Rizpah: one mother's grief and unfailing vigilance

Losing a child is a parent’s worst nightmare. It seems to be against the natural order of things for a child to die before a parent. And most parents are always prepared to go first. It doesn’t always work that way. Rizpah was a concubine of King Saul and mother of two sons. She would face a parent's worst nightmare. What many would think would destroy any mother, Rizpah displayed great courage and loyalty after the death of her sons. She couldn’t stop the political games that would take their lives but she was determined to protect them after death. What were the events that led to her sons’ deaths? What were her motivations for her vigil? What lessons can we take away from her story? Her brief story is told in 2 Samuel 21:1-14. 

She watches from a hill as seven men are executed. Among the dead are her two sons. Executed for their father’s crimes. Their bodies left to rot on the hillside. Her grief is intensified as her sons are “ritually slaughtered in a shocking episode that is part human sacrifice and part sanctioned execution” (Smith and McCreary). Rizpah prepares to sit and wait. Why were these men executed? In Joshua 9:16-20, Joshua had promised peace with the Gibeonites but King Saul did not keep that promise as he had many murdered. Possibly in an attempt to annihilate them. The Gibeonites asked King David for seven of Saul’s male offspring as retribution (2 Samuel 21:6). They asked the men be killed and exposed before the Lord. David agreed. Scriptures don’t say if these men shared in Saul’s guilt, their own guilt may have been as Saul’s male descendants. Rizpah began her vigil. She sits for several months from the month of Nissan (March/April) to Tishrei  (September/October), only moving to keep the scavenger animals from the bodies. Her vigil moves King David who collected the bones of these men as well as the bones of Saul and his son Jonathan and saw that they were given a proper burial. 

Losing a child is a unique sorrow. There is nothing that can compare to this grief. The love of a grieving mother is a force to be reckoned with. A force so powerful that nothing can stand in its way. Rizpah is an example of a mother’s love and devotion. She would spend six months by her sons’ side. She would fight off the birds and other animals from defiling her sons’ bodies. Did she even question the wisdom of her actions? Did she think anyone would care? Or did she only think that her sons’ were there and so would she? When I think of Rizpah never leaving her sons’ side, I think of another mother who is a portrait of motherly devotion. In the 1989 movie, Steel Magnolias, M'Lynn Eatenton (played by Sally Field) never leaves her daughter’s side, as she lay comatose.  She is also the last to leave the gravesite after the funeral. Rizpah also serves as an example of a shmirah. In Jewish tradition, shmirah is a guardian who stays with a body from the time of death to the time of burial (Katz, 2016). Psalms would be read and prayers offered as the body is prepared for burial. Rizpah serving as a shimirah shows us that bodies are not just a pile of bones and flesh when they die. They are still people. They are still someone’s parent, child, a loved one worthy of care. 

Grief is a strange journey that many of us are not prepared for. Grief for a child is the loneliest and most bleak journey one hopes to never take. Through Rizpah’s silent grieving, we see a powerful testimony to a mother’s pain, love and courage (Smith and McCreary). Her consistency and tenacity to never give up is a testament to the power of a mother’s love. It is also a lesson that God can turn our most painful moments into our greatest triumphs (Smith and McCreary). As Rizpah grieved her sons, her devotion moved King David to do the right thing for these men and give them a proper burial. She is an image of grief with grace and dignity. She may have received pity as people observed her on that hillside for six months. Maybe she received ridicule as well. It most likely didn’t matter to Rizpah. What mattered was her sons were there and needed protection. For many bereaved parents, grief is a pendulum that swings from intense fresh feelings to almost feeling normal again with no warning when it would swing again. It is a constant balancing act of grief and happiness. Did Rizpah ever feel happy again? We don’t know. As quietly as she entered this story, she left to live out her life, hopefully in peace that she fought for her sons in death the way she couldn’t fight in life. 

Rizpah’s story is one of grief and determination to protect one’s children. It is devastating for a parent when a child dies. It does not matter if that child was young or an adult on his or her own, it is a loss that parents aren’t prepared for. For six months, Rizpah stood vigil at her sons’ bodies, fighting for them the way she couldn’t fight in life.. Her dedication moves King David to give the men a proper burial. Despite the political motivations behind their deaths, they were still someone’s loved one. Rizpah’s story is a reminder of that especially today of political discord. When someone who is disliked has died, the ugly and cruel comments fly and people will forget that despite someone’s political commentary, they had loved ones who are mourning their loss. 

