Near the Exit Travels with the Not so Grim Reaper: interesting perspectives on death across cultures

Near the Exit: Travels with the Not so Grim Reaper by Lori Erickson is an exploration of death from cultures around the world, both ancient and current. Ms. Erickson is deacon with the Episcopal Church as well as a travel writer and she uses both to examine how different cultures view and handle death. She travels to Egypt and views the pyramids. She learns that death is just one step in this life, according to the Ancient Egyptians. The afterlife is a journey itself with confessions and a heart test with Ma’at, the goddess of truth, harmony and justice. Ms. Erickson then examines the Buddhist approach to death as well as common customs within the Middle Ages when intellectuals would remind themselves that death comes to everyone. She visits the Maori in New Zealand and their cultures of being connected to death as they seek connections with their ancestors. Ms. Erickson also examines the Aztecs and Mayans cultures who viewed death very differently. She also examines the modern approach to death with nursing homes, hospice, the current trends in burials, funerals and grieving.

Near the Exit is an honest and often blunt look at death through the ages and cultures. Egyptians with intensive rituals to prepare one’s body for the afterlife to the Aztecs who practiced human sacrifices to bless their gods. Her observations about modern practices of death are very opening. She realizes it is a modern obsession with immorality as peoples of the ancient world understood that life was limited, and death came to all. It is an interesting read. Although she often distresses at some points and you wonder how this connects to the topic of death. She achieves her goal as she learns to live with death and hopes that we can do the same. I enjoyed it and highly recommend it.

Near the Exit

is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook

Land of Silence: a fictionalized story of one woman's journey to Jesus and ultimate healing

Land of Silence by Tessa Afshar is the story of Elianna, a young girl torn apart by guilt. When her younger brother, the pride and joy of her family, dies while under her care, Elianna seeks forgiveness by working in her father’s textile trade and caring for her grieving parents and younger sister. She finds herself in the sole charge of the business, her talent for design brings amazing success; however, despite her success and work ethic, she doesn’t receive the forgiveness she seeks. As her world unravels, she breaks off her engagement with a man she loves, sacrificing her feelings so that he can find a wife worth of him. Illness strikes, leaving her at the misery of doctors with different cures but to no avail. Soon she is isolating from everyone and everything she loves as Jewish law dictates. Soon whispers of a man who heals sweeps through the land. Can this Jesus be the answer to her healing? Can she finally find the life she always dreamed of?

Land of Silence is a fictionalized story of the woman who suffered from a bleeding issue. Her encounter with Jesus is told in Matthew 9:20-22; Mark 5:25-34, and Luke 8:43-48. All we know of her is what happens during her encounter with Jesus but what lead her to this state of desperation? A bleeding issue would have put her on the fringes of Jewish society as bleeding made her unclean. What happened to her after she is healed by Jesus? Ms. Afshar writes an amazing story of guilt, struggles, redemption and freedom that forgiveness can bring. At times you will sympathize with Elianna and other times you want to shake her and tell her to stop being so stubborn. I liked that everything about her changed after her encounter with Jesus. Her demeanor, her attitude and her outlook on her life and her future changed. I highly recommend Land of Silence.

Land of Silence

is available in paperback, eBook and audiobook

A few thoughts on turning 40

Yesterday I turned 40. I know some women, and men, would run and hide before announcing their age; however, age is just a number. Many people have asked me if I was scared to turn 40. I’m not. Age is a matter of perspective. You are as old or as young as you feel physical as well mentally. Looking back on my life so far, there are very few regrets. A few things I would change or do better, but no real regrets as every decision as led me to the life I have now. Here are a few things I have learned over my 40 years.

1. Do not compromise your beliefs, morals or philosophy for anyone. You can change your mind but do so without coercion or threat.

2. Actions speak volumes and words are empty when actions don’t back them up. Show gratitude especially to those who go out of their way to help you. When you borrow money, pay it back. Don’t make promises you can’t or won’t keep.

