My favorite sound in the world

Laughter is one of the greatest sounds in the world. The deep laugh that causes your muscles to ache. It can help lighten moods and break the tension. Laughter can make all your troubles disappear even for a moment. After a good laugh, you forget your bills, your worries and the troubles of the world. Laughter is universal. It is a mechanism that every culture in the world has. Laughter helps increase blood flow, reduce stress hormones, release endorphins and help relieve physical pain. It has been discovered as truly the best medicine. Even the some of the darkest movies have moments of laughter.

My most favorite sound in the world is laughter. I love my daughter’s laughter. I wish I could record it and post it. She has so many different laughs and each one brings a smile to my face. She has a laugh when she cracks up. You know the one where you throw yourself back and then forward, slapping your knee. She does that! Especially when we’ve figured out what she’s trying to say. She has a laugh when she knows that she’s about to get in trouble and she laughs hopeful to divert your anger and you’ll forget her punishment. It’s moments like that that I have a hard time keeping a straight face. Even through my darkest moments, my daughter’s laughter can help me smile through my tears. It’s like she can almost read my mood and know that mommy needs a pick me up.

I love hearing people laugh. Laughter helps make the world right even if it’s just for a few moments. My best childhood memories are family gathered around a table or a campfire laughing at family stories. Laughter has help me through my darkest moments. When I’m feeling depressed or upset, I just put on my favorite comedy shows. “Friends” or “The Big Bang Theory” works great for me, even though I’ve seen the episodes countless times.

What are your favorite sounds? What sounds can lift your spirits and help you feel like you don’t have a care in the world? 

"The Light Between Oceans" by M.L. Stedman: a story of a life-altering choice

The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman is a heartbreaking story in which no one comes out the winner. It is a story of choices and consequences. The book is told in three parts. The story opens on April 27, 1926, when Tom Sherbourne, the lighthouse keeper on Janus Rock, makes a horrifying discovering. A boat has washed ashore with a dead body and a crying infant.

Tom Sherbourne is a World War I vet, a decorated hero who would rather forget the events that occurred in Europe. He makes his way to Point Partageuse where he has signed on as the lighthouse keeper on Janus Rock. There in town, he meets Isabel “Izzy” Graysmark. They marry and begin a life on the rock. Life quickly becomes harsh when Izzy suffers two miscarriages and delivers a stillborn son. The next day, Tom makes his discovery. Izzy desperate for a child, begs Tom not to record the event in the lighthouse log book and they would raise the child as their own. Seeing how happy she is and against his better judgment he agrees. They present the child as their own. Together they live as a family for two years when they return to town on their annual leave. There they learn the identity of the man who died and the events that led him into the boat. They also discover that the baby’s mother is still alive. Hannah Roennfeldt is a desperate woman who spends her days wandering around the shore, searching for her husband and daughter who disappeared on ANZAC Day. Tom wants to confess what has been done but Izzy believes it’s too late. After four years, their secret is out. The questions start. Who is right? Who takes the blame? Who is this child’s mother?

This book was recommended to me by my Aunt Sharon. I was curious about this story. A story that reminded me of the King Solomon story from the Bible where two women fight over a surviving child. As a woman who had lost two babies, I understand Izzy’s desperation and thinking that the baby’s arrival at the lighthouse was a gift from God. On the other hand, as a mother of a daughter, I understand Hannah’s desperation, the fight to keep her only child and the desire to punish the people who took her from her. In this story, there are no clear winners, no clear happy ending. No matter the choice, one woman will be hurt and the course of a child’s life is altered forever.

I highly recommend this book. It is a great story in an amazing backdrop, the western coast of Australia. My only complaint is that the author never explain what ANZAC day was. It is mentioned several times in the story that I had to look it up. ANZAC Day is a day of remembrance in Australia and New Zealand that commemorates its citizens who served and died in all wars, conflicts and peacekeeping operations observed on April 25. It was originally organized as a day to honor the members of the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) who fought at Gallipoli in World War I. 

Remember our fallen heroes on Memorial Day

Memorial Day is treated at the start of summer. Vacations, barbecues, picnics and parades.

The origins of Memorial Day are much more solemn than that. It began as local communities would honor the men who died in Civil War battles. In May 1866, Major General John A. Logan declared there should be a decoration day when all the graves of the Civil War would be decorated with flowers in their honor. He chose May 30 as a Decoration Day, according a theory, because the flowers would be in bloom around the country. The first observance was held at Arlington National Cemetery. The official birthplace of Memorial Day was declared by Congress and President Johnson in 1966 as the town of Waterloo, New York, where the entire community would close down and decorated the graves of the soldiers on May 30. It was not until after World War I, that all men and women who died in American wars were included in the observances. In 1971, Memorial Day was officially made a national holiday and moved to the last Monday in May.

