New York, New Year, New You: a self-discovery with a happily ever after

New York, New Year, New You by Rachael Bloome is a story of one woman’s journey to prove herself. Quincy Carmichael is the youngest in a very overachieving family. So overachieving that she can’t keep up so she stopped trying. Earning the nickname, Quincy the Quitter, she finds a reason, any excuse to stop before she gets hurt. When the opportunity for a major promotion comes up, she is challenged to move to New York City and complete 10 year’s worth of unfinished New Year’s resolutions. She stays with her childhood friend, Brynn, and Brynn’s older brother, Ethan, who happens to be Quincy’s childhood crush. With Brynn and Ethan’s help, Quincy finds herself on an eye opening journey of self-discovery she never thought possible. 

New York, New Year, New You is a light, wholesome, feel-good, unable to put it down, novel full of heart, hope, and humor. I loved Quincy and my heart broke for her from the very beginning. And I cheered as she faced each challenge, despite her nerves, and finished each one with success or not. But she keeps going and learns who she truly is and what she really wants in life. I laughed, smiled and teared up as she finally found the strength to stand up for herself and have the confidence to be herself. I also loved Ethan’s character and his interactions with Quincy. If you enjoy sweet, emotional stories with a happily ever after, I highly recommend New York, New Year, New You. 

New York, New Year, New You is available in paperback and eBook

Hold You Down: an emotional ride for single Black mothers in 1980s New York City

Hold You Down by Tracy Brown is a story about the perils of love and the ties that bind us. Mercy and Lenox Howard have always had each other. Abandoned by their mother, raised by their grandmother, they grew up on the mean streets of Harlem. As single moms with young sons, they are determined to survive and give their sons brighter futures. Mercy is the quiet, straight laced, playing the book and yet struggles to make ends meet. Lenox is the diva, the wild child, always looking for excitement and making it big in life. Their boys, Judah and Deon, are more brothers than cousins, and have forged a bond that seems unbreakable. When Lenox believes that success and power is hers for the taking as she heads down a path that will forever alter the course of her life as well as the life of her loved ones. 

I read Ms. Brown’s previous book, Single Black Female and knew I was in for an emotional ride. Hold You Down takes place in New York City during the late 1980s into the 1990s. It is a powerful, heartfelt story of a family trying to better themselves and the challenges they face. There were beautiful moments of celebration and family joys. There were gut wrenching moments of tears and devastation. I admire the strength of the characters as they come to grips with their lots in life and do their best to overcome them. Ms. Brown gives readers a hard-hitting, gritty, no-holds-bar story of life for black single mothers in 1980s New York. She does not hold back from the realities that Mercy and Lenox face and the Catch-22 they live in. Be prepared to laugh and cry with Mercy, Lenox and their sons. I highly recommend Hold You Down. 

Hold You Down is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook

New Year's thoughts and reflections

It’s that time again. As another year closes and the promise of new beginnings in a new year is before us, I am taking the time to reflect on 2019 as well as look forward to 2020. I think about the changes my life has gone through this year and I wish I could tell go back in time and tell myself, that everything will work out and I would be alright. To quote from the movie, Forrest Gump (1994), “Don’t you just love New Year’s? You get to start all over.” Everyone loves New Year’s and the chance to start fresh.

More changes came with 2019. My husband and I moved once again to a beautiful home that we have been incredibly blessed with. We have hit a stride that we finally have this adult thing down. As I turned 40 this year and I have the benefit of my experience to look back on and know that there is no time or place I would rather be. Although stress and hard times will always come our way, I feel we are better equipped to deal with whatever life may throw our way. My husband continues to grow professionally at work and takes great pride in a job well done. My oldest daughter is thriving at her new school and has grown into such a young lady that it’s hard to fathom that she will be 8 years old in a few weeks. My youngest daughter is now a toddler, walks and climbs and gets into all sorts of mischief. I look forward to further growth in 2020.

It's interesting that in 2019 was the year of continued growth in my life but it was also the year of looking back. As the song, Auld Lang Syne, commonly sung at new year’s, says “Should old acquaintance be fought and never brought to mind,” this year was the year of old friends from long ago brought to my mind. One friend, whom I haven’t seen since junior high, I have been thinking about her for a while and when I found her picture in my photo box, I took a chance to look her up. I was able to find her on Facebook but as hesitate to contact her. Would she remember me? Would she want to speak with me? Another friend popped up on my “People You May Know” list on Facebook. Most of the time they are people whom I have mutual friends with but sometimes it brings up random people like “Yeah! I do know him/her!” Sometimes the desire to reconnect with old friends is strong. Maybe 2020 will be the year of reconnection.