References

Katz, Ariana (December 12, 2016) Rizpah, Guardian of the Dead. Death and the Maiden. https://deadmaidens.com/2016/12/12/rizpah-guardian-of-the-dead/ Retrieved January 24, 2022. 

Smith, Rev. Terry Ann, Ph.D and McCreary, Rev. Micah L, Ph.D. (no date). Rizpah: Tragedy into Triumph. Faithward. https://www.faithward.org/rizpah-turning-tragedy-into-triumph/. Retrieved January 24, 2022. 

Tamar, daughter of King David: a story of injustice and the consequences of sin

Tamar was the daughter of King David. Her story is told in 2 Samuel 13:1-22. It is a hard story to study as it could still easily occur to someone we know and care for. Tamar was a beautiful woman with a bright future ahead of her. Until she was savagely raped by her half brother, Amnon, and let down by her father when he does nothing to punish him. She is left broken and an outcast as her hopes for a marriage and a future is taken away from her due to one man’s lust. It is only when her brother, Absalom, takes matters into his own hands to see that Amnon is punished. What were the events that led to the rape? What is rape and what does God’s word say about it? How can we help a victim? 

Tamar was a beautiful young woman, destined for a marriage designed for political alliances. Amnon was her half brother and David’s eldest son and heir. To say he was used to getting his way would be understatement. One day, he was despondent, restless because he was desperately in love with Tamar, his half sister. Pretending to be ill, he asked that Tamar come to his bedside and care for him. When she arrives, he tries to lure her into his bed. She refuses which infuriates Amnon that he rapes her. Afterward his infatuations turned to hatred, Amnon tossed Tamar out of his rooms, blaming her for what he had done. Traumatized and grieved, Tamar wanders the streets until her brother, Absalom, finds her and learns about the terrible events. When King David finds out about the rape of his daughter at the hands of his son, he is furious. However, he does nothing. Furious at the lack of action by his father, Absalom vows revenge for his sister and bides his time, waiting for his chance. Two years later, the opportunity came and Absalom killed Amnon. 

Rape is a type of sexual assault that usually involves sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration without consent, with physical force, coercion or abuse of authority (Humboldt). It is a serious crime with an estimated victim every 68 seconds in America (RAINN.org). And the majority of assaults will happen at or near the victim’s home. Rape is the most underreported crime around the world. There are many reasons why a victim would not report a rape: 1) fear of retaliations, 2) not wanting the offender to get into trouble, especially when the offender is a family member or friend, 3) fear of getting in trouble themselves, and 4) not trusting law enforcement (RAINN). God’s law took the matter of rape very seriously, calling it detestable. In Deuteronomy 22:25-27 there are safeguards to victims from punishment even calling for the offender to be put to death. In this text, the Hebrew verb, chazaq is used, which implies violence. “Chazaq can refer to the violent overpowering of another person” and in this verse, the “describes coercive force, i.e. rape” (McCoy, 2017). 

Unfortunately, rape is an experience that will stay with a victim. However, it does not need to forever define their future. As a valued and wonderful creation of God (Psalm 139), a victim can find hope. What can we do to help? First, assure them that it takes great courage to open up about rape and that they are not alone. Psalm 9:9 says “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Second, assure them that they are not at fault. A victim does not “ask for it.” While rape is a sin, it is not their sin. It was a sin against them. Even though Amnon blamed Tamar for the rape, she was not at fault. All she did was serve food to her “sick” brother. Third, be a safe place for them to talk when they need it. Sometimes just talking about it is the biggest healing experience. Fourth, check in periodically. Remind them you are still there for support, comfort and a sounding board. Lastly, if you feel they need professional help, contact a rape hotline and organizations for recommendations. 

Tamar was an innocent young woman who had no idea how much danger she was in when she came to take care of her “ill” brother.  And for her father to do nothing only added to her trauma. Did David favor his son over his daughter? Maybe. Or was his moral compass so damaged from his own sexual affair that he felt he couldn’t confront and punish Amnon? Possibly. Whatever his reasons, David’s inaction would lead to the destruction of two more lives as Absalom took matters into his own hands. Rape is a violent act against another. It is a crime that goes unreported for many reasons. It can leave a victim without a sense of safety and needless blame. But there is hope for victims. There are resources for victims and it can start with us. Be a support and comfort for victims. 