There so many names which to be recognized and honor. There is one name which is very dear to me and the Bedard family. 

His name is Corporal John M. Corcoran, USMC. He served in the 1^St Battalion, 24^th Marines, Able Company on Iwo Jima where he would die on 23 February 1945. He grew up with my grandfather, Ken, in Boston, Massachusetts. After joining the Marines, he would meet my grandmother, Ruby, in Los Angeles, California. He was my grandfather’s best friend and my grandmother’s boyfriend. The news of his death prompted my grandfather to give the news to my grandmother while on liberty in California. Without his death, my grandparents may never have met and I probably would not be here today. In more ways than one, one man had to die so that so many others could live. 

Today, I honor Corporal Corcoran for his sacrifice as I honor the many other men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice for me and my family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. We may never know all of your names and what you did for this country but your sacrifice will never be forgotten by me or my family. 

Return to Zero: a movie about life's journey after a stillbirth

Return to Zero starring Minnie Driver and Paul Adelstein which aired in the U.S. on May 17^th. It is based on the real journey of the director, writer and producer, Sean Hanish and his wife, Kiley, after the stillbirth of their first child.

It opens with the childbirth class that Aaron and Maggie Royal are taking. They joke with each other and are obviously excited about the coming of their first child. Then they have the baby shower where they reveal the gender with the cutting of the cake. It’s a boy! All the men congratulate Aaron on “getting it right the first time.” At the doctor’s office, the nurse and the doctor can’t find the heartbeat. This is where the doctor gives her the devastating news, the baby has died. The couple soon meets with the doctor and a grief counselor and make decisions on how to proceed. They name the baby Arthur. At the memorial service, they release balloons in honor of Arthur. Maggie and Aaron are left to pick up the pieces. Their marriage is at the point of breaking when Maggie discovers she’s pregnant again.

Return to Zero portrays a story that many people do not want to talk about or even think about. Stillbirths occur about 1 out of 160 pregnancies. Sometimes there is a reason why but most often, there isn’t. I have very mixed feelings about this movie. On one hand, I am happy that someone is willing to talk about a topic that many people wish to ignore. I have met many women who have lost a child through stillbirth and they are desperate to have their children acknowledge and their pain recognized. I liked that the loss of a child either it be through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss, the pain is the same. “It’s the loss of the possibility of what might have been” as one character describes the situation.

There are many reasons why I have mixed feelings about this movie. What I disliked is the reason why I can’t love this movie. First, at one point of the movie, Aaron is talking with his co-worker and he talks about how his sex life is nonexistent since the death of his child. He refers to his penis as Geddy Lee (who is the lead vocalist, bassist and keyboardist for the Canadian rock group, Rush). I know that some men name their penises but it wasn’t necessary for the story and actually caused me to dislike Aaron. Second, Maggie begins to feel sick and runs to the bathroom to vomit. I didn’t need to see her actually vomit. It wasn’t necessary to actually see her vomit. The noises from outside the bathroom would have done the trick. Third, Maggie takes the pregnant test and the audience actually sees her take down her pants and hears her pee. I didn’t need to see her take the test. I didn’t need to see Maggie sitting on the toilet. I think a scene of her staring at the positive test would have had the same effect.

I commend the movie for speaking up for a taboo subject but I found both Maggie and Aaron unlikable. There is so much more I can tell you why I disliked this movie but I think you get the picture. If you want a glimpse into one story of a stillbirth and the journey of recovery, I would recommend this movie as there aren’t many to choose from. Return to Zero is a typical Lifetime movie which portrays a real life story that has stale acting and stereotypical characters. 

"The Shape of Mercy" by Susan Meissner: a great book about appearances and judgments

The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner is about three women connected through time by a diary. Each woman had to face a choice, a choice that could alter her life forever. Each woman must face the standards and expectations of her time and make a life-altering decision. A decision that could bring great happiness or great sorrow.

The story opens with Lauren Dorough, a young college student at University of California, San Barbara. She grew up in a life of privilege that she is desperately trying to leave behind and prove that she can make it without the family money. She takes a job for Abigail Boyles, an 83-year old retired librarian. Abigail wants Lauren to transcribe the 17^th century diary of her relative, Mercy Hayworth, a victim of the Salem Witch Trials.

The Salem Witch Trials occurred between February 1692 – May 1693 in Salem Village (present day Danvers, Massachusetts) when a group of girls became ill and began accusing local villagers of witchcraft. In all, over 200 women and men would be accused. 19 men and women would be hanged, 1 man would be crushed to death and an unknown number of others would die in prison awaiting trial and/or execution. The mass hysteria caused by the accusations plays out in Mercy’s diary. The diary begins in January 1692. Mercy is a unique woman for her time. She can read and write. She writes “once upon a time” stories which is seen as unnatural for a woman and she keeps her stories hidden. The entries in the diary are weaved into the happenings of Lauren’s and Abigail’s lives.