2020 will be another year of change as it brings the presidential election and other changes. While I am not looking forward to the ad campaigns, the mudslinging and the tensions between family and friends and even strangers on the internet. It comes with the territory of differing opinions, I guess but it stresses me out. It may be the time which I limit my time on social media. 2020 also brings the Summer Olympics in Tokyo to look forward too. Also, a very special birthday for my wonderful husband comes up this year so that will be a great time of celebration. 2020 is also the year to make new goals and work toward achieving those goals. I welcome the challenges which will undoubtedly come my way. I know that I have the love and support of my wonderful husband and extended family and friends to battle on whatever comes my way.

In conclusion, 2019 was a year of change and amazing blessings. 2020 is a new chance for new beginnings. But then again, each day is a chance for a new you. As I look down the calendar and see all that will happen, good and bad, expected and unexpected, it will be a great year. And before you know it, we will be saying goodbye to another year and looking forward to the promise of another new year.

Holy Disunity: there is something good and useful about our differences

Holy Disunity: How what separates us can save us by Layton E. Williams is a call to “let go of the idol of unity and see the holiness in disunity” as stated by Diana Butler Bass in the foreword. Ms. Layton, a bisexual ordained Presbyterian minister, who sets out to show how we are unified in Christ and holy unity is not ours to create or to destroy. She sets out to argue for holy disunity and how we can faithfully coexist without being unified with each chapter dedicated to a challenge that we all face such as fear, doubt and tension and how it divides us and how we can use it in the Church. Through Biblical text and her own personal struggles and journey, she presents how we should embrace our differences in our life experiences, our abilities, our limitations and in our failures, so we can further the message of salvation through Jesus Christ.

When I picked this book, I was intrigued by the idea of holy disunity. Ms. Williams makes a very convincing case of how the goal of “peace on earth” is not our mission. Holy Disunity is a very interesting read and while I disagreed with a few of Ms. Williams’ assertions, I found myself agreeing with her main points and thinking about how to use our differences as we strive to spread the Gospel. Just as Paul states in Romans 12:3-8 and in 1 Corinthians 12:27-31, we are all one part of the a greater whole and each with different gifts and different roles. At the end of the book, she presents questions for reflection and discussion. They were thought provoking and allows the reader to apply the ideas presented in each chapter. I would have liked to see the questions at the end of each chapter so that the reflections can be done after reading the designated chapters. Overall, I enjoyed this book and Ms. Williams is heartfelt and honest in her arguments and examples for holy disunity. It is a book I will read again in the future. I recommend Holy Disunity.

Holy Disunity:

How what separates us can save us

Is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook

Children are not an accessory

Hello everyone!

This is a letter to parents and non-parents. It is a letter of my thoughts and concerns about a recent trend I see in articles where people are complaining about parenthood. As a woman who struggles with pregnancy issues, I am deeply hurt by this and here’s why.

First, I would like to speak directly to parents. Over the last couple weeks, I’ve read a few articles in which mothers, specifically, are stating that they do not like their child because the child isn’t living up to the expectations she had for him or her. One particular article was about a mother who didn’t connect with her child because something was wrong and she didn’t know what. However, this mentality, to me, is simply wrong. A child is a unique human being. Unique in every way. He or she is not your mini-me, although some children mimic one or both parents. A child is not your carbon copy. He or she is half of you. He or she isn’t always going to like what you like or want to do what you want to do. I do not know what it is like to raise a child with special needs or challenges. And I applaud the parents who take the challenge and love the child as they are. I have never heard a parent of a child with special needs claim they could not love their child because of these challenges.

My daughter is 5 years old and is growing in her independence and I enjoy watching her make her own decision and, despite the craziness in my eyes, she goes with her choices. She’s sassy and sometimes talks back. She can be frustrating and obstinate but she is learning to create her own boundaries and limits. Yes, she likes to read like I do; however, I recognize that she might not want to read the same books I did at her age. She may discover her own childhood favorites. She likes some of the same things her father and I do; however, we did not force them on her. We introduced them to her and allowed her to grow to love them as we do. We realize that it could have gone the other way and she could have hated everything that we love.

Bottom line is you need to love your child for the unique human being that he or she is. Help them grow into the person that God has intended them to be. Introduce them to the wide world out there and let grow into the adults which will take over once we are old and gone. They may like what you like but if they don’t or they want to try new and different things, let them. You may discover you have the next great artist or musician or athlete on your hands. Something you won’t discover until you let them try and be who they are.

