disney’s Coco (2017) had. Second, the villain Grimmel. While F. Murray Abraham played a great villain, the villain fell short for me. He reminds me of Drago, the villain from the second film. While Drago wanted to build a dragon army, Grimmel wants to rid the world of dragons as he sees them as an inferior species. Also, his role in the story was over too quickly. He shows up, they battle, and its over. Third, the flirtatious competition between Snotlout (played by Jonah Hill) and Eret (played by Kit Harrington) for Valka’s attention. It’s creepy and goes on too long and even gets creepier when Valka returns the flirts at the end.

Overall, I enjoyed this film and it is a fitting goodbye to these characters and the lovable dragons. The characters were great with Hiccup struggling to find himself as chief. Astrid as his confidante and partner as he learns to lead his people. The lesson of leadership and how great leaders don’t lead alone. And the hard lesson that sometimes we must say goodbye to those we love. I highly recommend How to Train Your Dragon Hidden World as well as the first two films, if you haven’t seen them. The trilogy is great for the entire family.