There are great number of lessons in this book. Lessons in which the reader forced to confront their own judgments of others with the backdrop of one of America’s worse witch hunts. Mercy is judged a witch because she reads and writes stories. Lauren is judged a snob because she comes from money. Abigail is judged as a bitter old woman. Are these judgments correct? What evidence is there to prove or disprove these judgments? I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The author took great care to get the details of the witch trials correct while tweaking some for dramatic effect. I enjoyed reading Lauren’s journey through the diary and the events in the diary help her see the faults in her life. Mercy’s story is heartbreaking. As I read, I knew her fate and yet I hope that she would get a happy ending. Unfortunately, like many of the Salem Witch Trial victims, she does not. This is the second book I’ve read by Ms. Meissner. And while the past connection with the present through an object is a theme she has carried on in many of her books. I enjoyed how she weaves the past with the present. How the past can still teach us and show our faults and possibly even offer solutions to repair these faults.

“We use the dumbest things to measure someone’s worth” –Lauren

Happiest and most complete: the simple things

A question posed to me: When do you feel at your happiest and most complete?  I thought about it. I could say when I finished my degrees. I felt happy but complete? Not quite. I could say when I got married. I did feet happy and complete that I had found my husband, the man I had been praying for since I was 16 years old. Close...

On Friday, I took my husband to work, then took my mom to work. I took Abby to the park, we played until we had to go pick up Joe. We did grocery shopping and come home, putting the groceries ahead. I had to clean out the pantry to make room. Gave Abby her bath and picked up mom from work. Bedtime. On Saturday, I drove Joe to work, ran an errand before I dropped him off. Came home and did some laundry. I posted a new book review. Gave Abby her breakfast and got her dressed. Finished the laundry and later I will drop my mom off at work and pick up Joe from work.

Then I realized that I feel happy and most complete when I have accomplished something. It can be big like graduating from college, or getting married or having that special baby. But it can also be in the everyday, monotonous chores. I don’t mind laundry. What I don’t like is walking back and forth to the laundry room, hoping that there are washer and dryers available and that someone has touched your stuff. 

I feel happy and complete when:

• We do something fun like Disneyland or the park and we come home dirty and tired. After a long, hot shower and nice clean pajamas, you crawl into bed and sigh with contentment. 
• Laying down my daughter and taking a nap, even though there is plenty to do around the house. Then you wake up energize and ready to tackle those pesky chores.
• Watching football with my family. Watching Abby jump up and down when something exciting happens and even making the “Touchdown” sign when our team scores!
• Reading a good book with silence as my daughter naps
• I realize how blessed I am and how far the Lord has brought me in my life. 

Just think about the simple things that make you feel happy and complete. I think the answer will surprise you. 

"A Fall of Marigolds" by Susan Meissner, a story of recovery

A Fall of Marigolds by Susan Meissner caught my eye in Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago and I immediately put in on my list. It caught my attention for two reasons. One, marigolds are October’s birth flower and therefore when I see or hear about them I think of Ziva. Second, the story. It’s about two women separated by time who both suffer through a great loss and their survival is linked to one scarf blooming with marigolds.

The story opens with Taryn who works at a quilting shop in Manhattan in September 2011. The 10 year anniversary of 9/11 is fast approaching and she lost her husband on that tragic day and is fighting the urge to hide until the anniversary memorials are over. She has been searching for a client, material that will match this marigold scarf, the scarf that saved her life. She is struggling to find a way to move on without leaving her husband behind.

The majority of the story is about Clara, a nurse on Ellis Island in 1911. She suffered a loss when the building she worked in burned. On March 25, 1991, the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire was one of the deadliest industrial disasters in the history of New York City and one of the deadliest disasters until 9/11. It caused the deaths of 146 garment workers (123 women and 23 men) when the owners had locked the doors to the stairwells and the exits which was a common practice at the time to prevent theft and unauthorized breaks. Many of the workers could not escape. The victims either died from the fire, smoke inhalation or falling and/or jumping to their deaths from the 8^th, 9^th and 10^th floors of the Asch Building. Clara retreats to the Ellis Island hospital where incoming immigrants are checked for diseases and treated before sending them on to New York City.

I enjoyed this story very much. I enjoyed going on Clara’s and Taryn’s journey of recovery with the backdrop of two deadliest disasters in New York City history. I liked how the author described Ellis Island as the in-between place. It was between the old world and America. For Clara, it was in-between the past and her future. The main theme of this story is grief recovery and letting go of what might have been. There is a lot of history and detail about Ellis Island that I was not aware of. I would like to continue to learn more about Ellis Island and its history place in our nation’s history.

“Love is the only constant in a fragile world” -Clara