3. Face your fears. You may find it wasn’t as bad as you thought, and you’ll be stronger for it.

4. Learn to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. I have always hated confrontation, and still do, but I have learned that my fear of confronting someone only hurts me in the long run and allows others to continue behaviors that hurt us. Don’t let people guilt you into questioning or eliminating a boundary. They are there for a reason.

5. Plan for the future, expect the unexpected but don’t forget to live for today. Life is a roller coaster with its twists and turns, ups and downs and speed, especially speed. Years go by fast. In a blink of an eye, I’ve been married for 10 years and it feels as if it was just yesterday. To quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

6. God doesn’t always give us what we want when we want it. But He will give us what we need when we need it.

7. I know people hate to hear this but…Everything happens for a reason. Whether it is a direct result of our own decisions or someone else’s actions, our troubles, heartaches, are lessons and experiences that God will use in the future. It could to help us avoid these events in the future or it could be to help someone else through the same experience.  

8. Follow your heart. You like something, embrace it. You love certain style of clothes, wear there. Don’t follow trends or societal dictates simply because society tells you that you need to.

9. Follow your first gut instinct. It is usually right in the first place. Learn to listen to the little voice in your head that tells you something’s wrong. Learn to recognize red flags and don’t ignore them.

10. You can decide who you allow in your life. Just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you have to have a close, or even a relationship at all, with them. A toxic person is toxic regardless of the relationship. I don’t care if someone is a friend, a sibling, a parent. If that person hurts you in any way, physically or mentally, you are allowed to say enough’s enough and close the door on that relationship. Surround yourself with people who love you, support you and will lovingly correct you when you are wrong.

11. Find yourself a partner who is your best friend first. Someone you can laugh with, have deep conversations with. Someone you can cry with. Someone you can share your deepest secrets, thoughts, fears and dreams and know they will never tell another soul or hold it against you. Someone you can tease, be sarcastic with, even argue with but at the end of the day, he or she will kiss you goodnight and say, “I love you.” Sexual attraction is important but it’s not everything. And say “I love you” often. It’s scary at first but it gets easier

12. Be humble. Admit when you are human and will make mistakes. Not just to others but to yourself as well. Mistakes are failures to be used as stepping stones to future success. You don’t have to have all the answers, just know where to find them when you need them.

13. Talk to your elders. One main regret in my life is that I didn’t talk with my grandfathers more. My parental grandfather lived in another state, so distance made it easy to not talk. I grew up with my maternal grandfather more and I found him very intimidating and I was very shy. Now, as an adult, there is so much I wish I asked. It’s funny though, he has been gone for almost 23 years and I can still feel his strong hugs every now and then.

14. Life isn’t fair. Sometimes we get rewarded for our good deeds and sometimes we don’t. The trick is to roll with the punches. Learn to deal with the things you can and let go of the things you can’t. You cannot fix other people’s problems. Leave that to them. You may advise or suggest but the ultimate solution must be their actions. Just like your problems are yours to fix.

15. Forgive. Not just for those who hurt you but for your own wellbeing. Unforgiveness is like a stone around your neck. It will drag you down, turn you bitter. It is like a thorn in your heart that will fester and do you more harm than the original injury. And don’t hate. You may dislike someone or someone and that’s ok. But don’t hate. Hate is another thing that can turn you bitter and cold.  

In conclusion, turning 40 is a milestone that some never see. I count myself fortunate as I am healthy, and my family is healthy. As I look back over my life, there is no time than now that I’d rather be. I am stronger than my younger self. I am wiser than my younger self and I hope to pass on my lessons to my daughters, so they can be better prepared to deal with life’s twists and turns. Turning 40 isn’t something to be feared. It is to be celebrated. I’d rather be 40 and married to my wonderful husband and have my two beautiful daughters than be 21 again. I look forward to my next 40 years.

