Proverbs 31 Woman: not a standard of perfection but a goal for a wisdom filled life

Many critics, and even Christian leaders and pastors, have used the Bible to blame women for everything from sexual sins to a man’s fragile ego. From Delilah to Jezebel, there are unfavorable images of men. However, they tend to forget or ignore that the book of Proverbs begins and ends with glowing portraits of women. By the way, there aren’t many glowing descriptions of men in the book of Proverbs either. Proverbs opens with wisdom personified as a woman and ends with the picture of a wise woman. The Proverbs 31 woman represents the fulfillment of life lived in wisdom. A woman who is praised by her husband and children as a woman who surpasses all others. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the ideal woman, wife and mother. What makes her ideal? Is it too lofty a goal? What does it mean to be a Proverbs 31 woman today? 

Proverbs 3:13-16 states “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.” This is an abstract picture of wisdom. Proverbs 31:10-31 brings that picture into a more tangible image. This woman is hard-working, enterprising, capable, strong and wise. She is skilled, generous, and thoughtful. She is dignified, God-fearing, serene and a credit to her husband. She rises early to feed her family. She considers a purchase before buying it. She weaves clothes and linens. She works with eager hands. She helps her community. She is a woman who is never idle and uses her time wisely. It asks the question: Are you making good use of the time given to you? 

Unfortunately, the depiction of the Proverbs 31 woman has been used by preachers and critical husbands to point out where ordinary women fail. But they also fail to recognize what the most important attribute of the Proverbs 31 woman is: her fear of the Lord. Charm and beauty are all in the eye of the beholder and have a short shelf life. However, a fear of the Lord and a great faith in Him is the most important aspect of this woman’s life. Job 28:28 says “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.” A bold, all-consuming love for God is the ultimate goal to keep your eye on and when you do, everything else will fall into place. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom as Proverbs 9:10 says “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” To fear the Lord is to be in reverent awe of His holiness and to give complete reverence and honor as the God of great glory, majesty and power. Fear of the Lord builds wisdom and faith. 

Many people would argue that the image of a Proverbs 31 woman is outdated for today. However, I would argue it is still relevant. She is a woman who looks to the future with plans, goals and hope. She lives purposefully. She is wise and knowledgeable. A Proverbs 31 woman makes herself useful. She has strength. Strong morally, spiritually and physically. She puts the best version of herself forward and she supports her husband. When a husband and a wife support and encourage each other, they both succeed. To strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman isn’t just for married women. Single women can emulate her too. To serve others, give generously, be kind and work hard. You don’t have to be married to do that. Overall, a Proverbs 31 woman is strong, smart and successful. She is also generous, kind and finds joy in serving others, even in the mundane. Some days it may be tiring. Do not be discouraged if some days you don’t feel like it. It’s okay to stop, rest and recharge your batteries. Even Jesus took rest and retreated (Matthew 14:13, Mark 1:35, and Mark 6:31 to name a few). 

In conclusion, the perfect image of the Proverbs 31 woman may sound very discouraging. It is a goal or standard to strive for; however, it is important to remember that the most praiseworthy aspect about this woman is her fear of the Lord. The gift of wisdom is from God to preserve, bless and prolong our life. Give thanks for the benefits of wisdom we already have in our lives. We need to seek God to recognize the difference in the “wisdom” of the world and true wisdom from God. While this image is a goal to strive for, do not be discouraged if there are days you do not feel like you live up to this ideal. There are even days when I do not feel I can strive to this goal. Turn to God, seek Him, and rest. He can provide the energy and strength you need.