National Sexual Assault Hotline

800-656-HOPE (4673)

References

Humboldt (no date). Stop Rape: Response and Prevention. Humboldt State University. https://stoprape.humboldt.edu/statistics. Retrieved November 21, 2021. 

McCoy, Katie (December 11, 2017). God is not silent: What the Bible teaches about sexual assault. The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. https://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/god-is-not-silent-what-the-bible-teaches-about-sexual-assault/. Retrieved November 28, 2021. 

RAINN (no date). Statistics. RAINN. https://www.rainn.org/statistics. Retrieved November 21, 2021. 

First and Second Chronicles: the power of prayer

First and Second Chronicles are a brief retelling of the events which occur in 1 and 2 Kings. First Chronicles serves as a commentary on the events of 2 Samuel and emphasizes the religious history of Judah and Israel. Second Chronicles serves as the commentary for 1 and 2 Kings and highlights the importance of the temple and the religious revivals in Judah while the kingdom of Israel in ignored. As I read through these books, one thing stood out: prayer. In particular three prayers which are examples of how God can work in our lives if we ask him. With an honorable man named Jabez, we see the power of a simple prayer. With King David, we see a formula in which to pray. With King Asa, we see asking for the impossible in prayer can allow it to become possible.

Jabez is a man who is remembered for a simple prayer with a big impact. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10, “Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.” By asking God to bless him, Jabez was acknowledging God as the true center of his life and his work. When we pray for God’s blessings, as Jabez did, we need to pray that He take his rightful place as Lord of our homes, our workplace and our lives. The protection Jabez was asking for wasn’t just from the outside world which is full of evil and pain but also internally. The evil and pain which starts from within us in our motives, desires, thoughts and actions. This simple prayer is an example of what can happen when we recognize that God provides all. He provides the means for success, protection from harm and guidance in our lives. If we just ask him to.

David was known as a man of prayer. His prayer in 1 Chronicles 29:10-19 is an example of how we can pray. First, he opens his prayer with praise. In verse 10, he says, “Praise be to you, O Lord, God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting.” Second, he recognizes God’s power and glory. He recognizes the God is powerful, majestic and splendor (verse 11). He acknowledges that everything comes from the Lord from their wealth to their honor (verse 12). Third, he prays for the people. In verse 18, David prays that God would “keep this desire in the hearts of your people forever” and “keep their hearts loyal” to Him. He also prays for his son, Solomon, the next king of Israel in verse 19, “And give my son, Solomon the wholehearted devotion to keep your commands, requirements and decrees.”  Wholehearted devotion is complete dedication to God. To serve God above all else. David’s prayer follows a simple formula: praise to God, recognize God’s power, and make our requests. When we praise God and recognize his power before we make our request, we acknowledge that God has the authority to grant our requests and everything we have comes from him.

Asa was a king up against the Cushite army. Knowing that his army had no chance against this army without the power of God, he calls out to Him. His prayer in 2 Chronicles 14:11 says, “Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you, in your name, we have come against this vast army. O Lord, you are our God, do not let man prevail against you.” The Lord provided the victory (verse 12). Asa uses a similar formula as King David. He praised God and acknowledged His power. Then he made his request. King Asa is an example of when facing battles that seem impossible, don’t give up. To paraphrase a common saying, when the going gets tough, the tough get praying. Asa knew he could not do it on his own. He need the power and glory of God behind every swing of his army’s swords. The secret of victory is first to admit the futility of unaided human effort and to trust God to do the rest. God’s power works best though those who recognize their limitations. It is those who think they are able do anything without God are the ones in the greatest danger.

In conclusion, it may seem too simple, prayer. Just ask and you can receive. However, prayer is the most powerful tool a believer has. Prayer is a direct connection to God. When we pray, we have the ear of the Creator of Heaven and Earth. We have the attention of the Father of Lights. When we pray, we have the power to do the impossible. Jabez asked for God’s blessings and protection in his life. And he received it. David asked for hearts of Israel to remain with God forever and that his son would be completely dedicated to serving Him. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen quite like that. Asa asked for God’s help with an unbeatable enemy and he got it. You may say, wait a minute. Two prayers were answered and one wasn’t. Well, that’s another post for another day. The point is all three men humbled themselves before the Lord and made their requests. They knew that only God had the power to fulfill their request and they left it all in God’s hands. Imagine what we could do we did the same.