September: Classical Music Appreciation Month

According to National Day Calendar.com, September is Classical Music Appreciation Month. I love classical music. It is great music to relax by, to get energized, and much more than just instrumental music. From the Medieval era to the Romantic period of the late 19^th century, classical music has brought advancements in instruments, musical tone and expression with each style reflecting different periods of history. It isn’t just music of the past but music which has led to other musical genres. It is music that can be enjoyed today as it was many years ago. Music which has led to the advancement of instrument we still play today. Let’s dive into a brief review of each period and the importance it has on the development of music and its enjoyment.

The Medieval era is generally considered to be between 500-1400 CE. Music during this era was heavily connected with the church. Liturgical (sacred) music was performed in church and was mostly vocal with choral music and chants. A chant is monophonic, meaning single melody with no accompaniment or instruments and were distinctive by regions. In Spain and Portugal, the Mozarabic chant was influenced by North African music. In Milan, the popular chant was the Ambrosian chant named for St Ambrose. The Roman Catholic Church began to standardize the Mass and chants through the combined efforts of Pope Gregory I (540-604) and Charlemagne (742-814). According to music historian, the Gregorian chant developed from the Gallican chant from Gaul (modern day France) and the Roman chant. The music from the Medieval era is important because it began the foundation for music notation. Music could be shared between musicians and choral groups. The rhythmic notations of musical notes and rests first appeared with formal structure between 1130-1300.

The Renaissance (1400-1600 CE) was a period of great discovery in science, literature and in music. The invention of the printing press and helped distribute music far and wide across Europe. Music became more than just for church. It became music to enjoy in the home and in the community. Music began to have a variety in range, rhythm, harmony and form. It is also the period in which tonality (musical keys) began to develop. It became a vehicle for personal expression. One of the most famous Renaissance composers, John Dunstaple (or Dunstable) (c. 1390-1453) was an English composer of polyphonic music. Numerous copies of his music have been found in Italian and German, which is proof that his fame was widespread. Later in the Renaissance period saw the rise of English Madrigal music around 1588 which is an a cappella style with 3-6 voices. Many instruments we know today originated in the Renaissance period. For example, organs, trumpets, tambourine, and the bagpipe. Other instruments would be used to develop future instrument such as the viol which had six strings and played with a bow. It was like a cello.

The Baroque period (1600-1750 CE) followed and the musical style was more elaborate and ornate with the use of harmony rather than modality. This period saw the development of the concerto, cantata, and the sonata. Chamber music was a common style at this time with professional musicians expected to be accomplished improvisers. Dance suites were also popular which were designed for listening rather than dancing. Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a dance suite known as partitas. Further advancements were made with instruments. The harpsichord, an instrument like the piano, was a very popular instrument for the autocracy to play in their homes and for the entertainment of their guests. Other famous pieces from this period are Georg Frideric Handel’s Messiah (1741) and Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons (1725). the Four Seasons is a group of four violin concertos. My particular favorite, and many others as well, is the “Spring” concerto which conjures images of flowing creeks and the singing birds as winter breaks away to the warmth of spring.

The Classical period (1750/1775-1820) is characterized by simple, cleaner music which focused more on melody than the Baroque period. Woodwind instruments were added to the orchestra. This is the period most people will think of when they hear “classical music” with popular composers like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Ludwig Van Beethoven. Some music historians see Beethoven as a Romantic composer (which I will discuss next), other view him as the bridge between the Classical and Romantic periods. The Classical period had many great composers who are often left behind with the popularity of Mozart and Beethoven. Frank Joseph Haydn (1732-1809) was known as the Father of the Symphony and Father of the String Quartet as he composed over 100 symphonies and 60 string quartets. Muzio Clementi (1752-1832) was a composer I was not familiar with until I did my research for this post. He is known as the Father of the Pianoforte as he revolutionized the art of playing the piano, techniques which are still used today. Lastly, Antonio Salieri (1750-1825) who became famous as a jealous rival of Mozart; however, he was an accomplished composer in his own right and gave music composition lessons to Beethoven.

