October is National Family Sexuality Education Month

October is National Family Sexuality Education Month. Created by Dr Sol Gordon in 1975 at the Institute of Family Research and Education. The purpose is to promote family education and communication about sex and sexuality. Many parents avoid talking openly about sex with their children for various reasons including embarrassment and being unsure how and when to begin. The absence of open conversations with their parents leaves children vulnerable to misinformation and unrealistic messages portrayed in music, movies, television, and advertising. What is the important of family sex education? What are some tips to get started? What tools are available to parents?

Education begins in the home with parents. Conversation are important as children and teens are more likely to base their sexual decisions on their parents than their friends (Berger, Shafer, & Williams, 2019). It is important to start early too. With preschoolers, it is important to teach consent and empower children to say no and talk with an adult when they don’t like the physical contact or situations with other children or adults. Growing Up Knowing, an organization based in Jackson, Mississippi, hosts sex education sessions for preschoolers, elementary schoolers and middle schoolers with their parents and caregivers. By learning together about sexual health, parents and children can have further discussions about tougher topics such as preventing sexual assault, the consequences of risky behaviors and how to protect one self. Being able to discuss the awkward and embarrassing topics with your children, keeps the lines of communication open for other tough topics. “If open communication is normal, kids are more likely to speak with parents about all the other trials of adolescence, such as anxiety, depression, relationships, and the use of drugs and alcohol, as well as sexual issues” (Staff, 2019).

The number one tip for parents is to prepare yourself. Before your child can ask the questions, read the books, get the information and be ready to answer the questions for any age. Getting the information for yourself first, you can avoid using scary language in which would frighten children from asking questions in the future. Second, keep your answers age appropriate. A preschooler who asks where babies come from doesn’t need the full scientific details. Give just enough information to satisfy their curiosity for the time being. You can be more accurate as they get older. Also avoid using slang for body parts, it just makes it harder to use the correct terms later. Using the correct terms early helps build self-esteem and strengthens communication between parents and their children. Third, keep the message positive. teach children to appreciate their own bodies and to respect the personal space of others. Lastly and most importantly, reassure your child that no question is forbidden. Keep the communication open so when they hare older, your child is comfortable coming to you with the harder questions and difficult discussions.

I recommend God’s Design for Sex series by Stan Jones and Brenna Jones. It is a series of four books, each book covers the basic information needed for a certain age group. Book 1 The Story of Me (ages 3-5), Book 2. Before I was Born (ages 5-8), Book 3, What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares about Sex (ages 8-11), and Book 4, Facing the Facts: The Truth about Sex and You (ages 11-14). The age recommendations are suggestions, parents should gage their own child’s readiness. Each book is told from a Christian perspective and gives the necessary information without overwhelming parents or children with topics that are necessary for each age group. I used these books as a conversation starter. I didn’t read word or word but used it as a guide and allowed my 8-year-old daughter to ask the questions she wanted to know and let other topics she didn’t want to know yet for a later date. Despite faith based, it doesn’t shy away from controversial topics and doesn’t speak badly about them, it just states the facts.

In conclusion, October was designated at the National Family Sexuality Education Month to promote conversations between parents and their children. Sex education starts at home. It can start with the basics and grows into more important and difficult topics as children get older. It is important to educate yourself on what information to give at a certain age, how and when to present the information. There are countless of books and other tools for parents to read for themselves as well as to use as part of their conversation. It is not an easy conversation but an important one. And it gets easier with each conversation. You’ll be ready for the difficult questions and topics.

 

References

Berger, Bethany, Shafer, Leah and Williams, Ronesha (May 6, 2019). Sex Ed for the Whole Family. Harvard Graduate School of Education. www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/19/05/sex-ed-whole-family. Retrieved October 3, 2020.

Staff (June 6, 2019). Sex education for children: Why parents should talk to their kids about sex. About Kids Health. www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Article?contentid=718&language=English#:~:text=Instilling%20your%20family%20values,of%20the%20discussions%20about%20sexuality. Retrieved October 3, 2020.

 

Resources

Amaze www.amaze.org. Be an Askable Parent

Growing Up Knowing www.growingupknowing.org.