The Grumble Free Year: One family's journey to help others be grumble free

The Grumble Free Year: Twelve months, eleven family members and one impossible goal by Tricia Goyer is her family’s journey to attempt to grumble less and praise more. Before they set off on this seemingly impossible journey, Tricia and her husband, John, promise their kids that if they can achieve this goal, the family will go on a cruise. Their ten children agree to give it a try. The book is twenty chapters, separating into three parts: Gearing Up, The Challenge Begins, and Winding Down, Tricia Goyer details their planning, their successes as well as their failures and where the ideas need to be thrown out, added new ideas or improved upon original ones. At the end of each chapter, there are three Reflection Questions in which the reader can reflect on the topics discussed in each chapter and find the areas that need more attention or improvement. There is also a My Turn section in which the reader can apply the Grumble Free technique to their own journey. Using personal stories and well as relevant Bible verses, Tricia Goyer guides the reader to a grumble free year and beyond.

I was invited to become a member of the Grumble Free Year Launch team. Since I review books on a regular basis, I joined even though I was unfamiliar with Ms. Goyer’s work. I was curious about what this journey would be about. As I began, I was intrigued by her story as her younger children come to their family through adoption and the challenges they faced as the children were older adoptees. At the end of each chapter, I would thoughtfully answer the Reflection Questions and I begin to see where I could change my grumbly ways. Some of the challenges and methods do not apply to me…yet as my children are only 7 years old and 13 months. However, I now have a tool at my disposal in order to face those future grumble years by getting to the root of the grumbles. The Grumble Free Year is a wonderful book with heartfelt, personal and honest stories that shows that the goal of being grumble free isn’t easy, but it is rewarding. This book helped me realize where I am already working on my grumbling and the areas where I still need work. It is a book I will be visiting again and again as I need it. I highly recommend The Grumble Free Year.

The Grumble Free Year:

Twelve months, eleven family members, and one impossible goal

will be available November 5, 2019

in paperback, eBook and audiobook

I was Hungry: a real look at the American hunger crisis

I was Hungry: Cultivating Common Ground to End an American Crisis by Jeremy K. Everett is a deep look into the American hunger crisis in which millions of Americans go without food daily. Most of the hunger crisis is due to food insecurity, the lack of access to enough healthy food to live a healthy lifestyle, in which inadequate food is experienced episodically. For example, the food supply is fine for a family at the beginning of the month but soon runs out before the month is over. Everett confronts what we know about the food crisis in America as many families must face the decision whether to buy food or pay bills with food usually loses. Poverty is an extremely complex issue. He claims that Americans often think the poor are just lazy people who are looking for a handout. Everett puts forth that many of Americans that suffer from food insecurity are working families who are underemployed, having jobs that do not pay enough to cover all expenses. However, Everett doesn’t just point out the problem and say deal with it. He offers a plan, from his own experiences, on how we can come together as a nation to end hunger in America. He highlights where plans have succeeded and where plans have failed and how they could be improved.

I was Hungry is an interesting read with statistics I have heard before. Roughly 39.7 million Americans live in poverty with 12.9 million children living in food insecure households. He is critical of all politicians, church leaders and Americans who seem to be more content to bicker. He says, “Our political system has become toxic, with both sides preferring to cast stones at the other rather than coming together to find common ground for the common good.” While I agree with him that something needs to be done, unfortunately, not everyone agrees. He claims that the image of the “Welfare Queen” is a myth and while many people on SNAP food stamps are working families, the myth exists because there are examples in the real world. He also claims that the “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is a myth as well because it “does not apply to people who cannot afford boots.” More and more, the news media is carrying stories of the very people he is describing doing just that. They go from homeless to Harvard. Students who live and go to school in disadvantage areas are getting full ride scholarships to very prestigious schools. These students may be the exception; but to call it a “myth” when there are examples out there is shortsighted. Everett does come off, at times, as condescending and self-righteous at times, which he acknowledges, so I applaud that, he does presents a very real problem in our nation and offers real solutions and how we can come together as a community and a nation. I highly recommend I was Hungry.

I was Hungry:

Cultivating Common Ground to End an American Crisis

is available in hardcover, paperback and eBook.

The problem with generalizations

We live in a world in which so much information is thrown at us with amazing speed and our brains must quickly process this information. Sometimes generalizations help organize this information and other times it does great harm. I have a problem with generalizations and with the people who use them. Generalizations are statements or concepts which make an inference from specific cases. In other words, it is a broad statement about a group based on one individual from that group. It irritates me when sometime makes a generalization statement especially when I know individuals who do not fit the statement. You can know when you use generalizations is when you use the word “all.” What are generalizations? What is the problem with generalizations? How can we avoid them?

Generalizations can be used like stereotypes. Stereotypes are widely held but fixed and oversimplified images or ideas about a person due to their inclusion in a group or category. Sometimes the stereotypes are valid and true for one individual, but they can be false for others. There are five types of generalizations. First, racial profiling in which an entire race has a specific skill, like all Blacks are great athletes, or all Asians are very smart. Second, gender profiling in which members of this group behave in a certain way. For example, since Valentine’s Day was a couple days ago, all women want jewelry and expensive gifts. While I do know some women, who do expect to be showered with expensive gifts, I know a lot of women, myself included, who do not. Third, cultural profiling is basing everyone together based on their cultural or national identity. For example, all Irish are drunks, or all Jews are greedy. Fourth, profiling based on group identity. For example, all goths are depressed, or all geeks are socially awkward. Lastly, sexual profiling in which assumptions are made based on someone’s sexual preferences. For examples, all feminine men are gay, all masculine women are lesbian. 

