Every new year brings the prospect of new beginnings, a
chance to have a fresh start and hope for the future. As Christmas ends, many
turn their attention to New Year’s Eve which for many is a party night. For me,
it is a chance to reflect on the year past and anticipate the year ahead. When
2018 dawned, many, including myself, called it the year of change. And what a
year of change it has been. It was filled with the changes I was expecting and
a few changes that I wasn’t expecting at all. It has been a year of tremendous
joy and a lot of tears. 2018 has brought a new baby, a new home and new
personal growth.
Right off the bat, an unexpected change was that my husband
and I learned that we were expecting a baby. After many miscarriages in recent
years, our hopes were cautiously optimistic. Cautiously optimistic may be an
understatement. We were excited but feared getting too excited. We looked to our due date as if it was so far
away. Given our loss history, my doctor recommended a cerclage and weekly progesterone
shots, which I did. I had the cerclage placed in March and started the shots
shortly after for 20 weeks. With each shot and each doctor appointment, our
baby was growing, thriving and it looked as if we would hold another precious
child in our arms. Even though things were going well, I still looked forward
to my due date with trepidation. I was still afraid to let my hopes get too
high. However, God had us in his hands and on August 22, our beautiful baby
girl was born via c-section at 36 weeks 1 day. And despite being born late
preterm, she is a healthy four-month-old. She is the greatest, happiest and
joyous unexpected change of 2018. I look forward to watching her grow in the
future.
An expected change of 2018 was that my husband and I moved
our family to a new home. We knew we wanted to move and finding a new home
proved to be more difficult than we anticipated. We settled on an area which
some would consider to be undesirable. However, we found a small but beautiful
complex hidden among the “weeds” of the area. We have met amazing and very
welcoming neighbors who are quickly becoming friends. Our oldest daughter is
thriving in her new school and she enjoys going to school every day. I want to
shout out to the family and friends who helped us with this change in our
lives. As many know, moving is a great undertaking and no one moves without
help. There are so many people who offered help especially with the heavy
lifting since I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk.
I know they wouldn’t want me to name them directly, but they know who they are.
“Thank you” sometimes just doesn’t cover the gratitude my husband and I feel
when we remember the help and support we received.
2018 has been a year of great personal growth on my part,
particularly with my commitment to establishing boundaries. It hasn’t been easy
to set those boundaries and I have been met with anger, guilt and silence at my
boundaries. However, I realize that I cannot control how others react to my
boundaries, I am only responsible for my reactions and responses. I have also
learned that many people talk about boundaries but when you set a boundary with
them, they get angry as if to say, “boundaries with others, not with me.” Everyone
gets boundaries from me, yes everyone, and I have learned to respect boundaries
set by others. If you haven’t read Boundaries
by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend, I highly recommend it. It has been an
eye-opener for me and I have learned where I let others take control of areas
of my life without really realizing it. It is easy to talk the talk and
difficult to walk the walk, but once I started to walk it, the easier it became
to continue. Personal growth is always a work in progress and it is important
to learn from any failures, pick myself up and move forward.
In conclusion, every year has the potential for great change
in our lives. With each new year, we can make the decision to better ourselves,
to learn from the year’s mistakes and treasure the achievements. 2018 has been
an amazing year with extreme highs and happiness to extreme lows and sadness
and everything in between. However, life is about enjoying the happy days and
learning from the sad days. I look forward to 2019 as it will bring continued
growth and happiness. One of the many things I have learned in my life is that
happiness is part of the journey and not a destination. I’ve learned to deal
with the things in life that I can change and leave the ones I can’t to God.
