New Year's thoughts and reflections

It’s that time again. As another year closes and the promise of new beginnings in a new year is before us, I am taking the time to reflect on 2019 as well as look forward to 2020. I think about the changes my life has gone through this year and I wish I could tell go back in time and tell myself, that everything will work out and I would be alright. To quote from the movie, Forrest Gump (1994), “Don’t you just love New Year’s? You get to start all over.” Everyone loves New Year’s and the chance to start fresh.

More changes came with 2019. My husband and I moved once again to a beautiful home that we have been incredibly blessed with. We have hit a stride that we finally have this adult thing down. As I turned 40 this year and I have the benefit of my experience to look back on and know that there is no time or place I would rather be. Although stress and hard times will always come our way, I feel we are better equipped to deal with whatever life may throw our way. My husband continues to grow professionally at work and takes great pride in a job well done. My oldest daughter is thriving at her new school and has grown into such a young lady that it’s hard to fathom that she will be 8 years old in a few weeks. My youngest daughter is now a toddler, walks and climbs and gets into all sorts of mischief. I look forward to further growth in 2020.

It's interesting that in 2019 was the year of continued growth in my life but it was also the year of looking back. As the song, Auld Lang Syne, commonly sung at new year’s, says “Should old acquaintance be fought and never brought to mind,” this year was the year of old friends from long ago brought to my mind. One friend, whom I haven’t seen since junior high, I have been thinking about her for a while and when I found her picture in my photo box, I took a chance to look her up. I was able to find her on Facebook but as hesitate to contact her. Would she remember me? Would she want to speak with me? Another friend popped up on my “People You May Know” list on Facebook. Most of the time they are people whom I have mutual friends with but sometimes it brings up random people like “Yeah! I do know him/her!” Sometimes the desire to reconnect with old friends is strong. Maybe 2020 will be the year of reconnection.

2020 will be another year of change as it brings the presidential election and other changes. While I am not looking forward to the ad campaigns, the mudslinging and the tensions between family and friends and even strangers on the internet. It comes with the territory of differing opinions, I guess but it stresses me out. It may be the time which I limit my time on social media. 2020 also brings the Summer Olympics in Tokyo to look forward too. Also, a very special birthday for my wonderful husband comes up this year so that will be a great time of celebration. 2020 is also the year to make new goals and work toward achieving those goals. I welcome the challenges which will undoubtedly come my way. I know that I have the love and support of my wonderful husband and extended family and friends to battle on whatever comes my way.

In conclusion, 2019 was a year of change and amazing blessings. 2020 is a new chance for new beginnings. But then again, each day is a chance for a new you. As I look down the calendar and see all that will happen, good and bad, expected and unexpected, it will be a great year. And before you know it, we will be saying goodbye to another year and looking forward to the promise of another new year.

Goodbye 2018, you were a year of great change

Every new year brings the prospect of new beginnings, a chance to have a fresh start and hope for the future. As Christmas ends, many turn their attention to New Year’s Eve which for many is a party night. For me, it is a chance to reflect on the year past and anticipate the year ahead. When 2018 dawned, many, including myself, called it the year of change. And what a year of change it has been. It was filled with the changes I was expecting and a few changes that I wasn’t expecting at all. It has been a year of tremendous joy and a lot of tears. 2018 has brought a new baby, a new home and new personal growth.

Right off the bat, an unexpected change was that my husband and I learned that we were expecting a baby. After many miscarriages in recent years, our hopes were cautiously optimistic. Cautiously optimistic may be an understatement. We were excited but feared getting too excited.  We looked to our due date as if it was so far away. Given our loss history, my doctor recommended a cerclage and weekly progesterone shots, which I did. I had the cerclage placed in March and started the shots shortly after for 20 weeks. With each shot and each doctor appointment, our baby was growing, thriving and it looked as if we would hold another precious child in our arms. Even though things were going well, I still looked forward to my due date with trepidation. I was still afraid to let my hopes get too high. However, God had us in his hands and on August 22, our beautiful baby girl was born via c-section at 36 weeks 1 day. And despite being born late preterm, she is a healthy four-month-old. She is the greatest, happiest and joyous unexpected change of 2018. I look forward to watching her grow in the future.

An expected change of 2018 was that my husband and I moved our family to a new home. We knew we wanted to move and finding a new home proved to be more difficult than we anticipated. We settled on an area which some would consider to be undesirable. However, we found a small but beautiful complex hidden among the “weeds” of the area. We have met amazing and very welcoming neighbors who are quickly becoming friends. Our oldest daughter is thriving in her new school and she enjoys going to school every day. I want to shout out to the family and friends who helped us with this change in our lives. As many know, moving is a great undertaking and no one moves without help. There are so many people who offered help especially with the heavy lifting since I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. I know they wouldn’t want me to name them directly, but they know who they are. “Thank you” sometimes just doesn’t cover the gratitude my husband and I feel when we remember the help and support we received.

2018 has been a year of great personal growth on my part, particularly with my commitment to establishing boundaries. It hasn’t been easy to set those boundaries and I have been met with anger, guilt and silence at my boundaries. However, I realize that I cannot control how others react to my boundaries, I am only responsible for my reactions and responses. I have also learned that many people talk about boundaries but when you set a boundary with them, they get angry as if to say, “boundaries with others, not with me.” Everyone gets boundaries from me, yes everyone, and I have learned to respect boundaries set by others. If you haven’t read Boundaries by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend, I highly recommend it. It has been an eye-opener for me and I have learned where I let others take control of areas of my life without really realizing it. It is easy to talk the talk and difficult to walk the walk, but once I started to walk it, the easier it became to continue. Personal growth is always a work in progress and it is important to learn from any failures, pick myself up and move forward.

In conclusion, every year has the potential for great change in our lives. With each new year, we can make the decision to better ourselves, to learn from the year’s mistakes and treasure the achievements. 2018 has been an amazing year with extreme highs and happiness to extreme lows and sadness and everything in between. However, life is about enjoying the happy days and learning from the sad days. I look forward to 2019 as it will bring continued growth and happiness. One of the many things I have learned in my life is that happiness is part of the journey and not a destination. I’ve learned to deal with the things in life that I can change and leave the ones I can’t to God.