Second, I want to speak to the people considering having children. Some people, like me, have always known they wanted kids. I grew up around kids. I’ve been changing diapers and generally taking care of children since I was 10 years old. I’ve watched as my aunts and uncles interacting with their children. I’ve seen the good times and I’ve seen the stern disciplines and lectures. I knew parenting would be difficult but rewarding too. When I read an article in which a mother regretted having her children, my heart broke for her children. As a woman who has struggled, and continues to struggle, having children, it angers me to hear that a woman regrets having her children. A child should never be a regret. Yes, parenting is hard and it’s exhausting. You learn to live on little sleep because your baby is teething and can’t sleep and he or she is in pain. You learn to sleep in uncomfortable positions because your little one has had a nightmare and she has crawled into bed with you.

Right now, my husband and I are struggling to get our daughter to sleep in her own bed. She is afraid of the dark and she’s afraid that someone will come into her room while she’s asleep. Where her room is, she can hear people walk across the walkway to their apartments and it can be very noisy. It’s frustrating that she won’t lay down and go to sleep. But when she crawls into our bed and she curls up next to me with her head on my shoulder, I hold her tight as I cherish that she still wants to be next to me. I know one day she’ll be able to sleep on her own and I will still encourage her to do so. However, I will welcome the chance to hold her tight when I can.

Bottom line, if you are considering having children, think long and hard about how life will change with children. Nothing can really prepare you for kids. Babysitting someone else’s kids will give you a glimpse because all children will act and behave differently even within the same family. Some babies are a joy to be around and others are clingy and cry nonstop. If you are not willing to put someone else’s needs in front of your own wants and desires, then you need to put off having children until you feel you can do that. Because that little child depends on you for everything and you need to be prepare to do so.

Some people will say that life changes the moment a child is born. I say it’s the instant the test turns positive, life isn’t about you anymore. You need to be concerned with the developing person inside a woman’s body. Once that baby is born, you need to be able to put his or her needs in front of your own and learn to recognize the uniqueness of this new person in our world. For some people, parenting comes easy and for others it’s a challenge. Whatever category you may fall into, seriously consider what it means to be a parent and decide if it’s something you want or can do. I encourage many people to have children. Despite the frustration and sleepless nights, children are blessings. However, I recognize that parenting may not be for everyone. Please consider everything before having children: the good, the bad and the ugly. You may realize that having children isn’t for you or you will better prepare yourself for the ups and downs ahead.

Thank you for listening. I wish you all the best. 

Two new children's books reviews: "If you were me and lived in Australia" and "The Unlucky Teacher and her Koalas"

Today I have two new children’s books to review. Two books I would highly recommended to teachers and parents to introduce children to very important lessons. 

The first is from the “If you were me and lived in…” series by Carole P. Roman. Ms. Roman is a former teacher when she and her husband started a successful family business. She enjoys time with her grandchildren. She currently lives on Long Island with her husband. Her teaching career is reflected in this book due to the fun way she introduces the country and its culture.

This book is about the country of Australia. I really enjoyed this book. I think is a fun way of introducing different countries and cultures to children. The illustration were simple and colorful. The author included the phonetic pronunciations of new words such as Australia and Aussies. The book also introduces different aspects of the culture such as its major cities, the natural wonder like the Great Barrier Reef and a national holiday, January 26^th. This is a great book to introduce children to different counties. Ms. Roman has already published a book about Mexico and a new book about France is in the works. I look forward to getting these books and any new ones in this series. The recommended age for this book is 3-8 years old. I feel that 8 might be too old. I would put the age range at 3-5.  

Second book is “The story of the Unlucky Teacher and her koalas” by Nina Johnson. Ms. Johnson is a passionate teacher who taps into her students’ natural ability to learn. She is currently working as an academic literary coach for the Southeastern Region of Guilford County Schools in North Carolina. She uses her knowledge about the challenges facing students today and transforms it into a delightful story about meeting the challenge. 

The story takes place in a quaint little village called All-We-Do-Is-Test. She was the Unlucky Teacher because she taught children who weren’t “normal” and wouldn’t be able to pass the annual Big Mountain Climbing Contest. But on the day of the contest, the Unlucky Teacher’s students revealed something special and passed the test!

This book teaches the lesson of using the tools one has been given in order to meet a challenge and prevail. According to the author’s description, this book represents the challenge in America’s public schools. It illustrates the importance of having teachers who believe in their students to achieve their goals despite the challenges or limitations. The illustrations are beautifully done. The message may be too deep for younger readers. I would recommend 5-8 years old as the recommended age range. However, younger readers will story the story of the koalas despite not understanding the deeper meaning.

“If you were me and lived in Australia” is available at www.caroleproman.com and www.amazon.com. 

“The Unlucky Teacher and her Koalas is available at www.outskirtspress.com/theluckyteacher.

P.S. I would like to thank Carole P. Roman who sent all the goodies with her book. It was a awesome surprise and my daughter enjoys playing with them.