The Romantic period (1820-1910) saw the growth of the orchestra with the expansion of the woodwind and brass sections with music which was very expressive and emotional. The composers of this period, such as Chopin, Liszt, Wagner, Tchaikovsky and Brahms, the music had a new preoccupation with nature and fascination with the past and legends and myths. Chopin was known for nocturnes. He would publish 18 in his lifetime, three more would be published posthumously. Music meant to represent the fields and forest. Wagner would write Ride of the Valkyries for his opera, Die Walkure, with its dramatic notes represents the mythological Valkyries as they ride over the battlefields choosing warriors to take to Valhalla and those who will remain on Earth. And almost all mothers have sung or hummed Brahms’ Lullaby (1868) to their child as they rocked them to sleep. It is still a popular song to sing to a baby at bedtime. The Romantic period would give away to more experimental music with the emergence of Jazz in America in approximately in 1919.

In conclusion, Sir Isaac Newton said in 1675, “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” We discover new truths by building on previous discoveries. It is true with music. With geniuses like Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin and others who attempt to play instruments and notes in new ways helped developed the music we know and love. Classical music isn’t just wordless music. It is music which invokes passion and other emotions. It can help us imagine the beauty and power of nature. It is music that helped bring our favorite genres today. I encourage everyone to learn about these composers, their music, their advancements and you will see how musicians of today have built new music from their genius.

For Further Reading

Muzio Clementi https://www.britannica.com/biography/Muzio-Clementi

The Greatest Composers of the Classical Period https://www.liveabout.com/top-classical-period-composers-724098

Classical Music Month https://nationaldaycalendar.com/classical-music-month-september/

The Winemaker''s Wife: a beautiful story during a horrible time in history

The Winemaker’s Wife by Kristin Harmel is a story of war, of survival, of betrayal and of redemption. The story opens in May 1940, Ines Chauveau and her husband, Michel have been married for almost a year. They live among the vineyards of the Champagne regions and produce some of the finest Champagne. News comes to them that the Germans have invaded France and Michel begins his preparations. Fast forward to June 2019, Liv Kent is 41 years old, jobless, childless and on the verge of divorce when her eccentric grandmother, Edith Thierry, arrives and takes to her Paris. The story travels back and forth between 1940-1943 as Ines, Michel and their friends, Theo Laurent, the head winemaker and his wife, Celine, deal with the German occupation and June 2019 as Liv is trying to figure out what her Grandma Edith needs to tell her but seems very reluctant to do so. Liv meets Julien Cohn, a family friend and lawyer who knows parts of Edith’s story but can’t reveal what he knows without betrayal attorney-client privilege. What horrors do Ines, Michel, Theo and Celine must endure in order to survive? What is the connection to Liv and Edith now?

Last year, I reviewed Ms. Harmel’s The Room on Rue Amelie and loved it. When I had the opportunity to read The Winemaker’s Wife, I eagerly looked forward to it. Both books feature events surrounding the French Resistance between World War II. While I enjoyed The Room on Rue Amelie, I loved The Winemaker’s Wife! This book was filled with drama, action, intrigue and tears from the opening chapter to the closing pages. I enjoyed every character and loved how they evolved and did their part during the war. There are great moments which I can’t discuss as it will give away major plot twists, but it is a story of great endurance and survival. Most American history class teach World War II with a brief synopsis of the war before 1941 when the Americans officially entered the war, so I enjoyed reading about the French Resistance and the underground which fought against German occupation. One of my favorite quotes from the book is from Grandma Edith who says, “Many people lose more than they can image, and they find a way to carry one.” This statement certainly describes the individuals who fought against unbelievable odds to survive. I highly, highly recommend The Winemaker’s Wife. It is an amazing, beautiful story with twists and turns that just when you think you see where the story is heading, you’re wrong! It will not disappoint!