The problem with generalization is that it lumps everyone who identify with a group with having a specific attribute. Stereotypes are quick tactics people use when talking about the problems of the world (Greene 2015). Some stereotypes seem harmless and even individuals in those groups make use of the generalizations for comic effect. Many comedians use stereotypes to make shed light on the stereotypes themselves. Humorist Mary Hirsch once said, “Humor is a rubber sword- it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.” Even positive stereotypes can be very hurtful and dangerous. People who don’t live up to positive stereotypes often feel like failures and those who do, don’t get the credit for the effort they put in (Devarajan 2018). A black athlete who is praised for his “natural talent” may feel his hours are practice are ignored. Even believing in the positive stereotypes, like a strong black woman, can lead to believing in the negative stereotypes, like all black men are deadbeat dads (Devarajan 2018). What stops us from believing negative stereotypes when we believe in positive ones? “Generalization is just another excuse to use stereotypes and it oversimplifies issues” (Greene 2015).

How do we avoid using generalizations? First, stop using the word “ALL.” Simple as that. When you use the word “all” you include everyone, and everyone may not fit. Not all Blacks are great athletes. Not all Asians are super smart. Not all Mexicans are here illegally. Not all whites are racists. Not all Muslims are terrorists and not all terrorists are Muslims. Second, pay attention to broad and generic statements. These statements tend to distort reality and often play on our emotions. I see these types of statements all the time in politics and religion especially in the media. It only takes a moment to stop and question the statement. Even if you ultimately believe it to be true, stop and analyze it first. Third, ask yourself for real life examples of those who fit the statement and those who do not. Challenge the statement. You may come up with more examples of those individuals who fit the statement because that is what you pay attention to; however, challenge yourself to find examples of those who don’t. You may find yourself seeing more and more examples of those who don’t fit the stereotypes.

In conclusion, generalizations are statements which are made about individuals within a group. Generalizations are made by race, gender, group identity, culture and sexuality. Negative and positive generalizations are hurt those who the statements are made, sometimes creating an image that individuals cannot escape or live up to. Avoiding generalizations is hard; but not impossible. It takes active awareness of when generalizations and stereotypes are used. I try my best to avoid thinking about people in terms of generalizations and I realize it is difficult. Sometimes the people who fit those generalizations are the ones we notice more but we might be surprised to find many individuals who don’t fit these statements. We need to be aware of these generalized statements.

 References

Devarajan, Kumari (February 17, 2018). ’Strong’ Black Woman? ‘Smart’ Asian Man? The Downside to Positive Stereotypes. www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2018/02/17/586181350/strong-black-woman-smart-asian-man-the-downside-to-positive-stereotypes. Retrieved February 14, 2019.

Greene, Ava (November 30, 2015). The Problem with Generalization www.theodysseyonline.com/generalization. Retrieved February 13, 2019.

Divided We Fall: a look into church division and what we can do about it

Divided We Fall: Overcoming a History of Christian Disunity by Luder G. Whitlock Jr is a look into the history of the Christian church and how disagreements and arguments have created division among Christians throughout the centuries. He begins with biblical foundations of faith and how humans as relational beings are designed for companionship and community. He takes an in-depth look into the historical events which have shaped the different denominations as we know them today. From the Apostolic Church to the Medieval Era to the Reformation. As he discusses the differences among the denominations, he focuses on the Presbyterian Church, which he is the most familiar with. The differences are more than doctrinal differences but cultural, economic and social differences. For example, the Presbyterian Church has 10 or more denominations that have developed since the arrival in the New World. The church separated into North and South denominations during the Civil War and failed to reunite when the war was over. Some denominations are divided along heritage identity i.e. Scottish and Irish congregations. Some division simply came about over the business matters. After he discusses where the church has lost its focus, he offers solutions to refocus and return to the united church as discussed in the Bible. It all begins with love, trust, understanding, kindness and the ability to function together despite our differences.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I enjoyed reading the history of the church and the changes to the church as society changed. I agreed with many of his points especially his assertion that he is a Christian without the label of a denomination, “I am happy to be a mere Christian without further appellation.” I too am happy to be merely a Christian. The clarification of what denomination I may or may not belong to is unimportant. Another point he made is “the closer you are to Christ, the more some issues fade in importance.” I wholeheartedly agree. The last year I committed to reading the Bible book by book and I found myself closer to Christ and to God than I have ever been before. The denominational differences and scrabbles do not matter to me anymore. I highly recommend this amazing book. Mr. Whitlock is honest about where the church has gone wrong and acknowledges the solutions he offers will be difficult for some to do but they are necessary for unity among believers. This book has a permanent place on my bookshelf.

Divided We Fall: Overcoming a History of Christian Disunity

is available in paperback and eBook