Tamar, daughter of King David: a story of injustice and the consequences of sin

Tamar was the daughter of King David. Her story is told in 2 Samuel 13:1-22. It is a hard story to study as it could still easily occur to someone we know and care for. Tamar was a beautiful woman with a bright future ahead of her. Until she was savagely raped by her half brother, Amnon, and let down by her father when he does nothing to punish him. She is left broken and an outcast as her hopes for a marriage and a future is taken away from her due to one man’s lust. It is only when her brother, Absalom, takes matters into his own hands to see that Amnon is punished. What were the events that led to the rape? What is rape and what does God’s word say about it? How can we help a victim? 

Tamar was a beautiful young woman, destined for a marriage designed for political alliances. Amnon was her half brother and David’s eldest son and heir. To say he was used to getting his way would be understatement. One day, he was despondent, restless because he was desperately in love with Tamar, his half sister. Pretending to be ill, he asked that Tamar come to his bedside and care for him. When she arrives, he tries to lure her into his bed. She refuses which infuriates Amnon that he rapes her. Afterward his infatuations turned to hatred, Amnon tossed Tamar out of his rooms, blaming her for what he had done. Traumatized and grieved, Tamar wanders the streets until her brother, Absalom, finds her and learns about the terrible events. When King David finds out about the rape of his daughter at the hands of his son, he is furious. However, he does nothing. Furious at the lack of action by his father, Absalom vows revenge for his sister and bides his time, waiting for his chance. Two years later, the opportunity came and Absalom killed Amnon. 

Rape is a type of sexual assault that usually involves sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration without consent, with physical force, coercion or abuse of authority (Humboldt). It is a serious crime with an estimated victim every 68 seconds in America (RAINN.org). And the majority of assaults will happen at or near the victim’s home. Rape is the most underreported crime around the world. There are many reasons why a victim would not report a rape: 1) fear of retaliations, 2) not wanting the offender to get into trouble, especially when the offender is a family member or friend, 3) fear of getting in trouble themselves, and 4) not trusting law enforcement (RAINN). God’s law took the matter of rape very seriously, calling it detestable. In Deuteronomy 22:25-27 there are safeguards to victims from punishment even calling for the offender to be put to death. In this text, the Hebrew verb, chazaq is used, which implies violence. “Chazaq can refer to the violent overpowering of another person” and in this verse, the “describes coercive force, i.e. rape” (McCoy, 2017). 

Unfortunately, rape is an experience that will stay with a victim. However, it does not need to forever define their future. As a valued and wonderful creation of God (Psalm 139), a victim can find hope. What can we do to help? First, assure them that it takes great courage to open up about rape and that they are not alone. Psalm 9:9 says “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Second, assure them that they are not at fault. A victim does not “ask for it.” While rape is a sin, it is not their sin. It was a sin against them. Even though Amnon blamed Tamar for the rape, she was not at fault. All she did was serve food to her “sick” brother. Third, be a safe place for them to talk when they need it. Sometimes just talking about it is the biggest healing experience. Fourth, check in periodically. Remind them you are still there for support, comfort and a sounding board. Lastly, if you feel they need professional help, contact a rape hotline and organizations for recommendations. 

Tamar was an innocent young woman who had no idea how much danger she was in when she came to take care of her “ill” brother.  And for her father to do nothing only added to her trauma. Did David favor his son over his daughter? Maybe. Or was his moral compass so damaged from his own sexual affair that he felt he couldn’t confront and punish Amnon? Possibly. Whatever his reasons, David’s inaction would lead to the destruction of two more lives as Absalom took matters into his own hands. Rape is a violent act against another. It is a crime that goes unreported for many reasons. It can leave a victim without a sense of safety and needless blame. But there is hope for victims. There are resources for victims and it can start with us. Be a support and comfort for victims. 

National Sexual Assault Hotline

800-656-HOPE (4673)

References

Humboldt (no date). Stop Rape: Response and Prevention. Humboldt State University. https://stoprape.humboldt.edu/statistics. Retrieved November 21, 2021. 

McCoy, Katie (December 11, 2017). God is not silent: What the Bible teaches about sexual assault. The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. https://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/god-is-not-silent-what-the-bible-teaches-about-sexual-assault/. Retrieved November 28, 2021. 

RAINN (no date). Statistics. RAINN. https://www.rainn.org/statistics. Retrieved November 21, 2021.