The Winemaker’s Wife

is available in hardcover, eBook and audiobook

The Beekeeper of Aleppo: heartbreaking story of loss and love

The Beekeeper of Aleppo by Christy Lefteri is the story of Nuri Ibrahim, a Syrian refugee in England. He and his wife, Afra are trying to claim asylum. As they go through the process, Nuri recalls his life in Syria as a beekeeper with his cousin, Mustafa and the turning point when his beloved country was no longer safe for him or Afra. Mustafa journeys ahead to England and eagerly waits for him there. The story switches back and forth between the present day in England and Nuri’s recounting their journey as refugees. From being smuggled out of the country under the darkness of night to being held as a camp in Greece while their request is processed. Nuri sees the different people who are running from horrors in their home countries. He hears the stories of the horrors they each suffered. He even witnesses horrors himself inside the camp. Will they be safe once again? Will Nuri and Afra be granted asylum? Will they be reunited with Mustafa?

The Beekeeper of Aleppo is a beautiful story of the human suffering that the political warfare creates. A man who lived a simple life finds himself running for his life because he refused to take up arms. He is a man who is battling his own demons and memories as he tries to take care of his wife in a country which looks at them with suspicion. It is a book that needs to read slowly as you take in the scene, the situation and the actions the characters take as they try to survive. According to the author’s afterword, she was inspired to write this story after she was a volunteer at a UNICEF refugee center. Ms. Lefteri truly compares the desperation of the situation as well as the faint sliver of hope that they can live in peace once again. I highly recommend The Beekeeper of Aleppo!

The Beekeeper of Aleppo

is available in hardcover, paperback, eBook and audiobook

I was Hungry: a real look at the American hunger crisis

I was Hungry: Cultivating Common Ground to End an American Crisis by Jeremy K. Everett is a deep look into the American hunger crisis in which millions of Americans go without food daily. Most of the hunger crisis is due to food insecurity, the lack of access to enough healthy food to live a healthy lifestyle, in which inadequate food is experienced episodically. For example, the food supply is fine for a family at the beginning of the month but soon runs out before the month is over. Everett confronts what we know about the food crisis in America as many families must face the decision whether to buy food or pay bills with food usually loses. Poverty is an extremely complex issue. He claims that Americans often think the poor are just lazy people who are looking for a handout. Everett puts forth that many of Americans that suffer from food insecurity are working families who are underemployed, having jobs that do not pay enough to cover all expenses. However, Everett doesn’t just point out the problem and say deal with it. He offers a plan, from his own experiences, on how we can come together as a nation to end hunger in America. He highlights where plans have succeeded and where plans have failed and how they could be improved.

I was Hungry is an interesting read with statistics I have heard before. Roughly 39.7 million Americans live in poverty with 12.9 million children living in food insecure households. He is critical of all politicians, church leaders and Americans who seem to be more content to bicker. He says, “Our political system has become toxic, with both sides preferring to cast stones at the other rather than coming together to find common ground for the common good.” While I agree with him that something needs to be done, unfortunately, not everyone agrees. He claims that the image of the “Welfare Queen” is a myth and while many people on SNAP food stamps are working families, the myth exists because there are examples in the real world. He also claims that the “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is a myth as well because it “does not apply to people who cannot afford boots.” More and more, the news media is carrying stories of the very people he is describing doing just that. They go from homeless to Harvard. Students who live and go to school in disadvantage areas are getting full ride scholarships to very prestigious schools. These students may be the exception; but to call it a “myth” when there are examples out there is shortsighted. Everett does come off, at times, as condescending and self-righteous at times, which he acknowledges, so I applaud that, he does presents a very real problem in our nation and offers real solutions and how we can come together as a community and a nation. I highly recommend I was Hungry.

I was Hungry:

Cultivating Common Ground to End an American Crisis

is available in hardcover, paperback and eBook.